Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

[funnypost]

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

Agree. If a choice

so the spare bedrooom loo can be the poo loo

i know someone who does that

I got it wrong. I thought OP wanted him to use the downstairs toilet. As it happens, she's asked him to use any one of THREE bathrooms, including the downstairs, so that she can use the master en suite.

What a callous way to treat a person, OP! Your poor, poor husband.

This is legitimately unhinged.

I unfortunately had a gas engineer urinate in/around my bathroom sink and under sink cabinet when servicing my boiler. Now I understand the reluctance to leave workmen alone in the house and to let them use the facilities.

My en-suite intended purpose is not for someone to regularly poo in it and stinks the place, and my bedroom with it.

Fine, if you live alone - entirely your choice.

Most people, however, do regard a toilet as a facility for all usual toileting needs.

Funny you should mention sawdust toilets.....I regularly go to a farm shop with a café which has only a sawdust toilet. A sign requests that it only be used for "wee, not poo"..... But I really don't understand how they can restrict it: it's a toilet!

That sounds both illegal and illogical. The law states that cafes have to have customer toilets, which is obviously assuming for all standard toilet functions.

What are you meant to do if you might need a poo? Do you have to 'admit' it and beg to be allowed to use the corner of one of their barns, where the pigs do their business?

What happens if you only expected a wee, but something more solid sneaks out by surprise? You don't always know for sure, especially if you have IBS or similar or aren't feeling well.

And proudly so 😂

But to come to my (unreasonable) defence, there’s only one room in the house where the “clean” toilet is the closest, and it’s the room with our wardrobe and dressing table so it’s a transient room - you wouldn’t be sat in it. Anywhere else and you’d walk past a poo-friendly toilet to get to it, so it’d be a weird choice. And I enjoy having once less toilet to clean quite as often.

But on the whole, I accept my unreasonable position on this 😅

That sounds like the people who buy toys and carefully keep them pristine, wrapped in their boxes for decades. Seems quite sad, really, as that isn't why toys are made in the first place.

Do you also keep the plastic cover from the factory permanently on your sofa and chairs, to prevent them ever being sullied by actual standard use?

A toilet stench pipe is designed to handle poo travelling down it for many, many years - as well as a lot of water, which keeps it relatively clean and washed out over time. Why would you even care about what the inside of a pipe that you will never see or touch looks like?

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP, but sadly not wanting to inhale our loved ones' shit particles somehow leaves us in the minority 😂

Interestingly, that’s absolutely not me. But again, I have more toilets than humans in my house. All inhabitants of the house could all defecate at the same time and still leave this toilet alone.

It’s not even our newest toilet and pipes, so it’s not like I’m precious about keeping every new toilet clean. We just agreed as a household to not poop in that toilet.

I’m with you OP.

Just divvy up the bathrooms. He uses the spare room which doesn't matter if it smells. It's a no brainer!! And why on earth would he mind. Peace and quiet for him. Pleasant smells of roses for you. Win win!

Why bother having it, then? Surely if you have additional toilets that you don't actually need or use much, why not use that space for storage or something else more useful?

Nobody has said that they WANT to - anymore than people have a baby because they desperately want to wipe up poonamis or enjoy the experience of getting the shoulders of their tops regularly vomited on.

It's just a mundane part of the human experience.

as this thread shows, no, "most people" don't.

Half and half possibly.

only if you decide to live that way?

A baby, of course you look after.

Which bathroom you are using? It's not prison, I am sure most people manage to make a choice depending on their personal life pretences.

Someone pooping in the en-suite next to my bed and stinking the place would not put me in any mood to be intimate with them put it that way.

Only one toilet here, it’s never been a problem we just open the window.

Should she move her bed too?

It doesn't actually matter on a demographic level - as long as the people who live in the household are in agreement, and make the rules clear to any guests.

I especially don't get the people on here who believe (and sometimes insist) that the menfolk in the household shouldn't poo in the en-suite, as that's grim, disgusting and possibly creepy; but that it's fine for the women.

Because 3 toilets in a 4 bed is expected nowadays, and the room is a well used bathroom with a bath and a shower. It also has storage and the washer and the dryer in there.

The square metre used by the toilet is not really wasted. And we do use the toilet, I use it every day more than once.

I didn't realise Gillian McKeith was on Mumsnet.

We only have one toilet and I would LOVE to have enough toilets to have a dedicated poo-free one, honestly sounds amazing and not a real hardship.

Anyway, I reckon you phrased your question wrong OP. If you’d been gone “aibu to be bothered DH’s poo makes our bedroom stink” half the advice probably would have been to grow a backbone and make him poo in a different toilet. It’s only because you’ve already found a solution that you’re being told you’re wrong

YABU You sound too Hyacintha Bucketish to me. Just get him to spray air freshener. There. Done.

Just get him to spray air freshener.

Cloying artificial stench, plus shit. That’s even worse. 🤮

So if you were happily there, having a wee, and then you suddenly realised that you needed an 'upgrade'... would you really finish off in the no-poos toilet, clench, adjust your clothing, wash your hands - and then scuttle away and start all over again in another poos-allowed toilet (assuming there's one vacant)?

Or would you just automatically favour the omnitoilet, knowing that it offers you more options and flexibility?