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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:58

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:56

Ok. I give up. No, you're absolutely right. No we shouldn't. Yes you're correct we should only concentrate on the angry voices from the ethnic minority side. It's made us excellent progress so far. We're doing really well in 2025. I won't bother adding about the fact we sympathised and listened to people that were ripping down historic statues and pretzling ourselves to understand their anger and hostility. No we'll ignore it all. We'll carry on just having things only work one way. As you rightly say : going really smoothly isn't it. And yes, I guess anyone who says otherwise is a racist gammon headed bigot. Fabulous.

Are you shouting at clouds? You're certainly not addressing any points I've made. Have a lie down.

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:58

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:57

It depends on what they want. It's not possible to deport all brown and black people and create a ethnostate.

Oh you really do love your extremes don't you....

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:00

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 14:55

Likewise, I don't dismiss climate change and environmental concerns because of the reprehensible actions of extinction rebellion et al.

So if climate change caused suffering across the UK would you say it is fine we'll just focus on dealing with one area in the UK because the rest aren't important they can suffer still?

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:02

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 14:54

I wouldn't want to meet with those people, before or after they rioted. But I would want to meet with the people that have similar concerns that raise them in a more acceptable way. This then should gradually take the heat out of the situation as more and more people feel that they are being listened to.

So if they said remove all brown people from the UK what would you do to make sure they are listened to as that is what they want.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 15:02

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:58

Oh you really do love your extremes don't you....

Are you actually going to engage in points raised or make constant snarky remarks? Talk about tiresome.

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:05

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:02

So if they said remove all brown people from the UK what would you do to make sure they are listened to as that is what they want.

I suppose you would start with "why?" To unpick what their real boiled down problem is...

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 15:06

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:02

So if they said remove all brown people from the UK what would you do to make sure they are listened to as that is what they want.

That is clearly an extreme position. I can't help feeling that your question is somewhat of a trap.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:08

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:05

I suppose you would start with "why?" To unpick what their real boiled down problem is...

So they could have the monopoly on crime?

What would you do? Also did you find a mosque you could go to in the end that I suggested?

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:09

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 15:06

That is clearly an extreme position. I can't help feeling that your question is somewhat of a trap.

Nope that is what they were saying when rioting that they want immigrants out. Not italian immigrants, not australian immigrants or saffa immigrants - brown immigrants. They also categorise all brown people as immigrants despite most being born here.

Basically they want ethnic cleansing.

MrsSunshine2b · 18/06/2025 15:14

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:23

Gammons? You do realise people like you are exactly part of the problem.

Sorry, I didn't realise that not coddling the feelings of violent, destructive criminals was contributing to the systematic rape and torture of children. What would you like me to call people who commit violent attacks on innocent people, destroy their own communities with vandalism and robbery and set fire to places of worship?

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 15:15

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:00

So if climate change caused suffering across the UK would you say it is fine we'll just focus on dealing with one area in the UK because the rest aren't important they can suffer still?

No, I think the equivalence that you are trying here is to say that either we tackle all the ills in the world or we tackle none.

I'm not going to spin myself in these knots.

How I see it is that we know that a specific section of the Pakistani community are massively overrepresented in the industrial scale abuse of predominantly, but not exclusively, extremely vulnerable white underage girls, and many on the coal face suspect that this is the tip of the iceberg. I see a media that was reluctant to report, and uses euphemisms such as grooming and Asian for rape and Pakistani. I see politicians falling over themselves to bury this issue and cry far right at every opportunity. I see victims being criminalised. I see the usual shit from the do gooders every time a rape gang of white origin is uncovered asking where the outrage is. Of course there is outrage, but by definition the authorities did their fucking job, other than a select few who are fucking heroes, no one seemed to want to take this on.

ZoeCM · 18/06/2025 15:15

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 09:54

You're talking in extremes. It's a common tactic of the liberals. I never once said "all Muslims should be held accountable for the acts of terrorists" never said it.

I don't get what you find so difficult to understand about this : Muslim and islam is not a western world religion. We've embraced multiculturalism (it's a lovely idea and it's a shame it isn't working so successfully) so when In a majority white, majority Christian/atheist small island , all recent terrorist attacks have been done by people labelling themselves as "Muslim" : I would think it's an absolute no brainer for Muslim community leaders to start advertising "not in our name ". Otherwise hatred and prejudice and hostility and division starts spreading. Especially when we hear "the Muslim community are appalled by these atrocities done in their name" yet we hear very little from the actual Muslim community.....

After the Pulse nightclub massacre in Orlando in 2016 - a homophobic mass shooting by a Muslim man - I read an article about the impact on the Muslim community. None of the Muslims interviewed expressed a word of sympathy for the victims or their families. None of them condemned homophobia or even mass murder. It was all about them, and how worried they were about potential retaliation. The article presented the Muslim community as the true victims of the massacre.

