Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

I’m sure you’re all not saints on here and have said things that you shouldn’t have for a cheap laugh or whatever! - about a bride while she's actually walking down the aisle @thismummyslife? I would guess most people haven't and wouldn't do that!

It's just common courtesy. Treat people as you'd like to be treated. If you don't want someone pointing and laughing at your big nose, frizz, shapeless legs or pasty skin, then don't do it to others.

God that’s mean. @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius was sharing her experience to illustrate how comments like this can have a lasting impact on some (not all) people. This is a very valid point. Having your own mental health problems doesn’t give you leave to try to shut her down.

You can call yourself what you like, but any woman who 'giggles' at a man making jokes about another woman's appearance hasn't really engaged with feminism. You are 'giggling' with men about other women because you enjoy the feeling that men think you're a woman attractive enough snd hence good enough, to laugh with, rather than to laugh at. This is because men's opinion of you matters more than defending other women from men's insults.

What an awful, awful thing to do. I’d be so ashamed if I was you OP, I’m sorry.

Well said.

Her mental health problems don’t mean I have to agree with her though or invalidate my opinion. I wasn’t the one who brought mental health into it!

God, every word of that was absolute nonsense.

Enjoy your marriage to your sizeist, misogynistic, rude husband then I guess.
I don't think anyone is suggesting you LTB because he made one, vile, comment, but because of what it reveals about him. He was invited there to celebrate his friend's wedding and instead of being happy for his friend his brain went with wow look at that (not actually remotely) fat lump he's stuck with, gross. And then, because he's clearly desperately lacking both intelligence and social skills, he took that thought to his mouth.
It reveals something deeply, deeply unpleasant about him and that's why it would be game over for me, same as if he'd said something racist or ableist about the bride.
Obviously the friend won't say anything to the bride because, unlike your husband, most people don't want to actively try to upset a bride on her wedding day!

That was rude! Can you read?

No they don't. Not the decent ones, anyway.

He shouldn’t say anything to his friend. He absolutely should feel terrible that he made such a mean comment on someone’s wedding day. How vile of him.

A 14/16!!!?

Doesn’t take much to trigger him does it.

I highly doubt the friend will pass it on because most people don’t actually enjoy causing upset.

But if she does, he deserves what’s coming. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not sure why you’re so bothered tbh. You’ve been there weight-wise and time has a habit of moving people back towards their largest, so it might come to benefit you if he is given a chance to think long and hard about the value of superficial nasty comments.

It wasnt a nice comment and he should keep his mouth shut next time in public but i doubt it would get back to his friend.
He just needs to be more mindful next time

I don't think most people on here have tried to get a cheap laugh about a bride on her wedding day with the hilarious joke that she's so big, (when she isn't) she can barely fit down the aisle. Haha, look at the big fat fattie, who's guest I am and who's big day I'm here to celebrate. Faaaaaaat, lol!

Hopefully the friend won't spoil the bride and groom's day by repeating it.
I hope your husband has learnt a valuable lesson.

I can read, also thought it was nonsense.

If he was genuinely mortified and sorry, he'd be worrying about the bride finding out, not the groom.

Also as a PP said, I would bet most on here (or anywhere) haven't tried to get a cheap laugh at a brides expense while she's literally walking down the aisle.

Is your opinion that, because you coped with being bullied about your appearance at school, everyone should be able to cope with that, @Ratisshortforratthew?

I am glad that being bullied about your appearance did not affect you or damage you - that is brilliant. The only point I was trying to make is that not everyone is as resilient or lucky as you, and some of us have ended up with very low self esteem because of bullying, and would be very hurt by a nasty comment about our appearance.

I mean tbh it sounds like it's affected her a bit, not many people are this spiteful and lack such care for the feelings of others.

Oh my goodness, what a disgusting man. How cruel can you be to ridicule a person's appearance on their actual wedding? A day that the couple have generously paid for you to enjoy and share with them. Not only is he cruel, he is stupid to say this out loud in a group full of the bride's family and friends. The friend will not say anything as she won't want to taint her friend's beautiful memories of her special day by being called fat by your oaf of a husband. OP think about the sort of person he is. He must have thought the same about you when you were a similar size.

For God's sake do nothing. What kind of horrible mate would say 'someone said your wife is fat'. And can you imagine if dh gets to the groom first 'I'm sorry I said your wife is fat' and the groom doesn't know what he is talking about. Let it go. I'm glad the brides friend pulled him up on it, he'll think twice next time.

I’m actually a bit impressed by the friend of the bride. She’s the sort we all need.

Because of that, I doubt she’ll say anything to cause upset unless, down the line, something comes up between DH and his mate and the friend thinks he needs filling in on the full picture of your dh.

So if he plays his cards right it will likely never surface.

I would also have giggled. Unkind yes but I still believe everyone on here has made a joke about someone's weight, height, voice, clothes, clumsiness etc at dome point.

But have they done it out loud, on someone's wedding day? Apart from anything else a man being so bitchy and classless would make me cringe.

You'd have giggled? Giggled, really, are you 10 years old?

Oh and you make fat jokes. Why?

You're mean and pathetic.