Partner spent my money and lied

[Lilly1812]

So i gave some money to my partner to keep in his savings account as he has a higher interest. I tried to open the same account but was denied. This is an inheritance given to my children by their late grandmother. I finally opened an account in their names and asked for the money back. He gave me different stories for a week. At first he said he has put some in a fixed term account so I said log in on ur app and let me see . He said no! Meanwhile he allowed me to see just a week before. This got me thinking that he has perhaps used some of the money. I asked him to tell me the truth but he insisted the money is there but he will transfer it when he's ready and he won't let me see his app either. After some back and forth and him making me very upset, he transferred some of the money. It is left with £5000. I asked him why he can't complete the transfer but he said he will do it. I persuaded him to just let me check to make sure he hasn't used it. He finally opened the app and I only saw £2000. I confronted him and he said he gave £3000 to his friend to invest in something and he should get it back by the end of the month. I'm so disappointed he lied to me for so long and also used my money without asking me. What can I do if I don't get the money back? I'm not talking to him as of now .

The absolute best case scenario is that this loser finally gives you the remaining £5k.
I can definitely guarantee that he will keep the interest as "he's earned it for his trouble"

Looks like you owe your kids that 5k.

You knew he was a pathological liar (your own words) yet you gave him your children’s’ money as a test? It’s on you, all your fault. I would work out how you are going to pay them back. Do you work? Are there any other issues going on with you? The reason I ask is this is something a sibling of mine would do and there is a reason why.

And indeed similar to what the OP has done. She is the executor and trustee for the children and has given their money away.

If this is the case and you were given the money as trustee for your kids under terms of the will then you’ve breached your duty as trustee and you are liable for this.

If you’ve inherited and decided to give part of your inheritance to your kids then there’s no issue so far as trustee duty of care, but it’s sickening that he’s done this.

Its also true that unless you have a written agreement there no evidence for small claims court. Morally he should repay it but he doesn’t seem willing. If I were you I’d be wondering what else he was screwing me over on behind my back.

Tell him it all needs to be back before the end of the week or he's out. Your mental health will vastly improve without him dragging you down when you aren't in a relationship with him. . Then seek police advice about the money.
You have given birth and are raising dc I'm guessing without much help from him? You can kick ass and get your life in order more than fine without him.
Contact cms and get some money that way also.

Call the police and stop letting him screw you around.

So is this your husband you’ve previously posted about or another newer partner?

If anything happens to you then he WON’T take care of you

He can’t even take care of you under normal circumstances, what do you think is going to happen if that changes?

Get rid and take him to small claims. He’s an arsehole and he is not going to get any better

That was my calculation too. 5k lost for a potential £25 benefit and it looks like OP is getting none of the interest even if she gets the remaining money back.

Thank you all for your replies. I'm in a better mood now I've poured my heart out. I will try and get him to send the remained to the kids account. 😊

This doesn’t really add up as there are loads of widely available savings accounts that pay well above 2% - a quick search on any money website would have stopped you getting into this position for the sake of a few quid in interest

Why are you putting this man above your kids! You need to listen to what your heart/brain/family are telling you.

on the surface it’s not crazy to give your partner the money (I would trust my husband for example), but the more you have explained the more it was obvious that this was an error from the start.

you will continue to let him abuse you and let him break you further down.

you need to step up if not for yourself but for your children.

you need to follow through with threats of reporting him and actually leaving. Who cares if you ‘have no one else’ he isn’t worth being the person ‘you have’, and you do have other people; your siblings AND your children - put your kids first!!!

My god op read this one sentence back to yourself and then think about what you did and make it make sense! You acknowledge this is an issue, you need help to detach yourself from him. Also your losing your family in the process because of this man, you've said your siblings relationship with you is affected because of him. What are you doing and why? Please seek help via counselling or something once you've clawed this money back, it isn't OK nor normal for you to accept this.

So you do have family for support if you want to leave this poor excuse for a human?
He’s an untrustworthy deadbeat and your kids deserve better. Do it fir your kids, not for you.

He’s right. It’s not kindness. It IS weakness

But you know that really, don’t you? In the kindest way possible, you need counselling (alone, not with him) to work on becoming strong enough to toss this absolute loser out

Same guy

Because how’s he going to prove it?

And, fine, let’s say unbelievably say the police give a shit. Lovely! Let’s have all the dirty laundry out, shall we?

No I don't. That's the reason why I've been stuck in this for too long

You can buy premium bonds for your children, up to £50,000 I believe. It’s an excellent alternative to a savings account, backed by the Treasury so perfectly safe, and the average winnings work out better than most savings accounts.

I would do this with whatever you manage to get back from your thieving boyfriend. And as soon as you’ve got back as much as you can, I’d dump him.

And what are you going to do about him?
Come on! You can’t surely think that you’re bringing up children in a healthy environment? They will think that the way he treats you and them is the right way to treat and be treated and the cycle continues to the next generation

Where do you buy those please?

I think you may find that you do if you leave him.
Your siblings are probably at the end of their tether with you staying with what they think is a deadbeat.

I was just going to write that. Why on earth are people blaming her - he is the liar, he is the thief and he is the person dictating when she can have access/see the account. He is lower than a snake's belly and needs prosecuting for theft and financial abuse. To the person who said she has done the same to her children as he has done to her - terrible thing to say. She did not lend the money to him or anyone else - she thought she was investing it safely in a higher rate interest account, she did not spend any of the money on herself. Please have a word with yourself. Awful accusation.

Either online or at the post office

Thank u