New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

Most people don't stand in upstairs windows staring at the neighbours. And so what if your kids are a human body? Just tell them some people chose to be comfortable in their own space and move them along. It's a drama if you make it one. You have no right to tell someone what they can do in their own home and yes that includes their garden. Perhaps seek a therapist to find out why something that's none of your business bothers you so much.

But the distress being "I don't approve of nudity" isn't an acceptable distress

Someone just wants the last word so they can feel morally superior and "right" even when they are clearly and legally wrong

This is exhausting. Are you being deliberately obtuse???

It doesn’t matter whether the neighbour spying on him out of her upstairs window claims to be distressed. It doesn’t matter whether you deem it to be “a problem”.

What matters is whether the naked person INTENDED to cause distress.

Exhibit A)
Naked person hiding behind the bushes in the park and jumping out to wave his erect penis at passing schoolgirls - INTENDING TO CAUSE DISTRESS.

Exhibit B)
Person snoozing in the sun in their fenced, private back garden - NOT INTENDING TO CAUSE DISTRESS.

Do you never listen and learn?

It's actually quite heartening that someone is brave enough to sunbathe nude in their garden. Good for them!

I wouldn't be upset but I'd probably imagine he's the type of bloke to go on Naked Attraction.

🤷‍♀️I’m assuming you’re British so realistically how many sunny days is he really going to get to be wandering naked around his garden. I’d love to but knowing my luck the Amazon delivery guy would rock up so don’t have the nerve.

We've got a big garden and have had a fondle and more but always where I know we couldn't be overlooked. If you are going to get it all out without thinking about who can see you you are either thick or a weirdo.

The whole of OP's family!

Will posters also stop telling other posters they are weird for looking out of their own windows. My window, my view. If you are getting your bits out, bloody make sure you can't be seen.

They are weird for STARING

You see something you don't like then STOP LOOKING

It's not weird to look out of your own windows, but it's a bit weird to go and look deliberately when you've been told your neighbour is out in the garden in the nude and then to make a fuss about what you chose to look at.

Well I wouldn't keep staring and I wouldn't be repulsed. I'd just laugh, nobody needs to be naked in their garden.

I'm surprised it took so long for someone to bring this up. I thought you all only had like 10 sunny days a year so it doesn't really seem like it's going to be that big of an issue.

I'd go and look and laugh. This thread is only getting posters who think it's normal. People I know in real life would think they are odd.

I asked my DH and he said he would absolutely get naked in the garden if we weren't overlooked. If we were overlooked by a family with Children then he wouldn't.

Plenty of posters don’t think it’s normal, or at least they wouldn’t do it themselves, myself included. However, as has been explained repeatedly, it is not illegal, and OP’s neighbour is entitled to do it.

And it could (most likely) lead to the ‘distressed’ neighbour being advised to stop ‘spying on the poor bloke’ from her upstairs window and that no offence is being committed.

...and draw the curtains?

Who in all likelihood are bemused by the fuss OP is making. Her DH has told her she is being ridiculous

Nobody needs to do a lot of things they are legally allowed to do and they do day to day

No one needs to sunbathe at all - you can get all your Vitamin D by standing in the garden/gardening, going for a walk etc

No one needs to rush upstairs and look out of the windows

No one needs to watch TV, read a book, have a hobby, go out for lunch ... but life would be pretty dull and boring and unfulfilled if we only need the very basics of what we need

I didn't say it was illegal, I just think it's odd.

Big, private garden do what the hell you want. I'm no prude.

Comparing reading a book to not wearing pants is silly.

@SwimSwamSwimSwam

Comparing reading a book to not wearing pants is silly.

Except @DoctorRoseReturns didn't do that. You completely missed the point they were making.

Explain

There are probably people who think reading a book is odd.

I had a teacher who couldn't read for pleasure for more than 30 minutes at a time because when she was a child her mum would her stop reading and give her a task to do instead. She can't have thought it was normal behaviour

I think spending a portion of your lifetime watching people kick a ball around is odd (or throwing or hitting it).

What someone thinks is odd is another person's normal

Read it again