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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
Abitofalark · 18/06/2025 14:11

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 23:01

Well I’m Catholic and I’m horrified. We do talk about it - everyone I know is completely sickened. If you speak to Irish Catholics you would know how very strongly they feel about these atrocities. The abusers were clergy and the abuse was covered up by clergy . Not ordinary Irish Catholics. Ordinary Irish Catholic families were victims.
It will take generations for the wounds to properly heal .

Are you in Ireland?

MrsSunshine2b · 18/06/2025 14:12

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/06/2025 14:05

I was already aware of this, MrsSunshine2b, and very much agree with you that it's important to name these issues for what they are rather than risk damning people who are largely uninvolved

Trouble is, naming Pakistanis in areas where offending really is disproportionate to their numbers would cause a great deal of angst, so we'd be straight back where we started with the mindsets which put community sensitivies about all else

It's a tricky one because I don't think the cover up was because people were afraid of being called racist actually, I think it's because there are racist thugs in this country who are constantly looking for an excuse to start trouble and be violent.

I want those responsible to be held to account, and I want the cultural context of that to be examined and steps taken to deal with that so it doesn't happen again, whether that's more education programmes, better vetting of new arrivals, more police officers/ social workers within those communities to monitor and report on risk factors or something else.

I do not want marauding bands of gammons setting fire to mosques, attacking people who look vaguely brown and looting shops!

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:14

Abitofalark · 18/06/2025 14:11

Are you in Ireland?

Can we get away from this deflection now please.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:15

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:08

So my question for @Fetaface is “why are the Pakistani ( more specifically Mipuri ) communities so highly represented in the grooming gangs compared to other Asian groups?
Why don’t you want to talk about that and why are you constantly on this thread deflecting from that issue?
Are you connected with the Pakistani Mipuri community ?

Edited

I'm more than happy to talk about it. I've mentioned it a few times and when I do you go quiet because it wasn't what you wanted to hear that I agree with you but we'll not talk about that will we?

Nope I am not - 2nd time I have been accused of being Pakistani. The go to response about anyone who wants to help Pakistani victims.

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:15

MrsSunshine2b · 18/06/2025 14:12

It's a tricky one because I don't think the cover up was because people were afraid of being called racist actually, I think it's because there are racist thugs in this country who are constantly looking for an excuse to start trouble and be violent.

I want those responsible to be held to account, and I want the cultural context of that to be examined and steps taken to deal with that so it doesn't happen again, whether that's more education programmes, better vetting of new arrivals, more police officers/ social workers within those communities to monitor and report on risk factors or something else.

I do not want marauding bands of gammons setting fire to mosques, attacking people who look vaguely brown and looting shops!

I completely agree. Especially with your last paragraph.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:17

steps taken to deal with that so it doesn't happen again, whether that's more education programmes

We have already got how not to get groomed education lessons where the kids are told what other victims have done wrong. Apparently that is how we educate our kids on how not to get raped.

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:17

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:15

I'm more than happy to talk about it. I've mentioned it a few times and when I do you go quiet because it wasn't what you wanted to hear that I agree with you but we'll not talk about that will we?

Nope I am not - 2nd time I have been accused of being Pakistani. The go to response about anyone who wants to help Pakistani victims.

Edited

Thanks .
So what was your answer to this question ?
why are the Pakistani ( more specifically Mipuri ) communities so highly represented in the grooming gangs compared to other Asian groups?

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:21

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:17

Thanks .
So what was your answer to this question ?
why are the Pakistani ( more specifically Mipuri ) communities so highly represented in the grooming gangs compared to other Asian groups?

Misogyny as I have already stated and one which you ignored countless times when I discussed it being the underlying feature of all cultures and religion. The same reason why they were raping their own kids and wives at the same time.

Hatred of females. Simple.

Anything else you would like to talk about on this or are you going to lie some more about me?

Now can you answer why you have ignored me talking about it because you didn't like me agreeing?

Also can you answer why you think I am Pakistani?

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:23

MrsSunshine2b · 18/06/2025 14:12

It's a tricky one because I don't think the cover up was because people were afraid of being called racist actually, I think it's because there are racist thugs in this country who are constantly looking for an excuse to start trouble and be violent.

I want those responsible to be held to account, and I want the cultural context of that to be examined and steps taken to deal with that so it doesn't happen again, whether that's more education programmes, better vetting of new arrivals, more police officers/ social workers within those communities to monitor and report on risk factors or something else.

I do not want marauding bands of gammons setting fire to mosques, attacking people who look vaguely brown and looting shops!

Gammons? You do realise people like you are exactly part of the problem.

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:23

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:21

Misogyny as I have already stated and one which you ignored countless times when I discussed it being the underlying feature of all cultures and religion. The same reason why they were raping their own kids and wives at the same time.

Hatred of females. Simple.

Anything else you would like to talk about on this or are you going to lie some more about me?

Now can you answer why you have ignored me talking about it because you didn't like me agreeing?

Also can you answer why you think I am Pakistani?

Edited

I agree with you about the misogyny.
I profoundly disagree that all communities are equally as misogynistic. Some have more deep rooted misogynistic behaviours which are normalised and accepted.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:24

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:23

I agree with you about the misogyny.
I profoundly disagree that all communities are equally as misogynistic. Some have more deep rooted misogynistic behaviours which are normalised and accepted.

