Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

[Positivegirl]

I am absolutely working as hard as I can. Because I have to pick my child up from school I am now labelled as unreliable. I work extremely hard and I see colleagues at work completely slack, turn up late and not meet deadlines. I have been labelled as unreliable because I am a working mum. I don’t have another choice but to work, I let work know it’s half term but I still go hard I work 200% while my child is in half term and never miss a meeting or deadline. I do school drop off/pick up and run back to work. I travel for away days at work I run back to get my child and run back to the desk.

it’s never enough I’m doin the best I can and it’s heartbreaking to have people who don’t have children to tell me I’m not doing enough and that I am not reliable when I know I’m performing more than others. My project manger is always late, canceling meeting last minute and not meeting deadlines for us as a team to continue working. But I am unreliable as I leave to go pick my child up (in the hour that would be my lunch break as I don’t bother having lunch)

I feel like giving up I work for me and my child to give us a good life but I’m not doing enough there. Then in motherhood I’m working to hard.

im drained to the bone with judgment from both sides from people I know could not juggle what I do as a working single mum. Im fed up

This is the world we live in right now.
It doesn’t mean you can steal time from your employer and not be available for colleagues.
Mums who do that make it harder for other mums to get jobs.

So from mid July-early September, you're going to be able to fit a 40 hour week job while caring as a lone parent for a 2 year old, with no partner, no other parent, no family?

OP, there has to be a reason you are being labelled unreliable. What I suspect is happening is you are delivering what you think you should be delivering, but your line manager wants to get hold of you on an afternoon occasionally but cannot.

You are so right. No one is required to help me. Which is why I will do what I need to do for me and my child to have the best life.

Then you need to try and find a job fitting around the child care or look at increasing what you spend on childcare.
Have you thought about a childminder rather than nursery?

You come across as someone who wants it all and got themselves into a pickle in the process.

I just think- like many others on this thread- that you are not pulling your weight at work. What people say to your face and what they say behind your back are two different things- so if they say all is fine, it may not be. You might just be doing the bare minimum, which is ok but would be picked up in any performance review. Your line manager is onto you and you are hiding behind the CEO. You are fairly new to this role and probably still in the new girl/ honeymoon period... it won't last.

Good luck OP, I think you're going to need it.
Also, for someone who works in communications/ marketing your communication on this thread is very muddled.

The woolly way it's taken you pages to actually say you have 35hr child care. It's well suspect you are collecting at 3pm and not finishing work until 5pm, therefore loosing 10-12.5 hours of work time every week.

If it was a quick nip out collect an older child and be back at your desk within 30min it would be a PITA but manageable.
But it's not your having to entertain a 2yo. Which probably includes changing bum, sorting drinks and snacks.

I think the hard thing about this is I can’t be fully explicit so there is a lot of speculation about who I am and what I am doing.

ive had great advice from this thread

p.s there’s nothing
wrong with wanting the best life you can have. If you can have it then why not have it

I don't think OP actually has been labelled as such. She's just having a bit of a moan about juggling everything.
She says no one has any concerns about her work.

You need to read all OP's posts.

Yh it is muddled and I’m sure I’m in a higher position than you. All the best @NewShoesForSpring

What's that supposed to mean? You literally have no idea who i am or what i do!

Op that's incredibly cheeky!

FFS - the woman has said that she picked her child up DURING HER LUNCH BREAK - thd break she is LEGALLY entitled to.

Why are there a bunch of women in here bleating about her not pulling her weight? Since when did it become a crime to get in your car, go somewhere, and then return during your allotted lunch time?

You get 15 hrs free childcare so you're in England. Where are you that it's 1/2 term at the moment?

You obviously haven't followed the thread if you think that's what is happening

I’m sure if I did. It would make even more sense to why you are so pressed about the thread I have posted

Jesus, people, give the woman a break.

She's doing her best. I'm not sure what else you want from this person.

@ OP, your line manager is a dick. As you correctly state, work should be task focused. Your LM's got a problem because you're not there when they want you to be there. In other words, they want you to work around their social needs, but as you keep saying, you have your own social needs.

Honestly, sounds like you know what you're doing, building the best life you can, ignore anyone who gets in the way, they just don't understand. It's a short-term stop gap thing you're doing, pretty intense at the moment, because kiddo is little and you're trying to work your way up in the industry. Don't waste your energy on anger. They can think what they want. You know what's really going on.

Nobody has lunch at 3pm. 3pm is mid afternoon and prime meeting time.

And she's neglecting to say she's watching the 2yo onces she picks her up after nursery.

I already said I have my child after school. Plus prime meeting time in my company is morning like is said before.

You are on this thread like a hound dog. How’s your career going 🤔it’s almost like this personal to you

Not where I work.

To be fair, if you have a2 year old home with you for the rest of the afternoon then I’m with others - taking - hour lunch to pick child up is fine - but a whole afternoon isn’t ok. You need to figure out childcare for yhd while work day.

So from your posts, your line manager doesn't like it that your lunch hour is way later than everyone else's. They can't suddenly call a meeting or give you last minute stuff that someone else forgot to do. Only they can... and because you're diligent you'd do it in the evening.
They have one specific example of you forgetting that you should have been going on leave, and you actually worked part of the first day...
This is not you being unreliable.
Did you get your promotion and your line manager thinks they should have got it? A bit jealous of you?
Here's what matters:
Your actual boss is happy with your flexible working arrangements which allow for school pick-up.
You get your work done and are well-organised etc.
You manage to juggle home and work, and you and other parents in the workplace seem to have fairly equal treatment around this.
So what you need to do is:
Keep a diary of all the micro aggressions that your line manager says or writes to you.
Get union advice about what's going on. Especially the question of if he is discriminating against you under the 2010 equality act.
My solution if I was your union rep would be to look to get your line manager changed so you weren't being harassed by this person.

Oh, depending on how mad my day is, I sometimes stop for lunch at 2.30 or 3pm.
A colleague had official flexible working agreed which said they did split shift of 9-3 and then 2 hours in the evening when child in bed. If you don't have this in place, make a formal request under whichever act it is.
The important thing is getting the job done.