Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

Really??

I struggle to even see what is funny.

It was her wedding day.

I’m not too lofty to laugh at a bit of toilet humour but a “joke” like this based on belittling someone who has doubtlessly tried their best to look lovely that day I really don’t see the humour in.

Yikes. 14/16 isn’t even notably big. Does he like woman or just ones that he’s sexually attracted to?

Im glad he’s squirming but no, don’t say anything. There’s no way the friend would repeat it to upset the bride. There’s nothing to gain from bringing this back up apart from devastating the bride.

I bet he’s a picture himself.

It’s never the good looking, well-built guys who make these derisory comments I notice.

Probably because they aren’t insecure and bitter enough to get a kick out of being unkind …

OP's husband negged the bride at one of the most significant moments of her life. He was insulting the bride to make himself feel like a big man and he got caught.

It probably will get back to his friend who will be a friend no more. Who talks shit about a friend's wife on their wedding day? Not a friend.

All the "aren't we allowed to even THINK anything now" woke-has-gone-too-far'ers are also missing the point that it's not just a dick thing to SAY OUTLOUD anyway, let alone about a bride on her wedding day.

It would be an unnecessary and unpleasant thing to say even if he was just a passer by who saw her going into the church but
a) her groom is his friend, it's pretty reasonable to expect someone you like enough to invite to your wedding to wish you well and be happy for you, not sit there mocking your wife to be

b) he is their guest, the woman he is insulting (or/and her family) are probably paying for his meal etc. Again just absolute basic manners to not insult your hosts while in the middle of the event they're hosting and have been nice enough to invite you to!

I was a size 16 bride and extremely self conscious walking down the aisle. If I had over heard someone I didn't know well saying that, i would think they were a real asshole and not want much to do with them. But I wouldn't be shocked and devastated, ffs. Fat people are fat, not blind. If a size 16 wedding dress fits them correctly then they know they are a bigger bride. And unless they are seriously delusional they know other people aren't blind either.

WTAF! You seriously believe that if a bride heard one of their invited guests make a cruel and mocking comment about her weight as she walked down the aisle, most of them would be fine with it and only brides with extremely fragile self-esteem would be bothered?

I think pretty much all brides in that situation would be really upset. Upset about the comment and upset that someone who is close enough either to the bride or her husband to be invited to their wedding could say something so cruel and thoughtless.

Oh bc see I read the thread and thought her husband was many things but funny wasn’t one of the adjectives that came to mind. More like a douchebag of epic proportions but different strokes and all that

What does that mean?
If only I could read, I’d have appreciated the wit and erudition of your post?

He's saying a size 14 woman needs an extra wide aisle! I thought the bride might have been a size 20 plus for someone to come out with this and even then it's fucking disgusting, especially on her wedding day.

Your husband is an arsehole. I suggest you never get 'fat' or even remotely plump, because you will know exactly what he thinks of you if you do. How repugnant.

Quite a nasty piece of work to slag off any host who has invited him to an event, never mind a bride walking down the aisle.

Well yes, awful humans tend to see no issue with others being awful humans.

The husband in this scenario is indeed, as an early PP said, an arsehole and it's interesting that he felt so comfortable making this comment to you OP.

I take it he is a Keanu Reeves lookalike or else he should have kept his mouth shut
No I'm wrong Keanu would never be that rude and nasty.

Exactly. There wasn’t even wit involved.

Absolutely mortifying for you to be married to such a colossal dickhead.

The bride in this case isn't very fat at size 14/16. I think mentioning a bride's size as she walks down the aisle in earshot of her friends and family is rude and unpleasant. OP's DH didn't have to pretend that fat people are thin. He just had to keep his mouth shut.

Agree, save for the fact that some women like to hear their blokes slagging other women off. They find it self affirming because what it says to them is that whilst their bloke is a nasty negging prick to other women, the fact that he is marginally nicer to them (at least to their faces) means that they are worth something. Lord only knows the headfuckery which goes into getting someone into this state of mind.

I'm fat myself and don't mind a fat joke and have definitely made mean comments about others in my lifetime, but slagging off a bride's looks as she walks down the isle is really beyond any realms of normal behaviour for the vast majority of humans.

I agree that the precise moment he chose to make the joke was the most mind-boggling tone-deaf and inconsiderate misread of the room.

I remember walking down the aisle, and there aren’t many moments in your where a series of steps seems so symbolic and meaningful.

You also feel quite vulnerable.

To think of some idiot guffawing under his breath such an inappropriate and personal comment is pretty appalling. Honestly, he doesn’t seem the sort you could take anywhere - except perhaps a rowdy night down the pub, and even then only once everyone had had a few. Most four year olds would end up with disgusted looks cast in their direction for a comment like that at that moment. But a grown man - and a guest no less - defies belief.

You'd giggle at someone making a mean joke about the bride as she walks down the aisle? Honestly, what's wrong with you?

You'd be well within your rights to be shocked and devastated that someone you invited to your wedding thought so little of you that they'd say it as you walked down the aisle though!

what size is the groom?
Is his BMI perfect?

Someone who's a size 14 is not very fat ffs. The only acceptable thing to say about a bride as she walks down the aisle is 'she looks beautiful'.

What a horrible thing to say.