Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

Because I want to avoid the smell of poo as much as possible, and that means keeping pooing as far away from living rooms, the kitchen and my bedroom as possible!

I sympathise with you OP! We have 2 bathrooms, 1 upstairs which I use, and 1 downstairs which DH uses. He gets up to go to the loo several times during the night so uses the downstairs one BUT he never closes the door, leaves the lid and seat up, splashes urine on the bowl and doesn't flush. Worst thing is when I come downstairs in the morning, the bathroom door is opposite the stairs and all I see is this 'used' loo and it smells too! He thinks I am being fussy if I complain. I also hate en-suites.

Haha! My DH's poos absolutely stink! I need to give it at least 10 mins with a window open before entering 😂. We use our downstairs toilet for cleaning teeth in a morning, and my young DC's won't clean their teeth in there if DH has been in beforehand! They will go up to the main bathroom upstairs.

This made me laugh though, I'm going to take a leaf out of your book and insist that all poos must be in a bathroom out of sight and smell (we have a ridiculous number of unnecessary ensuites in our house because it's a new build).

It’s a poo, everyone does it. but he’s humouring you, so what’s the issue?

I wouldn't buy a house which did not have an ensuite, but it has to have a window.

As long as the window is kept open, then there should be very little smell.

The older I get, the more I appreciate an ensuite.

The older you get the more you appreciate them.

Light a match, blow it out. Job done, no more smell.

You've more toilets than most people! Quite an excessive number between two people?!

Why not put all your toiletries etc in one of the other bathrooms that he never uses?

And calling it 'doing his business'? It's called a bowel movement. And it's fairly normal.
He's not a dog!

You’re being uptight and ridiculous. Do you have children? If so I hope you aren’t bringing them up to feel there’s something shameful about their natural bodily functions.

Fit an extractor fan. Buy an air-freshener. Or go and use a different bathroom yourself.

What pathetic behaviour

I know mine smells which is why I go to great lengths to cover it up !!
I am imagining OP as a cat in a flowerbed, frantically kicking earth over her recently emitted plop.

I agree that it's a bit gross to poo in an en suite right next to your bedroom, particularly a shared bedroom. I'm not a fan of en suites generally for this reason and also because they make bedrooms feel all damp. Much more civilised to poo in a separate bathroom. We don't have en suites but our downstairs toilet is next to the kitchen-diner and is a poo-free zone. It just seems gross for poo smells to drift into the room where I'm cooking or we are eating.

That aside I think it's a bit prissy to insist your husband uses a separate bathroom. Why is the en suite "yours"? Or do you mean it's ok for both of you to use the en suite for washing and weeing but not pooing? My friend won't even let her husband step into their en suite because it's "her" bathroom. He's perfectly neat and tidy, I would be offended if I were him! We have two bathrooms and a downstairs loo and they are all for the whole family's use and each responsible for opening window and applying the bog brush if that is necessary after a visit. All evidence quickly vanishes. Teamwork!

How have you surmised that this is OP always getting her way?

You're being precious. Do you think yours smells like roses and he doesn't pull a face? Get one of the Air Wicks that spray every 30 minutes and stick an air freshener in there too

My husbands poo stinks more than anyone elses in the family so he does the polite thing and keeps most of his shitting to the downstair wc (off the utility room). The rest of us use the main bathroom and ony use ensuites for wees or emergency overnight poos! It just makes sense from a smell perspective!

Why on earth should it be OP's responsibility to open the window? Are we really advocating for her DH to take zero action? Are you suggesting that he should be able to do whatever he likes, and let other people deal with the fall out?

Should OP also wipe his bum if she doesn't want his shitty pants in the laundry? Or make sure she goes in after him to make sure he's flushed each time? It is just a bodily function after all, totally natural.

Good grief, are the expectations you have for how other people treat you so low?

this doesn't make sense.

What's the point of becoming a martyr and having to deal with unnecessary things? We have a choice, and we use it.

Babies, we deal with.
Bins? Mine doesn't stink. I pay for someone to clean it regularly enough so there's no need for heavy smell.
Hygiene? it's proven to be a health issue too.

My en-suite intended purpose is not for someone to regularly poo in it and stinks the place, and my bedroom with it.

I have toilets in the house, separate from the bathrooms because that's what needed.

I want my husband to be the man I fancy and enjoy spending time with, not a cell-mate that grosses me out with his natural body functions.

where did you see the OP was using the en-suite as a toilet? It's not difficult for everyone to be respectful.

Even my kids wouldn't use my en-suite unless absolutely desperate!

Who want poop smell AND chemical smells right next to their bedroom? It's getting worst and worst😂

Normal bodily function…..it’s his house he can have his normal bodily function in any room that is designed for it.
We all go to the nearest toilet.
We don’t cover it up…we have ventilation/open windows etc.
It’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
id be very concerned if you didn’t have this bodily function!

The cases are not analogous. Unless OP's DH does a poo every thirty minutes and leaves the ensuite door open and doesn't make with the air freshener.
And plenty of people live their life as if their circumstances are worse than they are - for various reasons, some Micawberish others more to do with self-discipline and self-restraint.

I have three kids and became more sensitive to smells after each pregnancy. I had no issue with my kids except with the oldest when he was a few months old and he had formula for the first time.

I’ve been sensitive all of my life and learned not to use my nose and to keep my bedroom door closed growing up because it was directly across from the bathroom. It was bad enough that I didn’t have to see who went in there, I could tell by smell, my sister being the worse and it being a family joke. Think it actually added to my aversion of public toilets and using the toilet in other people’s homes unless I had to and I’m in and out, and not sticking around.

It’s down to being considerate. My husband wanted an en-suite, I did not and thought it would be for guests. He used the en-suite, I use the family bathroom on the floor below. The only time I used the en-suite was after number 3 was born because my parents were visiting and was sleeping in the guest room where I usually sleep because DH snores. DH uses the en-suite and the bathroom near the living room, I use the family bathroom. He knows I’m sensitive to smells and not to use the family bathroom for poos.

Yea, everyone poos but let’s not pretend some people don’t smell much worse than others.

I haven't. It was just a comment on the realities on marriage.

I don't think the realities of marriage should be one spouse saying 'I don’t think your sensitivity to this is [my] problem to make adjustments for.'

I would rather not be married if that is how my husband felt about me or how I felt about him.

That's cool. That's how you feel about marriage and toilets. Not how everyone feels.

Our downstairs loo is right by the front door, with the window also right next to the entrance to our house. I have told my boys that they are to go upstairs if they have to do "special operations" as I don't want our house to smell like an open sewer if we get visitors, it's just general good manners.

My dp will use the upstairs bathroom if he's got to go, but my middle son always uses our en-suite, the cheeky bugger! But as long as he doesn't do it downstairs, that's fine, I'll pick my battles.

Try the VIPoo sprays.