Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

[Positivegirl]

I am absolutely working as hard as I can. Because I have to pick my child up from school I am now labelled as unreliable. I work extremely hard and I see colleagues at work completely slack, turn up late and not meet deadlines. I have been labelled as unreliable because I am a working mum. I don’t have another choice but to work, I let work know it’s half term but I still go hard I work 200% while my child is in half term and never miss a meeting or deadline. I do school drop off/pick up and run back to work. I travel for away days at work I run back to get my child and run back to the desk.

it’s never enough I’m doin the best I can and it’s heartbreaking to have people who don’t have children to tell me I’m not doing enough and that I am not reliable when I know I’m performing more than others. My project manger is always late, canceling meeting last minute and not meeting deadlines for us as a team to continue working. But I am unreliable as I leave to go pick my child up (in the hour that would be my lunch break as I don’t bother having lunch)

I feel like giving up I work for me and my child to give us a good life but I’m not doing enough there. Then in motherhood I’m working to hard.

im drained to the bone with judgment from both sides from people I know could not juggle what I do as a working single mum. Im fed up

I'm sorry if I've missed this/misunderstood, but are you a totally single mum with no partner and ex not involved/co-parenting@Positivegirl ?

Also if they're 2, why are they finishing so early? If you're picking up at 3pm who looks after them afterwards?

I'm a single mum with completely absent ex and I work full time mostly from home. My son goes 8.30 to 4.30pm to nursery . I drop off and my mum does most pick ups but I do some as I have some flexibility, but 3pm is so early so I get why that's a bit inconvenient if you finish then every day.

From September your child will get 30 free hours plus tax free childcare so I'd imagine they could go full time more hours.

I'm my workplace there's lots of flexibility with people doing pick ups but it's usually around 5pm with nursery age kids. Some older children are picked up earlier from school but then can supervise themselves for a few hours.

Or like thousands of others just get on with it. Work the hours we are contracted to work and don't take the piss pretending to work when spending every afternoon looking after our 2 year old.

If you are that sure of your ceo and hr support get them to put in writing that they are happy fir you to be paid a full time salary whilst looking after your child every afternoon. If that's fine then they will and there is no issue. They will tell your manager to stop harrasin g you as they are happy fir yju to get paid every afternoon whilst looking after your child. You then have it in writing and you can carry on without this worry.

Job done.

theydid tell her to back off already!

I was employed with these circumstances it’s not news to them

@summerscomingsoon im not pretending at all?

Maybe she is being chippy because people are being chippy to her. She isn't working less she just skips her lunch so she can leave early. She is still doing her contracted hours. OP has said this.

I honestly can't believe this thread. OP is a classic example of someone the government is trying to keep in work. It is exactly this scenario that has led to free hours of childcare, OP is a contributor. She is trying to remain a contributor and here, a forum overwhelmingly women has for so much criticism for doing her full job but using her lunch hour to collect her child. A situation her employer agrees to on employment, they have the responsibility to accommodate it.

It is quite obvious flexible work options is the only way to ensure parents can meet their work and family obligations.

OP your communication about this is murky. I'm finding it difficult to follow.

Do you start work at 9am and work tthrough lunch, using that hour to leave at 4pm for nursery collection?

Or do you start at 9am & work through lunch, leave at 3pm & arrive home 4pm to 'continue working' whilst also looking after your 2 year old?

Option A is not such a problem once all management are on board with this

Option B is far more of an issue & as a manager i wouldn't be happy with this as a permanent arrangement.

Can you please tell us which it is or if its none of these please outline what your average day looks like

Also, it doesn't matter a fig what way your line manager organises their time. They're more senior than you & they don't have to toe the line like you.

It looks like you are avoiding answering how many hours a week your child is in childcare?

She has said repeatedly she does do her hours.

Yes but there is ‘doing your hours’ when you’re 100/% focused and able to work and ‘doing your hours’ while simultaneously looking after a toddler. It sounds like she’s doing the latter which is why so many people think she’s taking the piss.

If you’re picking up the kid from school who is then looking after the kid when you are back at work?

But she’s not just nipping out to collect the child - she’s then the child care for after school……..you can’t work properly and care for a child properly simultaneously

I think the consensus is to quit so I’m not working and looking after my child. And instead go on UC funded by other working parents like @CantHoldMeDown

I think you're being disingenuous. And ridiculous.

Can you please answer my question about what your average working day looks like?

But that's you and many people assuming that is happening. She has said she does her hours, she has happy clients, CEO and HR are happy, most colleagues are happy it's only her LM and PM who have raised issues. So it sounds like they are the exception and everyone else is satisfied with OPs contribution.

@Positivegirl you seem to be avoiding advice/posts about UC paying childcare - up to 80% of the cost! You need to look into this - it’s an in work benefit.

I know it’s tough I’ve done it with 3 including a baby - but lots of us single parents work . It doesn’t get easier when you have to juggle school holidays either.

And I do get your point about hours - I work 30 hours Monday-Friday and if I have meetings Friday afternoon I might do a half day Weds and still do my hours and my job.

i have an all day conference this Friday so im only doing half a day tomorrow and next Thursday!

Has your employer honestly said that they are ok with you looking after a 2 year old while you work? You say you have to work after pick up? How does that work?

You mentioned that you don't have childcare in school holidays? Do you have approval from your employer that you will be working while looking after a 2 year old? Or Do you have enough annual leave to cover the whole of holidays?

My work would never allow this. They don't allow any primary school children to be at home while we are working. Only exception is sickness, but in that case we can take emergency leave etc.

You should consider either getting more childcare or reduced hours to fit with school pick ups.

Also how on earth do you cope with not eating all day?

Also I hardly ever get a lunch break so add that onto my finish time

I work very efficiently. I can complete tasks in 20 mins which some colleagues will take an hour plus to do. This is largely due to my experience. At 4:00 I go to collect my child because my work for the day is done. My colleagues may be there to 5/6. I am not going to carry on working just because others are. So I get what she means here.