Have I said they are all equally misogynistic in that comment?

Can you copy and post where? I am keen to see my words where I supposedly said this.

Can you answer the rest of my questions please?

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:24

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:17

steps taken to deal with that so it doesn't happen again, whether that's more education programmes

We have already got how not to get groomed education lessons where the kids are told what other victims have done wrong. Apparently that is how we educate our kids on how not to get raped.

"educate educate educate" deal with it the fluffy way because we're scared of dealing with it properly. doesn't work.

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:25

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:23

Gammons? You do realise people like you are exactly part of the problem.

Well yes - the term gammons is racially pejorative and unacceptable. But I know what the poster is getting at

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:26

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:23

I agree with you about the misogyny.
I profoundly disagree that all communities are equally as misogynistic. Some have more deep rooted misogynistic behaviours which are normalised and accepted.

Yes but I was told that looking at deep rooted history is not acceptable on here.

I also asked what were the levels of hatred of women - some hatred, maximum hatred etc? I was told I was wrong to suggest there are differing degrees of hatred.

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:27

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:24

"educate educate educate" deal with it the fluffy way because we're scared of dealing with it properly. doesn't work.

Absolutely agree! Hence the sarcasm in my post!

It always is the case we cannot educate girls on how not to get raped. That is victim blaming.

We cannot educate men on how not to rape women as they are not going to walk out and say shit I never knew it was wrong. They know it is wrong!

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:27

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:25

Well yes - the term gammons is racially pejorative and unacceptable. But I know what the poster is getting at

I think you have to actually listen to those rioters concerns actually (before the rioting starts) see if you can pluck any reasoning out of their anger. We can't choose not to listen to certain groups because they lack a degree and have lesser intelligence. Maybe then we won't get to the rioting stage. Unpopular opinion maybe, but there we are.

OpheliaWasntMad · 18/06/2025 14:30

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:27

I think you have to actually listen to those rioters concerns actually (before the rioting starts) see if you can pluck any reasoning out of their anger. We can't choose not to listen to certain groups because they lack a degree and have lesser intelligence. Maybe then we won't get to the rioting stage. Unpopular opinion maybe, but there we are.

I agree .
But I also agree that a minority are just thugs looking for an excuse to terrorise.
I don’t want innocent Pakistani families living in fear of the thugs .

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:38

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:27

I think you have to actually listen to those rioters concerns actually (before the rioting starts) see if you can pluck any reasoning out of their anger. We can't choose not to listen to certain groups because they lack a degree and have lesser intelligence. Maybe then we won't get to the rioting stage. Unpopular opinion maybe, but there we are.

Why would you want to listen to the views of thugs trying to set people on fire and throwing petrol bombs at the police?

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:40

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:38

Why would you want to listen to the views of thugs trying to set people on fire and throwing petrol bombs at the police?

I take it you missed the part where I said 'before the rioting occurs' it's that selective reading again. You're getting rather tiring on this thread I must say.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:46

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:40

I take it you missed the part where I said 'before the rioting occurs' it's that selective reading again. You're getting rather tiring on this thread I must say.

According to most sources they were racist thugs much like our rioters last year. Do you think that a meeting with people about to set fire to hotels and stop traffic looking for 'Asians' would be a good use of time?

Fetaface · 18/06/2025 14:53

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:46

According to most sources they were racist thugs much like our rioters last year. Do you think that a meeting with people about to set fire to hotels and stop traffic looking for 'Asians' would be a good use of time?

You and I know these people are criminals and if they are not rioting they are up to no good in some other way more than likely violence of some kind. Trying to burn people alive isn't an entry level crime. These people are violent people who likely beat their wives and kids when they are not rioting.

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 14:54

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:46

According to most sources they were racist thugs much like our rioters last year. Do you think that a meeting with people about to set fire to hotels and stop traffic looking for 'Asians' would be a good use of time?

I wouldn't want to meet with those people, before or after they rioted. But I would want to meet with the people that have similar concerns that raise them in a more acceptable way. This then should gradually take the heat out of the situation as more and more people feel that they are being listened to.

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 14:55

Likewise, I don't dismiss climate change and environmental concerns because of the reprehensible actions of extinction rebellion et al.

SquashedMallow · 18/06/2025 14:56

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:46

According to most sources they were racist thugs much like our rioters last year. Do you think that a meeting with people about to set fire to hotels and stop traffic looking for 'Asians' would be a good use of time?

Ok. I give up. No, you're absolutely right. No we shouldn't. Yes you're correct we should only concentrate on the angry voices from the ethnic minority side. It's made us excellent progress so far. We're doing really well in 2025. I won't bother adding about the fact we sympathised and listened to people that were ripping down historic statues and pretzling ourselves to understand their anger and hostility. No we'll ignore it all. We'll carry on just having things only work one way. As you rightly say : going really smoothly isn't it. And yes, I guess anyone who says otherwise is a racist gammon headed bigot. Fabulous.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/06/2025 14:57

Everanewbie · 18/06/2025 14:54

I wouldn't want to meet with those people, before or after they rioted. But I would want to meet with the people that have similar concerns that raise them in a more acceptable way. This then should gradually take the heat out of the situation as more and more people feel that they are being listened to.

It depends on what they want. It's not possible to deport all brown and black people and create a ethnostate.