Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

Of course its big!

Your husband was an idiot. No need to mention her size at all. Does he make comments on women’s appearances regularly? I suspect the bride will find out and your husband will need to answer to that. I should also say I do think a size 14/16 is big, I’m tiny in height and so I would look huge if I was this size. I’m not rude enough to mention anyone else’s weight especially of that person was a bride on her wedding day.

I would say since the 80s. Sizes 16 may be the average size but all that means that as a country we have gotten fatter compared to the previous decades etc 90s, 80, 70s. We are living in an obesity crisis and it’s only going to get worse.

Leave DH to face the music. Stay out of it. Really was inappropriate OP. It was his friend’s wife to be too. See no reason for you to be taken down by your husband’s poor form.

Its unlikely a friend will feedback the nasty comment to avoid upset. The friend has dealt with it on her behalf. Let sleeping dogs lie. Hopefully your husband will keep his thoughts to himself in future

It depends on height, but yes I would say size 16 is fat/bordering on obese. Better to use BMI as a measuring tool that clothing size.

Do you think? I don't think it will get worse now we have the injections. We seem to be on the cusp of curing obesity.

He probably had a couple welcome drinks or is like my dad and cant whisper cos his hearing isn’t great, also to the person who used the word cretin that is significantly more offensive than what the DH said!!!!

But not so big that a size 16 person would require an extra wide aisle! Someone who wears a size 16 will be able to sit in normal chairs, won't need a seat belt extender on an airplane - it's not a size that would require any special accommodation. Not that it would warrant his comment anyway! But it highlights how miserable and spiteful a thing it was for him to say.

Oh dear. What will all the nasty bitter types have to criticise?

So you don't like ableist slurs but think it's totally fine to make cruel comments about people's bodies in the pool on holiday? I think once you've opened the doors to mocking and insulting people based on their bodies you can't claim a great deal of moral superiority over other people expressing offensive views and using derogatory language.

@Kuretake At the minute yes, in terms of the injections they do help however you need to change your lifestyle not just reduce what you eat, but they are very benefical to people who use them. Not everyone can access them due to the cost and you have to be over 18, so it's not going to tackle childhood obesity. I suspect the price will eventually go down after time but least people are doing something about their weight. People take medication for all sorts of things so why not weight?

He's a twat to have made this nasty, unnecessary comment. His discomfort now is the consequence. Let him stew on it and don't advise him or help him out.

This. And maybe he should have considered not saying it in the first place if he clearly seems to be aware it would hurt someone’s feelings as now wants to apologise 🤨🙄 He is only concerned now as it will make him look bad it seems….

In this situation, I would not be saying anything if it is not mentioned as would not want to potentially ruin the bride / groom’s memory of the day if they weren’t aware (and would like to hope a friend would protect their friend by not sharing this but having a quiet word instead) but if it is brought up the he has got a massive genuine apology to make and a heck of grovelling and making up to do and must be prepared to face the fall out if people want to distance themselves.

Just enlighten me… how would someone who has more gravitational pull like to be described if it’s not as fat?

Why the need to comment on someone’s physical appearance in the first place?
Do you really need another word for fat just so you can continue to make rude personal remarks?

Do you mean as they walk down the aisle at their wedding? I'd say they'd rather you didn't comment on their body at all.

Children in the US are being prescribed GLP-1s so it may be an option to tackle childhood obesity here at some point. The injections are also being rolled out on the NHS over a 12 year period so will be available to most people if that goes ahead as planned.

Their name?

Must make you wonder what twatface says about you behind your back.

Im not against them - I think it's a great step forward in medicine.

I suspect that might be the case here then in a few years, my practice already does the injections, it's just the waiting times are really high for patients. However, we do have patients that dont change their lifestyle and think of it as a quick fix despite having that information

It’s completely different!!!! Totally totally different. A quiet joke between partners about someone’s appearance is not the same as laughing at someone with special needs or a disability fucking hell!

hopefully when everybody is back to a normal healthy weight, people won't scream "fat shamer", will lose the chip on their shoulder and will stop calling people "nasty bitter people" for stating the obvious.

Being overweight means you are fat. Not sure why people manage to fight the so blatantly obvious here.

Well when you're sneering at people in the pool you have no idea if any of them are disabled. If they suffer from eating disorders, have PCOS, if they're taking steroids for a health condition that cause weight gain - you don't know if you're being disablist when you mock and insult those people's bodies.