To ask for some support? DP disappeared and worried about an accident

[Ubadl]

DP does a weekly 4-5 hour drive each Friday and Sunday as he’s currently on a placement several hours away. He stayed a bit late last night as he wanted to chat to DS as he went to bed and then he set off at 9pm.

His battery had died before he left and he said he may not be able to charge in the car because of a dodgy connection. However he has work at 8am and is usually absolutely obsessed with being on time for work and I’ve not heard a thing. He always messages when he’s at hotel.

ive been googling accidents and having dark thoughts and just looking for a hand hold. Surely by now he’d have battery?!

Have you dropped him an email?

It’s quite the thing on AIBU. Opinionitis Prematurus.

Yes. The OP posted that she had.

I'd be inclined to ring the central team for his place of work again I think, to chase up and to make sure they understand how worried you are, so that this doesn't slide to the bottom of someone's task list who hasn't understood the urgency.

@Ubadl I would doubt he’s had an accident on the road as someone would’ve come across him by now, they’d have done a reg check etc. I would say he’s asleep still at the hotel. Why not call the hotel and say you’re his wife (a lie in this instance is fine) and ask if he checked in, or ask if he’s come down for breakfast. Tell them he was worried about sleeping in and since you haven’t heard from him you’re worried now too. Just do this for your own peace of mind, but I am certain he’s ok 🙏 and when he is ok, tell him to get his act together and get a new phone, and a power bank!

Absolutely OP, phone his workplace, it's time to do that now.

Have you considered contacting the police and reporting your concerns?

Oh yes I missed that. Hmm. That is unpleasant of him to not reply then, assuming he’s fine.

I hope all is ok OP!!

I do hope he is ok but he really shouldn't be driving a 4-5 hour drive when he is extremely tired. It's dangerous to him and to others

The car isn’t registered to their address and OP isn’t his NOK so they’d have no way of contacting her or even knowing about her.

I suspect his phone is broken and he has been rushing to get to work (maybe late because he had no alarm?). Once in work he will be cracking on and possibly just hasn't had a minute to respond to an e mail. Please don't worry. I'm sure he will be fine.

I would be worried too OP. I hope everything is ok.

He could easily be in a meeting or caught up doing something else.

I would call the police station local to the address registered with DVLA just in case they are sending someone to that address for peace of mind. Horribly stressful, but the likelihood is it will be completely fine.

It’s really a terrible idea to drive when tired, this needs to be a wake up call

Definitely ring his work now. And I would enquire with the police, they would be able to find out if there were any accidents. there is no harm is asking. Sending positive energy to you and hope it all works out fine

I live between junction 34 and 36 and there were no accidents on M6 that I am aware of since yesterday. Hope that settles you a bit. Sending hugs x

Good luck. I’m sure it’s fine.

Sure. I imagine he is. But pinging off a quick email, assuming he’s notified on his work devices when they land, to your clearly worried partner, takes no time.

I hope you hear from him soon @Ubadl. I understand how worrying it is, even when you know it's not very likely to be terrible news. Hopeful he's just not had a chance to get in touch yet.

I don’t blame you for worrying, I would be too. However the highest chances are that’s he’s ok and his phone has just given up on him. He’s probably stressed and being thoughtless not thinking to email you. I’m sure you will hear something soon.

This. His phone probably stopped charging (mine has done that before)

Lots of people’s workplaces aren’t like that though - many people won’t have constant access to their emails or are on sites where they have no signal. I just don’t think it’s fair to paint him as someone who doesn’t give a shit when the likelihood is he’s just stuck in a meeting or there’s been a crisis on site.

@Throwmoneyatit thank you so much

I actually haven’t intentionally done that. I’ve lived through my husband going missing and it was a truly awful, awful experience. You can’t breathe or sit still. It was reported to the police in my case. Just absolutely terrible. He was ultimately fine but I had a nine hour wait to discover that.