Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

The stupidity of making a comment like that in that setting, with what many people count as the best day of their life or at least a very important occasion, is baffling. Imagine if the bride herself had heard this, it would have ruined my whole day if I was her.
Good on her mate. I'd be really pissed off if I was you.

I can quite honestly say I've never been to a wedding where I've had a bitchy thought about the people hosting it and sharing their day with me. Particularly not if that thought was "that bride is fat"

Is it though really

That's definitely a good friend there.

Imagine saying that about someone he calls a friend is marrying. He's no friend.

Bravo to you and your pure mind then I guess

There's also a lot of internalised misogyny in the OP post.

She doesn't think it's okay from women to be any size just because. She thinks it's okay because men fancied her. Says a lot about her self esteem and how she views herself through the male gaze.

Yes!!! Sense at last

Being disabled is, though, and many people are fat due to disabilities. No one knows the reasons why someone is fat, so it's best just to not be a vile person, surely?

The ltb comments are ridiculous. He will now have learned not to say what he thinks.
it feels like our world is very weird….we all want to be a certain size and look..we would all be a lot happier if that wasn’t the case. I haven’t read the ft but I doubt your husband is horrible…just thoughtless.

Yeah, just not your husband. He’s have been whispering about how fat you were behind your back. Good thing you lost the weight so he’d marry you.

This misses the point that again, until recently the OP was the same size as the bride, that the DH was referencing needing a wide aisle to get down.

Audience is everything, indeed.

I mean come on. You should’ve heard some
of the things we said when we were in the swimming pool at haven cos goodness me I couldn’t believe how fat people are nowadays

Christ the people saying if they were the bride and overheard it would ruin the whole day and devastate them, is your self esteem really that fragile? He should’ve kept it to himself but you do realise people are probably thinking judgemental things about you every day? Yes, even friends! It’s human nature. I simply don’t believe anyone who says they’ve never had a thought like this.

To be fair you said you had an eating disorder for 20 years and your mother was always making fat jibes about herself..so perhaps you aren’t the best judge on whether this is normal or acceptable behaviour. No offence.

You're acting as though that's something to be proud of. I can't imagine going on holiday and spending my time sniggering behind my hand at people, I have better things to do.

You learn ''if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'' as a child.

I don't think those comments are ridiculous at all.

We don’t all want to be a certain size and look though. Which is just as well as that’s impossible.

How, in the name of all that is holy, is size 14-16 worthy of a 'wide aisle'? It is average, surely? On the lighter side of average, even!

Fair dos

Not RTFT, but I thought of Thumper’s advice to Bambi: “ if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”.

”Misdemeanour” says it all really.

You are married to a nasty prick. But the fact he felt comfortable enough saying this to you shows you condone it.

I would be embarrassed to be married to such a man and I hope the friend and his wife do find out. Embarrassing. What does he hope apologising will achieve anyway? This man would never be invited in my house again if I was the bride.

Yes. Yes, it really is.

You think not ripping a bride to shreds as she walks down the aisle on her wedding day is having a pure mind? Weird take.

I just don’t believe you’ve never had a judgemental or bitchy thought about a friend. Personally I’ve never seen a wedding dress I thought was nice/not ridiculous, so my thoughts are usually worse than OP’s husband.

What a nasty thing to say on a brides big day.

I wonder what he's like when you're not there?