TildaSwan · 18/06/2025 15:18

MrsSunshine2b · 18/06/2025 15:14

Sorry, I didn't realise that not coddling the feelings of violent, destructive criminals was contributing to the systematic rape and torture of children. What would you like me to call people who commit violent attacks on innocent people, destroy their own communities with vandalism and robbery and set fire to places of worship?

'Idiots' would suffice. No need to fight racism with racism.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:22

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 15:15

No, I think the equivalence that you are trying here is to say that either we tackle all the ills in the world or we tackle none.

I'm not going to spin myself in these knots.

How I see it is that we know that a specific section of the Pakistani community are massively overrepresented in the industrial scale abuse of predominantly, but not exclusively, extremely vulnerable white underage girls, and many on the coal face suspect that this is the tip of the iceberg. I see a media that was reluctant to report, and uses euphemisms such as grooming and Asian for rape and Pakistani. I see politicians falling over themselves to bury this issue and cry far right at every opportunity. I see victims being criminalised. I see the usual shit from the do gooders every time a rape gang of white origin is uncovered asking where the outrage is. Of course there is outrage, but by definition the authorities did their fucking job, other than a select few who are fucking heroes, no one seemed to want to take this on.

Not all the ills in the world just focusing on dealing with child abuse without excluding some perpetrators and some victims.

It is certainly not predominantly white girls that are their victims! You really think rapists do not rape people in their own community and that kids in pakistani communities are safe with paedos because these muslim victims do not report it because they cannot. A prime example of what I said. You are happy to exclude muslim victims. Why?

The media did report. They only reported on grooming gangs that were not white. They didn't report on grooming gangs that were white. Reluctant for some reason to report on white grooming gangs.

Of course there is outrage but no burning of people when it is white men doing it? Why? They don't care enough to riot when it is white people doing it as they support them in the main and turn a blind eye. Irony eh? The authorities did not do their jobs at all with victims of white gangs. Not one bit. They did exactly the same to victims of white gangs as they did to victims of brown gangs.

Odd that black gangs are never mentioned also?

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 15:26

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:22

Not all the ills in the world just focusing on dealing with child abuse without excluding some perpetrators and some victims.

It is certainly not predominantly white girls that are their victims! You really think rapists do not rape people in their own community and that kids in pakistani communities are safe with paedos because these muslim victims do not report it because they cannot. A prime example of what I said. You are happy to exclude muslim victims. Why?

The media did report. They only reported on grooming gangs that were not white. They didn't report on grooming gangs that were white. Reluctant for some reason to report on white grooming gangs.

Of course there is outrage but no burning of people when it is white men doing it? Why? They don't care enough to riot when it is white people doing it as they support them in the main and turn a blind eye. Irony eh? The authorities did not do their jobs at all with victims of white gangs. Not one bit. They did exactly the same to victims of white gangs as they did to victims of brown gangs.

Odd that black gangs are never mentioned also?

It's for the same reason violent thugs riot over VAWAG when someone with brown skin does it. They're not adverse to domestic abuse or endemic sexual violence when they are their ilk are doing it.

I wonder how many are marching to end VAWAG, volunteering in charities and calling out misogyny when they see it?

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:29

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:08

So they could have the monopoly on crime?

What would you do? Also did you find a mosque you could go to in the end that I suggested?

Edited

I have Muslim friends and colleagues. I'm not a racist just because I think we should be able to speak out about the heritage of grooming gangs perpetrators.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:31

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 15:26

It's for the same reason violent thugs riot over VAWAG when someone with brown skin does it. They're not adverse to domestic abuse or endemic sexual violence when they are their ilk are doing it.

I wonder how many are marching to end VAWAG, volunteering in charities and calling out misogyny when they see it?

Oh completely! These thugs are violent people. People would have you believe that those who are violent in broad daylight in front of cameras and the press are not violent thugs elsewhere - in the home, in town etc. We have people spiking drinks, smashing glasses in people's faces in town, hitting people with snooker cues, smashing up football stadiums etc but yeah they are not violent aside from the riots eh?

They are all a much of a muchness.

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:31

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:29

I have Muslim friends and colleagues. I'm not a racist just because I think we should be able to speak out about the heritage of grooming gangs perpetrators.

I think it's distateful that you are assuming I either have total ignorance towards Muslims or don't like them just because I'm not in the extreme liberal left camp. You don't seem to be able to grasp that it's possible to be able to challenge minority problems without hating on people !?

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 15:34

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:31

I think it's distateful that you are assuming I either have total ignorance towards Muslims or don't like them just because I'm not in the extreme liberal left camp. You don't seem to be able to grasp that it's possible to be able to challenge minority problems without hating on people !?

You're arguing with yourself now.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:36

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:29

I have Muslim friends and colleagues. I'm not a racist just because I think we should be able to speak out about the heritage of grooming gangs perpetrators.

