That phone call that changed my life

[Toilichte]

Inspired by another thread on here. 3 years ago I was in a deeply unhappy relationship, I posted on here a lot at the time. Finally one day I was brave enough to fill in an online form on a solicitor website that Google threw up. I hadn’t done any research into the firm, didn’t know what I was doing, just knew I was unhappy, venting to mumsnet and things needed to change.

I had a conversation with a solicitor, it hadn’t been my plan that morning. He called me after I put in the form. He was so kind, and on it. He made the process seem so clear. I was worried about ownership of my dog- he didn’t think that was silly or the wrong thing to focus on. He just gave me excellent advice.

I wasn’t married, and so actually the process was quite simple. I never engaged his services. I just had that conversation which let me know the lay of the land and that was it.

I don’t think he knows that he changed my life, and I will be forever grateful. Probably one of a million conversations he’s had on the same vein, but for me that conversation means the world.

This wasn't a phone call either. I separated from my first husband I was very young but he was one of those who always gave me the silent treatment and he would have nothing to do with me physically, but would look at top shelf magazines in front of me describing what he would like to do with the women in them.
I felt like I was the ugliest, unappealing woman ever, I felt that no decent man would ever find me attractive and my self esteem was at an all time low.
I got off the bus early one evening loaded down with bags. A young man about my age got off after me and offered to help me carry my bags, he ended up literally chatting me up as we walked along
I didn't meet up with him for a drink as I was going away to stay with my brother when he suggested, but that young man will never know what he did to my self confidence and self esteem that day. It gave me enough to get me "out there" again.

In lockdown I was working from home, plus studying at home, with my children at home and my marriage was going down the pan. I phoned a gp about my child who listened carefully at the end the gp asked if I was ok. No one ever asked me that, took me by complete surprise. It was completely appreciated.

I’m glad that conversation helped you so much. I would write, or email and thank them.

He'd appreciate the feedback. Years ago I was a very young financial adviser. I talked to a young couple who didn't have much to spend but they were financially dependent on each other to pay the mortgage and look after the children. He wanted a savings plan because nothing would happen. She wanted life insurance. They took the life insurance. Two years later he called me to say she had died of leukaemia and he was so grateful for the advice and that I'd persuaded her, and therefore she had persuaded him. Awful but it's what makes these jobs worthwhile.

What a lovely thread. A reminder of what an impact we can have from a single act of care or concern for others.
Thanks OP

I was a counsellor working with young people. One late teenager attended just two sessions and didn't return. That isn't unusual with troubled clients and particularly youngsters but I was disappointed as I thought I could help him.

The office sent out the usual feedback forms but he didn't return them (again very normal with our client base).

A year later he returned the forms with a note saying that something I had said in the second session had had a profound impact on him. He hadn't come back because it had made the difference he needed and he had totally turned his life around since then. That meant so much to know one tiny interpretation from me had helped him become who he wanted to be.

Lovely thread. Mine was a meeting with a solicitor who told me in no circumstances should I take out an endowment mortgage: ‘if you don’t understand how the money works, don’t do it’. Despite strong opposition from my mortgage provider, I stuck to capital and repayment mortgages from that day forward. He saved me thousands of £££. I couldn’t track him down years later when the scandal broke to thank him sadly.

Kindness really is the most important thing in the world. And that includes manners (which are a form of kindness). At painful moments in our lives, nastiness and spite can push us over the edge. When I go in a shop or a cafe, I am always super polite. I have no idea what the girl on the till, or the young guy who makes my coffee, is going through. For all I know may be nursing their mum through cancer or god knows what.

You should contact them and tell them.

About 10 years ago, I had eye surgery to correct a squint. Something that had got in the way of my self-esteem for most of my life.
I was probably one of hundreds of similar operations my surgeon had done - real bread and butter sort of work for an eye surgeon - but it changed my life.
After my healing was complete, and I felt the benefit, I wrote him a card to say thank you.

From start to finish, the whole process cost me about £23 in carpark fees.
God bless the NHS.

Thank you everyone, there are some lovely stories here xx

If you get to tell them then do.

I recall one day of the week not long after we’d had this years Mother’s Day answering the last call of the day to someone just sobbing and in desperate despair.

Couple of weeks ago I got them back as a caller to the same line and was thanked, they sounded so much better. We’re not meant to acknowledge we’ve spoken to them before but it was quite hard to deny.

