Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

In my experience, it is hardly ever attractive, secure, confident people who make cruel jibes about someones appearance, male or female.

To do it at a wedding is beyond the pale.

He's a prize wanker. Size 14-16 is beautiful curvaceous and femine. Is he one of those who thinks any one over a size 0 is morbidly obese. It's no wonder lots of women struggle with low self esteem. Id love to see him is he so fit and perfect, does he stop traffic and make women go weak and the knees with his dazzling beauty, didn't think so.
In one way I hope her friend does tell her and her DH he needs pulling up and made to realise that he can't just say what he pleases. In another way id rather she never finds out as it could destroy her, believe me words hurt!.

What a fucking asinine remark to make about a bride walking down the aisle. Your husband is king of the dumbasses. I'd be ashamed to be associated with someone who would talk shit about and body shame a bride walking down the aisle.

So because your partner's MIL said you are too thin, that gave you license to giggle and make nasty comments about bigger women?

Are you 12? Grow up.

Wow what a nasty comment to make as the bride walks past you on her special day. Your husband was way out of order.

Body shaming a woman, someone he calls a friend loves enough to marry on her wedding day isn't minor.

Not even slightly.

There are only a couple of posters who said LTB, the vast majority of people just think he's a disgusting dickhead. He's probably miserable and pissing on the happy couple's chips.

Your husband is an utter tosser. Fancy making any comment, other than a compliment, about the bride as she walks down the aisle. I'm glad she didn't hear. I'm surprised about your lack of reaction tbh, I would be livid if my DH passed comment about someone's size, let alone on their wedding day FFS.

No I wouldn’t say anything it will make it worse!

I had an eating disorder for about twenty years and I am a feminist and I still think it’s okay to make stupid jokes to my partner. I also think the current trend for saying being overweight is fine and normal is awful but I probably do still have a bit of fat phobia. Also to point out I am now much bigger than I was after having a baby. But a joke is a fucking joke if you aren’t saying it to the person and they never find out who cares.

Jeez, I hope that you don’t have any kids if he thinks it’s okay to say things like that. Obviously he can’t help what he thought (unkind though it is), but to say it aloud at her wedding? Does he often struggle with impulse control?

But yes, saying anything to his mate is just going to make it worse- unless his mate is as bad as him (and so the type to think it funny) as an apology won’t really cut it . He’ll just have to hope that guest that overheard considers the brides feelings to be more important and never tells them. I certainly wouldn’t. And hopefully for your sake, your DH learns in future to keep such “wit” to himself!

That’s really horrible of him

I hope the groom hears and tears your husband a new one. That's so fucking low. Actually, I would be so embarrassed being married to him.

Good on her friend for telling him what he is.

Are you not horrified he said it? I would be mortified but you seem so blasé

Likewise, I can't imagine my dh saying something like this. Make comments about someone's physical appearance. (And at size 14 I doubt anyone would even think it).

No amount of apologising is going to make any difference to what people think of him now. He will forever remain an unfunny twat with a base level of humour.

She was 14/16 and a comment was made

jeez. Your dh is a prick. And I never say that !!

that is slim /normal

But even if the bride was say size 20/26 so obese on bmi - it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter what size she was and a comment made about her size

it was her wedding day and special to the couple and they thought you and dh were their friends

not back stabbing twats !!

You do not do that to a bride. He is a complete dick.

I was once at a wedding and I thought the bride's dress was hideous. Do you think I said anything? Of course I didn't.

Why so coy by calling them 'stupid jokes'? Why not call them 'fat jokes'?

Again, nothing justifies making fun of overweight people - not being called too thin, not a prior eating disorder, nothing.

It's interesting that you see this as a "minor misdemeanour". For me, minor misdemeanours are things like forgetting to put the dishwasher on, or arriving late when we've agreed to meet at a certain time etc.

A really unkind and potentially incredibly hurtful misogynistic comment on someone's wedding day wouldn't fall into the category of "minor dismeanour" to me, because it gets right to the heart of who someone is. I just can't imagine my DH ever saying anything like that... he hasn't got that kind of nasty streak in him.

I would be more concerned that it will get back to the bride. Forever tainting her wedding day just so he can try get a cheap laugh.
What a waste of space.

The cruellest comments I have ever read, let alone heard, about brides (and bridesmaids) were from other women, not men...

You can find such comments on this very forum!

It was a joke not intended for anyone else and being fat isnt a protected characteristic

You both sound awful, tbh.

Gosh MN is full of a bunch of saints…

Ive never met a more non-judgmental, never say a bad or funny word about anyone before bunch of people.

You must all be going to heaven.

Why would you have giggled?

Why is a fat woman funny?

It really isn't difficult to not make fun of someone, especially on their wedding day.

It doesn't make someone a saint, we're talking about something incredibly basic.