Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

Its not "saintly" to not criticise the bride's appearance, it's just standard respect towards anyone that has invited you to join them at a big event in their life.

I don't understand why posters are reaching so hard to defend it.

Maybe because they do the same.

Does that count for everything? Peoples colour? Their disability? Is it ok if it's just you two sniveling cretins joking in private?

So you’ve lost me. The DH said something about the aisle being wide and you say ‘fat fuck’

Whilst I will openly admit that I may have judged another persons appearance I can honestly say hand on my heart that those words have never crossed my lips or run through my mind.

I think you need to have a look at yourself. This seems to have brought out the ugly in you!

Have you made audible comments about the bride's appearance at a wedding, criticising what she looks like?

That was in reply to Emonade

I'm sure she will tell many people about it as its a proper dickish thing to do.

Nope. Maybe you need to look at your reading and comprehension skills. Literally everyone here gets it.

He obviously said it loud enough to heard by other people in a setting that was not private but actually full of the bride's family and friends. Honestly, I'm surprised that you haven't said that the bride's friend was in the wrong for hearing/listening to what he said such are the contortions that people on this thread are performing to excuse OP's DH's rude behaviour.

Yada yada yada - point proven

Fucking hell. Imagine being the kind of person who wants to belittle a bride on her wedding day. And his friend’s one at that. I genuinely would leave any partner that was such a nasty fucker

Sadly I have discovered that some people just absolutely love to hate fat people. It gives them a real kick.

I am mainly around a size 8-10. I was briefly around a size 2-4 when I was anorexic and was horrified how I was showered with compliments from some people.

I had to have a heavy dose of steroids a few years back and gained so much weight I was unrecognisable. I had a huge swollen face and was around a size 16-18 (and looked even bigger due to swollen face) . It was an absolutely eye opening experience. People were quite happy to yell "fat cunt" at me just because I was walking down the street. People looked at me and sneered. Or ignored me.

As soon as i stopped the steroid and the steroid weight came off I stopped getting abuse in the streets.

People making nasty comments about fat people on Mumsnet or at weddings or behind people's backs are no better than the coarse and nasty people who yelled at me and called me a fat cunt while I batted with the side effects of medication for a life threatening condition. They all belong in the swamp.

My father chatted shit to me all the way through his ex-wife's (AKA my mother) funeral about the state of other mourners. Fancy that, people you haven't seen since 1987 were not cryogenically preserved in a state of suspended animation in the intervening 30 years!

Your husband deserves to sweat.

I might not LTB but it would certainly shake my respect and faith in him

Would be extremely disappointing...

Your husband is a very unkind nasty man. Misogynistic. I'd be embarrassed to be with him.

I don’t see why this is your problem, your DH is a twat and needs to own this situation.

If it helps OP, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would tell the groom. I'd obviously not tell the bride, and I'm sure her husband wouldn't either. But there's no way I'd not set the groom straight about what a nasty piece of work he was friends with. I think its right that your husband's sweating a bit. He probably has good cause.

I feel sorry for you OP, I bet your marriage can be very hard work. You can’t control what he says, that’s on him. Please have a think about this marriage, unless it’s a complete one off and he lost his marbles for a moment then he’s not a nice person. Her friend sounds an absolute diamond tackling it head on- very loyal and it might give your husband a well deserved wake up call. She’s confronted him to his face, I doubt very much she’s going to feel any need to report back. If she says anything it’ll be ‘I don’t like that man, I’d stop associating with him if I were you, he’s a dick and not a friend’ and leave it at that. Tell him to not stir a hornet’s nest by apologizing, he’s going to make the situation even worse and might risk that comment going back to the bride.

You’re coming across very poorly, I’m afraid to say. Is that on purpose? You having a bad day or something?

And of course someone would be upset if they overheard a member of their congregation make a fat joke as they walked down the aisle. That’s not ‘life’, Jesus Christ. 🤨

I want to salute the friend who called him out!

Exactly. He sounds like a nasty piece of work. I'd be ashamed to be married to him.

I wouldn’t say anything as he may not know, it’s likely the brides friend absolutely does not want the bride to know so therefore won’t tell him as it could get back to her and would ruin her day.

i have to agree with others though that this is a really horrible impression of your DH . What an awful thing to say on someone’s wedding day. What an awful thing to say in general actually , but to say it at a time when that bride probably felt so beautiful - as she should.

The bride's friend will probably tell the groom or at least some others. This won't stay hidden.

And the friend and others will know that OP's husband is that guy who can't to be invited to special occasions because he behaves awfully.

Sorry, OP, you can't take this guy anywhere.

Obviously it's a matter of opinion, but I'd prefer to be fat than a total cunt. Crazy, eh?

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