Husband commented on Bride’s size and her friend overheard

[PollTravels]

As above really. Wedding on Saturday - DH’s mate. We don’t really know his now wife too well, I’d never met her and DH had met her maybe once.

Anyway - as she walked down the aisle, DH said (quietly he thought) to me that it’s a good job the aisle was wide.

I gave him a nudge as to say ‘shut it’.

DH was later confronted by one of the bride’s friends who was sat in front of us who told him she heard the comment and thought he was disgusting (words to that effect).

DH is now worried that this friend would have reported back to his mate, and wants to reach out to say sorry.

I think he should shut it and that his mate probably hasn’t been told. DH disagrees…would you agree it’s best not to say anything?

She was only a size 14~16?!?
And you’ve been that size yourself?!?

Who does he think he is? The epitome of male beauty standard? I doubt so.

He better hope a guest wasn't recording.
I went to a young person's wedding recently, many guests recorded the bride and sent her the recordings, she heard two friends taking the piss out of her on one of the recordings. Disaster, very hurtful.

Your h is an arsehole

Said what a lot thought? That’s a really horrible view of people. Most people aren’t judgemental arseholes.

But, your DH doesn't want to reach out to say sorry does he? He wants to back peddle and smooth over any potential fall out knowing he was overheard and his comments might have reached his friend (bride diesn't get a mention though so still clearly not fussed about her)

Hopefully his mate know, and rest if his friends, so when they next meet up your dh can try to work out whether only he knows he is an idiot or everyone knows he is an idiot.

And i use the phrase 'idiot' instead of putting something much more suitable.

Seriously, being nasty about the bride's looks as she walks down the aisle is nasty.

What a horrible thing to say. Is he always like that
I don't know if the friend will tell the groom that your DH was rude about his Bride but I wouldn't blame them if they did

Good on her friend for confronting him and saying something! That’s a good friend.

It’s horrible that he said that, but obviously you can’t control or be blamed for what he says. Hopefully the friend doesn’t say anything as I imagine the bride would be really upset!

I mean that isnt what ive done, I had two years intensive therapy. I just don’t think it’s that bad to make a joke about weight that the person doesn’t no about. I absolutely think it was the wrong place and I would be cross at the person for doing it so it was heard as I wouldn’t want to upset anyone

I would never make any joke to anyone except my partner when we are at home together and no one else is around as I imagine lots and lots of people do!!

But you didn’t say.

Don’t be rude dh. Or she’s not fat. Etx

you enabled his behaviour and I’m glad a friend of the bride pulled him /you up on it

I actually dont know how youd stay married to someone like this. I've dated two uber hot men myself and neither would make any sort of comment about someone like this. For reference, im a size 16/18. Your husband is a prick.

Just read the OP again. If it wasn’t bad enough already, your DH is concerned about what the groom will think and feel about it, and not the bride

I should add - he said that on someone's wedding day. The day she might be feeling her happiest. What a horrible man.

Tbh if there was that person at my wedding I’d wonder who brought him. But ultimately it’s nothing to do with me. If it’s a stage whisper, he’s got MH issues, hadnt he. Never mind, aye, the world’s full of weirdos.

What a horrible thing to say - on her wedding day as well.

In terms of what to do, obviously the answer is to do nothing. If he apologises for it, he will actually have to admit it and then his mate will know what he said. His mate might not know. I would think that the woman who overheard it would not have told the bride or groom on their wedding day, or even directly afterwards. She probably considers that she dealt with it herself by confronting him - which was well deserved.

but your DH needs to adjust his attitude - not just his idiocy for letting his awful thoughts get overheard, but his actual attitude. People are fat for all sorts of reasons. When I was in full on sandwich generation mode with sick elderly parents and a SEN child, other shit to deal with etc, I was out of my mind with stress and went into premature menopause in my 30s. Because I was so stressed, I didn’t recognise what it was. I was in survival mode. And I stacked on a load of menopause weight. To have morons like your DH cracking “jokes” about that situation is just soul destroying for people. Not for me particularly because I’ve kind of given up on humanity.

Does he crack jokes when people can’t afford stuff, for example? Why is it ok to crack jokes at people’s situations? What a prick he sounds.

The next step- if any- is for him to decide
It's really none of your business.

I expect your OH has had a lot of practice over the years in defending his disgusting comments.

He sounds utterly vile.

I'm not in the LTB brigade, however, he is a monumental prick.

As you say you where in a larger body - how would HE feel if one of his mates joked about your size? And how would it make you feel? FWIW there is NO problem with having a bigger body, just an FYI.

He is NOT a nice person, and you leaving the thread wont change that. I would've been FURIOUS with him.

On her wedding day, to his mate too. What an absolute prick. I am thrilled he was called out for it.

Do post a photo of your lovely husband so we can all assess and comment on his weight and looks. What a horrible man.

Well ultimately, it's nothing to do with the bride, no. But there won't be many people who can share your level of oblivion when having their body commented on in derogatory and judgemental terms. Your first thought would be, who brought him? Then, the world's full of weirdos, and carry on down the aisle unaffected? I'd say that's fairly unusual.

What a horrible man to make a comment like that on a day where every bride should feel nothing but beautiful.. no doubt balding with a beer belly.

At her own wedding? He should be fucking ashamed of himself.

Would you say something so bitchy about a bride walking down the aisle on her wedding day as a guest at the wedding and in earshot of her friends? He must be really stupid as well as mean to do this in a place that will be filled with the bride's friends and family.

As the bride is a pretty average size 14/16, it was hardly said in shock.

Do you and your husband make fun of larger men as well or is your level of cuntery only shown to women?

It's probably so small he wouldn't notice if it fell off

God almighty what a wanker. When he was at the wedding enjoying her hospitality. Just horrific. Plus it sounds like the bride was nowhere near massive.

Hoping this is a wind up, otherwise god only knows what “jokes” he’s making about you behind your back.