Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

Doesn't this kind of thing get tiring? Also, what would happen if you asked somebody where the toilets were and you or they felt the need to ask/specify what toilet-based activity you required before locating an 'acceptable' toilet for that purpose?

It's like insisting on having several stacks of bowls in the cupboard: these ones only for cereal; these ones only for soup; these ones only for salad; these ones only for cake; these ones only for ice cream; these ones only for custard... when most people would just use the same ones for whatever purpose and not waste any mental energy in thinking twice about it!

Not at all unreasonable. You don't need to smell the inside of his bowel. God knows why they stopped putting toilets outside / at the end of the street. It's unfathomable to me why someone would literally want to shit right by where they eat / sleep. My dog doesn't do this. Why would I want my husband to do this?

The joys of living on my own. I manage by opening the bathroom window after taking a dump, the smell is gone in minutes. If you haven't got a bathroom window use an extractor fan or a deodouriser spray. If you haven't got an extractor fan or a window to open, your bathroom is flawed.

The aroma from bowls is less challenging to be fair :)

Of course it's a French thing, en suite,literally meaning "next to", and the novelty came here following people going to France on holiday. We are not French and so pooing in the same room as other people is just grim. They will eventually go back out of fashion.When I was a child we had no bathroom at all,a loo outside,and we bathed in a tin bath in front of the fire.Then indoor bathrooms came in as "necessary",then en suites, and now people have hot tubs so they can bathe outside haha! Wonder when toilets will go back outside?

This.
#firstworldproblems

There's this amazing invention called a flush, you know. Outside toilets were a hangover from the days when flushing toilets weren't common and many people were having to bury their waste, rather than being able to conveniently flush it away. When you pooh into a bucket and leave it until full before emptying, yes, outside looks made sense.

These days, you aren't leaving shit right next to where you sleep unless you don't flush. It's gone in a second.

Maybe for you. Just keep your stuff in the other bathroom and use that one.

Nobody is stopping you from using a shed/lavvy/bucket at the end of your garden, if that's what you prefer.

Most people prefer indoor warmth and convenience; but you don't have to follow the crowd.

True, but that's just part and parcel of a toilet. Your oven will get hot, your freezer will be cold, your sofa will be comfy, your toilet will sometimes whiff a bit.

If you can't stand to have a room(s) in your house that will naturally be a bit pongy sometimes, you can always do what the PP yearned for and set up an old-school cludgie at the bottom of your garden.

Shouldn’t he be doing that in the first place, spraying and/or opening a window without OP having to tell him?

Surely, that is just manners and consideration.

This is the exact reason that I would never live in a house with an ensuite again...

Frankly, you sound unhinged, OP. Toilets are for pooing in. Poo smells. Deal with it and be glad you don’t live in the time before flushing toilets.

And if you are bothered that much, you can use a different bathroom. But banning an adult from using a toilet for its intended use is too precious for words.

"Doing his business"
"Pooping"
"Number twos"
I don't expect everyone to call a spade a bloody shovel, but please, can we all just refer to pooing as pooing, rather than these naff euphemisms (which, ironically, make me feel queasy, on account of the saccharine tweeness).

Beheading the turtle...

Yanbu. I have moved to the main bathroom now due to this issue!!! Our ensuite is tiny and the thought of my toothbrush being near the open toilet was enough. Still doesn't stop him pooing when I'm in bed, but at least I am on the furthest side of the bed away from the toilet!!

open window, quick spray air freshener

Eat more vegetables.

sorted it for you.

Move your stuff to another bathroom if you are so disgusted by him using it

We have a strict not in the en-suite policy! If you’re fortunate to have additional bathrooms, do what we do - I gave the en-suite, DH has the one furthest from the bedrooms! It works for us!

En suits are gross. End of discussion 😂

As you get older you just get on with stuff get this. We are just ending a holiday in Greece and the plumbing is a bit iffy. We have to put toilet paper in the bin, and help solids flush with the aid of a toilet brush. Found it odd at first, after 2 weeks laughing about it. You probably stink as much as he does, but as a bloke, he couldn't care less. Do you have an extractor fan in the ES? If not, get one fitted and that will end the problem.

Not really if the smell is already in the room. The best thing to do it poo quickly and flush immediately, then wipe, open window, have shower and there will be no smell by the time you're done.

We have two toilets: one in the bedroom like OP (en suite) and one in the entrance. I have forbidden my husband of doing nr 2 in toilet next to bedroom because it stinks. So children and my two DS poo there and DH goes to the toilet in the entrance hall. Because it stinks!!! Even his mum says it stinks when he's been at hers. My DS and myself don't produce perfume but it's nothing like the odeur my DH produces, it's vile. 🤢 So I'm with you @funnypost ..

I think this is ridiculous. It’s a bodily function and sure, the smell can be a bit 🤢 but it passes! Lighten up and have a giggle about it OP!

Buy some Pooper Star or similar. It's amazing and cheap as anything. You spray a couple of squirts on the water before having a poo and it creates a barrier so the smell doesn't get out.
Honestly it works.
You will have to train him to use it before he poo's though.