Dd saying I look fat

[Hatethistimeofyear]

Recently Dd, 7 has said a couple of times that I look fat and my tummy looks pregnant
I have got a bit of weight on me-size 16-18, but she’s never mentioned it before.

How would you deal with this? Would you say it’s not nice to call people fat? I know she’s not meaning to be unkind and isn’t saying it an unkind way

Would you just leave it?

Ive always said it doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s how kind you are that matters

Feeling a bit shit as trying desperately to lose weight

Don’t make anything of it

I’d tell her she’s a cheeky little monkey and to mind her own biz.

I'd say it's not very kind to comment on how people look, big or small.

Totally disagree - I would definitely tell her it’s not ok to comment on others’ appearance. We’ve told our boys this from a very young age.

Both of my DC said similar things to me when they were around that age. I just commented that it was because I didn’t have much time to exercise and enjoyed eating cake and reminded them it wasn’t nice to comment on people’s shape

🙄

I’d tell her it’s unkind to mention things like this. I’d then also tell her that it’s unhealthy for you to be this size and you’re putting things in place to address it.

Ironic!

That’s quite rude, she should know not to make personal comments by that age. If she said that to someone at school, she’d be in trouble.
Time for some very clear conversations with her about how to avoid being rude and hurting people’s feelings.

Out of the mouths of babes…

I think I’d say it can be hurtful to call
someone fat, but you’re aware you are and you’re trying to lose weight to be healthy.

My DD said I looked pregnant when she was about the same age. I laughed at it at first but then explained to her that some people would be very hurt if someone said that to them. It didn't happen again.

I’d tell her that we don’t say things like that to people, ignoring it doesn’t feel the best course of action incase she says it to others

I would say that we don’t comment on people’s bodies.

I have some medical issues which make me bloat sometimes 😒. My dcs used to say similar to your dd. I always say not to comment on people's appearances and reiterate it anytime they do. That goes for someone being very tall, very skinny, having unusual teeth, having visible scars etc too. Just don't comment on people's appearances at all.

Some adults need to hear the same message but I'm not their mum so 🤷‍♀️

Tell her she's being unkind, because (even if she's being factual) it's mean.

The irony

Kids speak the truth

I would concede that she was right and tell her that you're eating healthily and doing exercise to change that. They learn about healthy eating/nutrition and exercise at school so she's probably just become aware of different sizes and that some are healthy and some are not.

I'd also tell her it's rude to comment on what other people look like. You then need to honour this yourself though, if you tell her she's pretty/cute/looks nice etc. this all counts as commenting on someone's appearance. You need to make sure you follow your own rules.

Unhelpful

Do you want to reread your post?

No, I don't count complimenting someone as the same and I also tell (now older) dcs this. It's ok to say someone looks nice or you like their dress or whatever. It isn't OK to ask someone why one of their teeth is wonky or brown

You need to gently tell her as you don't want her saying "that lady is very fat" etc when she sees people. It's probably a case for "If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anythjng".

I'd explain that all bodies look different and that's OK. We might notice differences but we don't comment on them.

There's no need to go into diet or health or anything else provided messages about nutrition and taking care of our bodies is already part of your conversations at home. I certainly wouldn't be equating diet and body shape at that age.

That’s not very kind!