Grand I never said you were racist.

We can speak about the heritage of grooming gangs absolutely.

We can speak about the brown gangs.
We can also speak about the white gangs.
Oddly no one has spoken about the black gangs.

So yes you can speak about the brown gangs in the same way I can speak about all gangs including the white ones. Right?

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 15:45

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 15:31

I think it's distateful that you are assuming I either have total ignorance towards Muslims or don't like them just because I'm not in the extreme liberal left camp. You don't seem to be able to grasp that it's possible to be able to challenge minority problems without hating on people !?

What is your take on black grooming gangs and why that is being ignored?

C8H10N4O2 · 18/06/2025 15:47

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:17

Thanks .
So what was your answer to this question ?
why are the Pakistani ( more specifically Mipuri ) communities so highly represented in the grooming gangs compared to other Asian groups?

In Rotherham/Oldham type areas? They are one of the dominant cultural groups in the lower social economic classes of that area.

Just like in Northern Ireland white WC Catholics or white WC Protestants dominate their local organised crime groups. (ditto in Glasgow and some other parts of the UK). Just as in parts of South London organised crime has a sizeable Jamaican inheritance and in North London its Albanians. In overwhelmingly white parts of the country its the traditional local white WC families.

You keep saying you don’t want to deflect by talking about specifically RC enabled abuse or other groups but its the same problem. The differences are some of the practical specifics and behaviours, not the nature of the crime. Do you really think the white WC East London gangs or white WC Catholic gangs funding the IRA had any respect for the women and girls they trafficked or the children to whom they sold drugs?

If you say migrants from some countries have a more conservative social attitude to women on arrival I’d agree with you. However lets not forget that its barely 30 years since a man could still legally rape his wife in the UK, its still near impossible to get convictions for rape and sexual assault - especially if the purpertrator is white and monied. Its really dangerous to assume misogynistic crime is mainly a problem of one group when most convictions for this type of individual and organised crime are IC1.

Middle class organised crime is typically more focused on fraud and cybercrime but the categories overlap when fraud and cybercrime become involved in money laundering. It doesn’t attract the headlines in the way that minority grooming gangs do but every one of us is paying for it every day.

Obeseandashamed · 18/06/2025 15:49

Everanewbie · 14/06/2025 23:46

The difference @saraclara is that these vile creatures were prosecuted. The victims were believed. The communities weren’t shielding the perpetrators. The police weren’t afraid to prosecute them to the full extent of the law. The victims weren’t selected for their race. And nobody was dissuaded from talking about it for the sake of community cohesion.

The fact that there are white grooming gangs does not take away the seriousness of the cover ups and failure to tackle Pakistani rape gangs. Pretending that concerns and calls for further enquiries are based on racism just doesn’t cut it anymore. We know too much now.

I take umbrage with the point you make about victims being selected for their race. There are many Asian victims but they often get forgotten. They’re not targeted for their race, they targeted because they’re vulnerable and have less oversight irrespective of their race. Un/fortunately BAME girls tend to have less freedom and more oversight/control to the point that it often infringes their liberty therefore there is less opportunity for them to be groomed. When they are victims, it sadly goes unreported for many of the reasons you mentioned before; they are not believed and instead treated as promiscuous and troublemakers. Despite what mainstream media may have you believe, let’s not make it a race issue because it’s not. It’s a male issue and one that needs to be tackled. An inquiry is a good place to start.

Abitofalark · 18/06/2025 15:57

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:14

Can we get away from this deflection now please.

Deflection? I asked a simple question in direct response to you:

OpheliaWasntMad · Yesterday 23:01
Well I’m Catholic and I’m horrified. We do talk about it - everyone I know is completely sickened. If you speak to Irish Catholics you would know how very strongly they feel about these atrocities. The abusers were clergy and the abuse was covered up by clergy . Not ordinary Irish Catholics. Ordinary Irish Catholic families were victims.
It will take generations for the wounds to properly heal .

Why not answer instead of...er...deflecting?

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 16:11

Obeseandashamed · 18/06/2025 15:49

I take umbrage with the point you make about victims being selected for their race. There are many Asian victims but they often get forgotten. They’re not targeted for their race, they targeted because they’re vulnerable and have less oversight irrespective of their race. Un/fortunately BAME girls tend to have less freedom and more oversight/control to the point that it often infringes their liberty therefore there is less opportunity for them to be groomed. When they are victims, it sadly goes unreported for many of the reasons you mentioned before; they are not believed and instead treated as promiscuous and troublemakers. Despite what mainstream media may have you believe, let’s not make it a race issue because it’s not. It’s a male issue and one that needs to be tackled. An inquiry is a good place to start.

There are also a number of Sikh girls that have suffered. There's that euphemism again though. Asian. But the victims were predominately white British.