Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

No one is skinny shaming anyone on this thread or saying that any size is the RIGHT size. To be honest I don’t believe you are one bit worried about people relying “so much” on jabs.

In terms of health, then yes being fat is unhealthy. So some people might argue, HCP for example that losing weight and being slimmer is better. I wouldnt call HCP judgemental arseholes, it is their job to give advice.

You literally said 'you would be better if you lost weight'. There's no hidden subtext in there, just your opinion that thin people are better than fat people.
It doesn't affect me that you hate fat people because I know that you being thinner than me doesn't make you better than me. Sometimes it's helpful to see people's prejudices laid bare like this, like when men on Twitter don't hide their misogyny any more and women know exactly what they think of us.

Well I’m a size 8-10, for many years a 6, so not sure why I’d have a chip about it.

Im just capable of understanding other people’s struggles without feeling I need to take the cheap opportunity of being unkind.

I wouldn't either, if you look at what I've written. A medical professional saying if you lost weight you would likely be healthier is very different to saying 'you would be better if you lost weight'.
I would say that the latter comment is up there with 'joking' that a size 14 bride is so enormous she's lucky to fit down the aisle. It's all just nastiness.

I just know your other half is an absolute ogre to look at, yet STILL he has the audacity. On her wedding day, no less!

It's like when women get abused on Instagram/Tik Tok and they put a video together of all the profile photos calling them fat/ugly/a slag etc. Always and without fail the men doing it are absolute munters.

The. Audacity.

It was probably your comment: Oh dear. What will all the nasty bitter types have to criticise?

Would hardly say the comment you made was kind? Maybe practice what you breach instead of making cheap unkind comments yourself?

Well op said 14/16. So there is a difference. But yes i agree it was nasty, a stupid comment made by a stupid man. But we live in a world that judges, is it fair? No. But that is the world we live in.

Why the obsession with other people's weight anyway? What does it matter if someone else is or isn't overweight? People are so fucking weird obsessing over and commenting on the weight of strangers.

Because I was talking specifically about the use of the word fat. The push to reclaim the word as neutral is being led by plus size influencers. That was the context, not body positivity as a whole.

I suspect your husband thought he was being witty. But it's pretty inappropriate and really sad if the Bride or Groom finds out. Don't say anything, most of their friends wouldn't want to upset them, so will probably stay quiet too.

Well it takes on a different complexion when you see it as defence of people who were attacked first.

If it’s defensible as “factual” to call ” fat” then its “ factual” to call people nasty - but somehow it never seems to work that way does it.

People do get abuse for their bodies, fat or thin. I haven't seen anyone on this thread question or deny that, so it seems like a weird thing to bring up. If the OP's dickhead husband had made some horrible comment about her being too thin as she walked down the aisle, that would be just as shitty and posters would be just as horrified - it's so disgusting to make a negative comment about the bride's looks as she walks past! It seems odd to me that some of the posts are saying 'oh yes of course he shouldn't have said it but she IS fat though and why can't we say fat people are fat?' It sounds like an attempt to justify or minimise his behaviour because well, she is a size 14-16 so therefore it's somehow inevitable that some prick can't keep his mouth shut?!

Or else it's just an eagerness to announce that size 14-16 is fat which again, i just don't see how that's relevant to the thread.

And by your comments you attacked first....so chip on the shoulder comment seems to fit perfectly.

Well, women in the overweight category post-menopause live longer than those in the healthy weight category. There can sometimes be a protective element to being overweight apparently.

The insane people who think it's terrible behaviour to mock the bride for being fat at her wedding?

“And in this case her size is totally normal”.

No it’s not - it’s overweight.

Nope. The “ well the bride is fat” brigade started it first.

Size 14/16 is hardly massive. I was imagining a bride who is size 24/26.

Size 14/16 is bloody slim by today’s standards! What a vain man

I would have thought she was really big given his comment (though obviously not justified in saying it whatever size she is!). But at size 14/16 she is either below or on the UK average. I guess the husband makes comments on all women who don’t meet his specific ideals.

It’s not all about you. You sound just as bad.

14-16 is hardly big. You and your h deserve each other.

14/16 isn’t even plus size.

This is the sort of comment that - if it gets back to the bride - could affect her self esteem for years.

I wouldn't say anything to your DH's friend or the bride and if it does get back to them, try and play it off as a misunderstanding to save her feelings.

Was she wearing a particularly voluminous wedding gown? Could you say that your husband was referring to the size of the dress and that's why it's good the aisle is wide?

I wouldn't usually condone lying, but in this case... sometimes it's better to just keep things to yourself.

Well it certainly doesn’t require modification of church aisles.

His comment was patently uncalled for other than he saw it as an opportunity to pass judgment.