Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

[Positivegirl]

I am absolutely working as hard as I can. Because I have to pick my child up from school I am now labelled as unreliable. I work extremely hard and I see colleagues at work completely slack, turn up late and not meet deadlines. I have been labelled as unreliable because I am a working mum. I don’t have another choice but to work, I let work know it’s half term but I still go hard I work 200% while my child is in half term and never miss a meeting or deadline. I do school drop off/pick up and run back to work. I travel for away days at work I run back to get my child and run back to the desk.

it’s never enough I’m doin the best I can and it’s heartbreaking to have people who don’t have children to tell me I’m not doing enough and that I am not reliable when I know I’m performing more than others. My project manger is always late, canceling meeting last minute and not meeting deadlines for us as a team to continue working. But I am unreliable as I leave to go pick my child up (in the hour that would be my lunch break as I don’t bother having lunch)

I feel like giving up I work for me and my child to give us a good life but I’m not doing enough there. Then in motherhood I’m working to hard.

im drained to the bone with judgment from both sides from people I know could not juggle what I do as a working single mum. Im fed up

We both don’t have child care as it’s half term and yes once school ends we know the kids are home. I’m pretty sure I explained this before?

I’m wondering if maybe your colleague, line manager and CEO don’t have a scooby do what’s going on.
You’re not doing a very good job of explaining yourself here!

Do you have wrap around care in place?

You haven't answered about school holidays before. I'd say your CEO obviously has money to burn if he's happy to employ multiple people who are in charge of toddlers half their working hours.
That's a ridiculous set up. You can't work whilst in charge of a toddler for weeks on end. It just isn't possible.

We all worked really hard during a certain period and lots of people children/ no children for extremely burnt out and sick. So since then it’s been get the work done and if it’s done all is good and take time for yourself as long as deadlines are met they not gonna micromanage our hours or if we are online. As we trusted to just get it done

Are your employers aware that you don’t have childcare after 3pm?

This is an absolute no in many companies.

from September you will be eligible for 30 hours of funded childcare, so presumably the current issue will go away? Have you organised your 30 hours with your current provider?

if your colleagues know that you are looking after your child during your working hours, I’m sot surprised they see you as unreliable. It’s also absolutely not fair on your child.

The CEO probably hasn't a clue.
Her Line Manager is probably seeing through the waffle the way most of us are.

Yh they know this. My team there is three of us we are the most organised out of all the other teams in the organisation. No one in my team is upset with me as my work is covered.

Only my line manger is a certain way but she has management training soon as she’s never done it. So maybe she will change her style

@PurpleThistle7 how did that poor woman cope? That sounds horrific with next to no down time to herself.

What part is waffle ?

How is her training going to help when you're looking after a toddler for 6 weeks?

OP, I think you've had a lot of leeway from your line manager in the past but are now taking advantage.
There's a huge difference between being unavailable between 3 - 4 for a school pick - for a two year old - and then effectively clocking off - and school holidays where presumably you have sole care of your 2 year old all day every day, while still proclaiming to be working full time.
Your poor colleagues, having to pick up your slack.
I'm failing to see how your line manager is at fault here.

I keep being told I haven’t answered questions.

@Positivegirl I haven't seen you answer anywhere how many hours your toddler is at preschool each week? Have you answered that?

You keep talking about half term. Are you on half term now?

My circumstances have always been like this. I was even employed like this from interview I said. Nothing has changed

So you want to be paid for doing school pick up? If this is the case that is not fair to them

They are there around 35 hrs and no one picks up my slack.

I’m not asking for anyone to cover me or pay for whatever. I was more frustrated when I started this post in the fact as a mother we do so much but people will say you’re doing it wrong and not enough. When they don’t know the half of what goes in to it.

not saying it’s a employers problem or anyone else just frustrated some times

So....I ask AGAIN....what is the problem?

You seem to be grinding an axe against nothing.

You're getting your job done, no one has a problem apart from your LM.

You say "it’s been get the work done and if it’s done all is good and take time for yourself as long as deadlines are met they not gonna micromanage our hours or if we are online. As we trusted to just get it done"

Who is "they"? Who is doing the trusting?

It all sounds fine. Why are you letting a single person get to you so much?

I have asked you 4 questions, please can you answer them.

What people?
I don't think you can expect your employer to give you a pat on the back for working and being a parent.

There’s so many comments in here I’m not seeing all. It is one person I guess I’m just frustrated and that one thing from one person has got me upset kinda like the straw breaking the camels back. It’s the bigger picture of life that frustrates me from motherhood to working mum someone is gonna say your not doing it right of going hard enough. When I know I am

it’s not all dark it’s just got to me and then the comments in here 🙃

That’s not what I’m asking for…

im just saying it’s frustrating being in this stage of motherhood

''My circumstances have always been like this. I was even employed like this from interview I said. Nothing has changed''

OP, at the time of your interview your child would have been under 1 year old.
Do you not think that your line manager may have expected you to have adequate childcare arrangements in place further down the line???

The child care is what I can do. When I started I had no childcare. Now I do and this is what I can afford

You'll get 30 funded hours in September. Are you exploring additional childcare for then?

Think you are best discussing this with your CEO as you seem to think you can do childcare and work at same time, and your line manager thinks otherwise. Someone is right and someone is wrong.

Personally though.. I looked after a 2 year old during COVID and tried to work at same time. Honestly it was a nightmare. I got very behind. I tried to make up time in evening but it was exhausting. My daughter watched way too much TV. Was a bad situation all round. Don't do it! Get your DD into a full time nursery (not just term time) or reduce your hours.