Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

[Positivegirl]

I am absolutely working as hard as I can. Because I have to pick my child up from school I am now labelled as unreliable. I work extremely hard and I see colleagues at work completely slack, turn up late and not meet deadlines. I have been labelled as unreliable because I am a working mum. I don’t have another choice but to work, I let work know it’s half term but I still go hard I work 200% while my child is in half term and never miss a meeting or deadline. I do school drop off/pick up and run back to work. I travel for away days at work I run back to get my child and run back to the desk.

it’s never enough I’m doin the best I can and it’s heartbreaking to have people who don’t have children to tell me I’m not doing enough and that I am not reliable when I know I’m performing more than others. My project manger is always late, canceling meeting last minute and not meeting deadlines for us as a team to continue working. But I am unreliable as I leave to go pick my child up (in the hour that would be my lunch break as I don’t bother having lunch)

I feel like giving up I work for me and my child to give us a good life but I’m not doing enough there. Then in motherhood I’m working to hard.

im drained to the bone with judgment from both sides from people I know could not juggle what I do as a working single mum. Im fed up

Also when I mean holiday club it’s a nursery that offers holiday bookings. I just call it holiday club

Have you read her recent updates? She has cleared this up now. The situation is resolved.

But even without this recent information logically if all other colleagues, project managers, CEO and clients are happy, the manager could have been the problem. Just because someone has authority over you does not mean they are right.

Oh Yh and I asked if my LO could join in September if LO enjoys. The original option for Pre school was because the waiting lists around where full because of the time I applied. LO ended up getting settled in and really loves the teachers there

Where has OP said that there’s no childcare for her during holidays?

She can’t afford full time childcare.And she won’t get her free hours over the school holidays either.

Op, I think if your line manager frequently goes through these phases of being unhappy but not being able to actually name the issues it’s a good idea to ask her in writing what you need to do to resolve the issues she’s experiencing and for you to agree a plan on how you move forward.

This then provides clarity and also a paper trail if she is indeed one of those managers who could find fault with you breathing incorrectly (I used to have one of those)

She’s already said that her child will be attending the preschool at their holiday club.

Yes, and my point is that they might eventually. Up to OP if she wants to risk it.

She hasn’t said for how many hours of her 40 hour working week.
Soubds like during term time her child is in nursery for 30 hours, and 15 of those are free. And she can’t afford any more…

15 hours a week is going to be tricky when she has to work 40 hours.

With all the updates from OP I don’t see the point of the thread. She fails to see that her manager is frustrated by her working from home with looking after a 2 year old. It’s not about being a working parent In a workplace where most employees are not parents, it’s about putting clear professional boundaries in place between work and looking after a child especially if you are lucky enough to work from home. You can’t do both particularly well at the same time and OP isn’t seeing this is unfair on her employer and child.

Yes, I've read the updates and the summary is that her line manager isn't happy. There's never been anything to "resolve" because the issue has only ever been that the line manager isn't happy. OP doesn't care, CEO doesn't care for now. That might change.

Or she can’t afford any more during term time bevause she knows she has to set aside money to pay during school holidays?

Some of the replies here are pretty judgemental. You have a regular routine, so you're not unreliable, and you have a child, so there's a degree of flexibility which would be expected of any employer. Are you a member of a trades union? A union rep can be very helpful in clarifying rights and responsibilities for both sides, and help you fight your corner. Citizens Advice are also good on employment matters, but as someone else commented, it's shit. Good luck!

If the manager is unhappy it is their responsibility to follow company procedure to deal with performance issues. The fact they didn't do this speaks volumes about their managerial competence and is simply another indicator that the manager could well be the problem.

Not being funny but why did you get into debt for furnishing? I would have scoured facebay, charities and the local community groups for cheap and free staff. There are so many perfectly good things people throw or get rid off in order to update. And the dad not paying, did you take him to court? You should, he should pay maintanance. Did you check the universal credit? I know there is 75% reductionnin child care costs for filly working parents, did you chack that? It seems to me you victimising yourself a lot whilst doing very litttle priactively to help your situation. You are also not listening to all posters who told you your situation is not feasible for long term. You need to be a bit more objective. I am sorry to say but you are NOT the only working parent just the only who can't find a way to make it work. Be rational, read the replies and start making a plan, starting with sitting down with your line manager and assure him that you are looking into resolving the situation. Stomping your feet and criyng poor me will not solve this, believe me!

Op why did you start the thread?

We're you looking for a well done pat on the back?

We're you looking for posters to be honest and admit that trying to do two jobs at the same time is taking the piss?
Let's face it you'd go mental if you were paying a childminder and they were neglecting the children because they were also running a side hassle.
What you are doing isn't much different except it's your job and child.

Can you not see their is a huge difference between doing school pick-up and actually caring for a toddler for huge parts of the day? Esp during holidays.

Oh god... just because she has a 'regular routine' doesn't make her not 'unreliable' 😅🙈 Her 'regular routine' involves her trying to work while looking after her 2 year old all day every day for weeks at a time during school holidays!!

This. I feel especially sorry for the poor little 2 year old.

If you have no idea why a man may be not paying child maintenance then I can only think you have been fortunate enough to not find out exactly how utterly useless the uk child maintenance service is (of havent had to try to get child support out of a man who has fucked if to another country)

Bd glad you are clueless.

Oh god it's hardly reinforcing patriarchal values to point out that you shouldn't be trying to claim you're at work (and taking money from an employer for it) while actually you're looking after your 2 year old instead 🤦🏼‍♀️ (sincerely, a staunch feminist).

If everyone is very happy with this situation then why is the OP claiming that she's being called 'unreliable' 🤦🏼‍♀️ In fact, if everyone's perfectly happy with the situation, there's no need for the OP to start this thread at all, is there? Odd...

Yes - I fully agree. When we moved into our home I got almost everything for free or for just a few quid on Facebook marketplace and local selling groups. I knew money was tight so EVERYTHING was second hand. That way I could prioritise spending money on childcare so I could keep working, rather than furnishing or on a fancy fridge-freezer etc.

And yet when OP asks her kind manager for specific feedback on what the problem is, line manager fails to supply the info 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Out of interest, how did you get various large free items from their respective places to your home?

This!!! 👏