Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

Get him to do it at the bottom of the garden win win, seriously though we live in a crappie new build with an ' en suite' for en suite read shitter in middle of bedroom😂 so yeah I'd get him to do it in another bathroom, why wouldn't you? Ours doesn't even have a fucking window, so if husband does a stinking jobbie in there it stinks the bedroom up for hours.

My husband goes in the furthest bathroom away to be considerate, I feel like that should be the bare minimum but apparently not.

Nobody else should be exposed to your smells if possible, some men are just gross and inconsiderate and I don’t like men like that.

Neither of us are permitted to turd in the en-suite!

Your reading comprehension is poor, absolutely no one has advocated a 3 bathroom house. Like they must buy one.

People have simply said, there are 4 toilets to choose from, it's good manners to choose the one that least impacts others.

It's unfortunate that you find being considerate
so difficult & confusing.

Bloody hell, it's a toilet. He is using it for it's main function. As a PP said, what would you do if you only had one, like a great many people? Have you always been so uptight?

Let the man shit where he wants in his own home, for God's sake!

That's the issue with ensuites, they are convenient, but aren't full complete bathrooms, because they are missing features like "keep separation a don't open directly into the bedroom".
It kinda makes sense to treat the toilet there as emergency only and just use them for sink& shower

I agree with you. I personally think ensuites are disgusting because the smell gets into the bedroom whatever you do.

tell him to go dig a hole in the garden & go outside.

Why cant you use a different bathroom? You sound like a real prude!

If they only had one, it wouldn't be an ensuite.

However, I really prefer for a toilet to be a separate small room, not just another equipment next to the sink. Having toilet next to the toothbrushes feels gross.

Some people are happy to leave the door open when they are on the loo for their partner to "enjoy"

Some are even happy to use the toilets when the other one is in the bath or on another thread, find farting competitions as a couple hilarious.

Each to their own. I don't think exposing every "natural" aspect and all your body functions is doing any good to a relationship personally, but if others find that attractive.

Light a scented candle. Poo smells can be gassy. The candle burns off the smell quicker.

You're not unreasonable OP. My DH takes his daily dump in the downstairs loo. Nice and considerate.

No one wants to breathe in someone else's poo smells of they don't have to.

Glad yours has complied 😬

I am very sensitive to smells and other people's farts and poos make me feel sick. I sometimes urge uncontrollably and occasionally vomit if it's really bad. I honestly don't know how medics and care assistants cope with all the vile smells but we're all different aren't we.

I couldn't live with a man who stank out the ensuite when there are other places for him to do it. If he didn't stop, I'd have to move out of that bedroom and I'd take it as a sign of his contempt for me and my feelings.

@funnypost id be asking the same .
Is he one who doesn’t vent /open a window and sprays the likes of lynx 🤢or does he use toilet cleaner that is beside the toilet then pores extra down befroe leaving the room . As all that makes a difference.

It's totally reasonable to ask him to use an alternative bathroom, especially given that you've got other options. I sympathise, when I was a child my father used to absolutely stink out the bathroom. He would lock himself in there for 40+ minutes at a time and when he came out it would smell like something had died in there. It used to make me feel sick. You could almost taste it. Absolutely revolting. I thought it was normal, but neither my DH nor my teenage son render a bathroom unusable afterwards. There's barely any smell at all unless they're ill or have eaten something particularly spicy.

so move your stuff

I don't get the people saying that they hate the smell of poo - as though the rest of us love it.

I presume that none of these people will ever decide to become parents, as the likelihood of having a baby who poos - and who refuses to deal with the aftermath him/herself - is very high indeed.

It's just a part of being an adult human. Our wheelie bin often smells in summer when I open it to chuck a bag in. Petrol stations smell unpleasant when I go to fill up the car. Life isn't all rainbows and lollipops.

When you think of all the people in the world who, at best, have a grotty, tumbledown wooden shack with a hole in the ground that they have to share with the whole village - and fresh running water on demand would be beyond their wildest dreams - and somebody with 4 separate modern plumbed-in sanitary toilet facilities in their own home is squeamish about one of them being used for its intended purpose.

My dh is really private about doing his business, so he very rarely goes in the en-suite. Sometimes he goes in the annex outside! I’m the same 😆 We’re not prudish or shy with each other in any other way, just when it comes to number twos.

Why?

Why don't you move your stuff into one of the other bathrooms thats not in use and turn it into your own space? Ridiculous to try and dictate where your husband can poo

If you have a spare bathroom why don’t you make him a thank you basket in there, as you said he did swap for you.
Get him bum wipes, little sudoku puzzle books, the stuff that makes the loo foam up, the poo gone smelly stuff and a few metal puzzle games.
Honest seeing you care will mean he wants to use that loo, and it can be your in joke.

I'm quite puzzled by the idea that only men do smelly poo, or that all men produce utterly revolting smells, or indeed that men are doing something horribly wrong by using their loos to poo in.

It isn't just that I hate the smell of other people's poo, it makes me urge and sometimes vomit. My babies didn't have that effect on me although of course it was unpleasant changing shitty nappies.

Wheelie bins and many other things smell horrible but not to the point where I feel sick. I clean up after my dogs and I live in the countryside so I'm used to farmyard smells, which don't seem to bother me that much. It's human poo that I can't stand. One time when I was in A&E, the person in the next cubicle had diarrhoea, which caused me to throw up on the floor. We share a cess pit with 3 other houses and when it's being emptied I have to leave the house.

Those of us who are sensitive to certain smells can't help it. We're not being precious and would prefer to be immune to them as urging and vomiting isn't something we welcome!

Maybe a sticker book?

you are being ridiculous. it’s a natural bodily function. If you are saying your shit doesn’t smell you are lying. just use a different bathroom to the one he used if it’s that much of an issue. you can’t dictate which toilet someone uses in their own house!