Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

[Positivegirl]

I am absolutely working as hard as I can. Because I have to pick my child up from school I am now labelled as unreliable. I work extremely hard and I see colleagues at work completely slack, turn up late and not meet deadlines. I have been labelled as unreliable because I am a working mum. I don’t have another choice but to work, I let work know it’s half term but I still go hard I work 200% while my child is in half term and never miss a meeting or deadline. I do school drop off/pick up and run back to work. I travel for away days at work I run back to get my child and run back to the desk.

it’s never enough I’m doin the best I can and it’s heartbreaking to have people who don’t have children to tell me I’m not doing enough and that I am not reliable when I know I’m performing more than others. My project manger is always late, canceling meeting last minute and not meeting deadlines for us as a team to continue working. But I am unreliable as I leave to go pick my child up (in the hour that would be my lunch break as I don’t bother having lunch)

I feel like giving up I work for me and my child to give us a good life but I’m not doing enough there. Then in motherhood I’m working to hard.

im drained to the bone with judgment from both sides from people I know could not juggle what I do as a working single mum. Im fed up

No, for the amount you have to actually pay. Do you get it tax free?

That’s not the same thing. You are entitled to the free hours AND tax free childcare.

I've been there when mine were younger and it's soul destroying. It does get better as they get older.
I am a firm believer that is outcomes that matter xx

Can I be honest, maybe it's a woman thing but I see it alot, everything seems to take so long, even simple tasks which can be done in 5 minutes can take half an hour to an hour and then they complain they have to much to do and it's not even like when they do it that it's any better.

Like when my ex used to go on about how hard it was and she would need a holiday with her mother so I would take a week or 2 off work and look after the kids (3) and it was a doddle, by 10am the house would be spotless, do any washing and and plan their tea and everything else that goes with it and at the time I was in a very stressful job (still am) and then in work I hear a lady go "being a mother is the hardest job in the world" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 Ahhhhh I told her straight not to make me laugh, I do think nowadays people split up to easily and if the government wasn't there to bail out bad choices that woman wouldn't break up homes as much but the government likes it that way and you fall for it.

But she does all her hours, and never misses a meeting or a deadline. What more do you want? Why does it matter that she uses her 1h lunch break to do the school pick up, while others use it to go to the cafe? Such archaic views!

As most pre-schools are term time only, what are you doing with your child during the school holidays?

Yep, ok. Your post is completely, 100% real. Yep. Cool.

Go to the CEO and ask for a pay rise.

Like any other parent, I assume?

Please stop staying you’re unreliable, you’re clearly not.

I think you feel like your situation is precarious.

Which is a shame. I work for a company where people block out their diaries for the school drop off and picks ups.

I would look for a new job if your manage doesn’t understand.

What are your set hours? You're very vague and good at avoiding questions, I think your employer feels that too.

As most pre-schools are term time only, what are you doing with your child during the school holidays?
Like any other parent, I assume

Most 2 year olds are in a nursery or childminder covering school holidays. Most working parents of school aged DC use holiday camps & clubs, grandparents etc.

So you work 40 hours?

How many hours is your child in childcare? How long do you spend each day taking and collecting them?

@EmeraldShamrock000 what questions have I avoided. I said I work 40 hours which is an average 9-5 job ?

I think the OP means that she uses the hour break she'd have for lunch to do the nursery pick up instead - so not at lunch time, but at pick up time (assuming 5pm ish), and she works during lunch. Like a lot of us flexi workers do (plus evenings after bed times, including weekends) so we end up doing the same hours (if not more some weeks) just spread slightly differently.

Something I’m slowly learning but wish I’d learned earlier, is to be less réactive to things like this. Yes, it sucks that they think you’re less reliable but unless you’re actually being sacked or it’s stopping your progression, then care less. I’ve wasted so much time reacting to what other people think, when I could have invested that time in where I’m going instead. Let them think what they want.

This is what I do

My manager did have a family and when I tried to negotiate reducing my hours from 40 to 32 he told me that he and his wife had struggled so he didn’t see why he should make it easy for me. This was the cops. Thankfully things are better now.

So you are contracted to 40?

8 x 5 (9-5) but you then take an hour lunch break? So at minimum you need to be working 9-6 to hit 40hrs

unless you get paid lunch which is literally gold dust to see in a contract these days you are in an even worse position

To be fair, I'm in a similar situation to the OP. I do 40h a week, normal hours are 9 - 6, and my week looks like this:

• Mon - Fri : child at nursery 8.30am-5pm, so I work 9 - 4.30pm (including during lunch time)
• Mon - Sun : I do an extra 1h or 2 after bedtime

Doesn't everyone have a lunch break? Regardless of how/when they use it?

you may be getting paid for 9-5 but you are NOT working 9-5. you are picking up your 2 year old from nursery at what 12/1/2/3 pm (you've not clarified) then spend the rest of the afternoon at home looking after your 2 year old whilst claiming to work.

No wonder people get pissed off about people WFH as many are taking the piss. you are not WFH is you are looking after your 2 year old.

But you said school run and school holidays, so this isn't a 8-6 nursery but a 9-3 preschool type place? How many of your 40 working hours are you doing while also looking after a 2 year old? Presumably at least 10 hours a week then all 40 hours in school holidays?

Do you work from home while you mind your child, or return to the office after collection.
Or are you only available by phone after school finishes? Is it a hybrid job or have you made it one?
It is hard to imagine working 40 hours without childcare.