Totally agree @MrsOvertonsWindow thanks @Toilichte for starting it . I have several people who I still say a little prayer for because they helped me so much. These range from the council worker who really listened to my issues with my drive flooding from the nearby lane. He installed a channel for the water and a kerb to funnel it into the channel all without fuss or asking anyone ‘higher up’ for permission. No more flooding and the water goes into the drain where it’s supposed to. Also the fantastic Orthopaedic surgeon who treated my plantar fasciitis with shockwave therapy. I honestly believe I would have ended up in a wheelchair without his help. I have people who have helped me medically and practically with all sorts of issues. Also those who helped during my career not for any self interest just kindness.

Mine are from when I was young.

In the first year of secondary school I was a mental wreck coping with my extremely dysfunctional family and I developed a severe, debilitating phobia. The head of year who was also my art teacher asked me to stay behind and chat after a lesson to see what was wrong. She listened then said "what can I do to help?". I almost did a double take, it was the first time any adult had actually asked what I wanted and been kind to me with no strings attached. She then did what I asked and made life easier for me. I'm tearing up now! It was so important to me.

The other was after university, I was staying with my boyfriend's family and temping while looking for jobs. The boyfriend was not to last but his mum was fab. She asked how my job hunt was going and I said I'd found an ad for my dream job but would never get it so had binned it. She marched me to the bin and fished it out and gave me a pep talk about how I had to apply and would get it. I did!

So many wonderful stories. Mine is a conversation. My A level teacher changed my life by telling me how good I was at a particular subject and encouraging me in every way they could. I went on to study this subject and obtained a higher degree in it. I don’t know if I would have done it without her making me believe in myself. Good teachers can make a huge difference to people’s lives!

100% let them know how positive their actions were. So much so that you are still thinking about their kindness 3 years later.

People are too quick to complain and moan about services.

For me, it was the breastfeeding counsellor, who came home 2 weeks after my daughter was born. It meant the world to me to hear those words of support that it will work eventually, when I was facing so much pressure to give up and switch to formula milk. I have kept her details safe, but last time I tried to reach out to say thank you, she had left the job after many years of service.

I had a very very traumatic birth experience and an emergency caesarean and DD being seriously unwell and in NICU for a long time..I received the most awful healthcare possible.

After getting home from NICU, I gave it my all to the breastfeeding thing and felt like a total failure that it wasn't working. DD couldn't latch properly and looking back, probably being small and unwell meant she didn't have any strength.. or that I didn't express enough in the initial days.

Her kind words changed it all for me.
I understand that it's not the same for everyone, BF was a very very important thing for me, particularly after all that had happened at birth.

Ten years ago - I was 40. I tried to take my own life. I lived overseas, and this amazing mental health nurse at the hospital sat with me and told my husband at the time to basically shut up, she got him out the room, and she told me he was abusive and I must get away from him. She called my parents and told them to get there quick and get him away from me. 10 years on I am back in my home country surrounded by loved ones, and with a new man who treats me how I deserve.

I had kept everything from my family and friends. That woman saved me. She doesnt even know. I should tell her...This thread has inspired me to find her and tell her.

I always think that mortgage brokers must play an important part in so many people's lives. It seems such a dull job, but actually a decent mortgage broker can make real change happen. I had a great one myself - she ended up knowing so much about me.

Mine was a teacher who believed in me. For two years, he gave up 3 lunch hours a week to introduce me to things outside of my world - broadsheet newspapers, Panorama, loads of books... I ended up being the only person in my sixth form to go to University (and the first in my family). I invited him to my graduation and he was bursting with pride.

I love this, so simple, I must do it more. People are often just thrilled to be noticed and seen in a busy world.

Oh definitely do that. I'd be thrilled to think someone appreciated my advice and time, even if it was years later and I didn't remember them

I have a rule now - if I think a nice thing I say it to the person - no matter if they are a stranger. If I love their jumpsuit, or their lipstick - or whatever it is. I know some people think this is wrong and objectifying, but I started doing it about 10 years ago (Im 50) and the smiles I get from people is so heartwarming. I don't lie, its just whats in my head. Its selfish too, cos the buzz I get from giving compliments (which is sooo unbritish) is amazing.

Not a phone call, but a colleague was told she was being made redundant. I was helping her look for jobs in a different sector and found one that I was really suited for (she couldn’t have applied for it). I moved sectors and progressed further in my career than I would have if I stayed put. Wouldn’t have been job hunting if not for helping my colleague.

AND then when I left she was able to move into my role so win win! 🤣

I really want to know what the surgery was!
If it's not too outing, can you tell us, because I bet I'm not the only one me?

I didn't make the phone call that changed my life. My husband did. I'd tried to end my life, in huge part because of him, I texted him for help, he rang for help, they called back days later, said I wasn't ill enough for them to help me. However, he told me what type of help I needed. First person couldn't help due to other issues, second one changed my life and saved my life.

I divorced the husband, have moved well away and much happier than I've been for a long time.