AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

But by deleting her harmless comment you’ve made yourself look like a lunatic

And you didn't have to shit all over her to do that.

I'm just trying to imagine my Mum bragging on Facebook when I bought my first house...

No, just can't picture it.

And if she had I would have been so embarrassed, both for myself and for her.

You really need to back off and let your son live his life.

You’re reacting passive aggressively, competitively & with an agenda OP. If you didn’t then you’d have welcomed her commenting on it. Your own son has credited his GF with the moral & emotional support with out which he wouldn’t be where he is today buying his 1st property. You excluding her speaks volumes. Your judgement over her credit history also suggests you disapprove of her. It feels like you’re trying to sabotage or cause trouble ahead of them getting more settled & married off. You viewing her response as trying to steal your thunder & a mother & son moment is OTT too. Social Media means others can comment so don’t post on there if you can’t cope with the responses you’ll get. Ironically it seems like your behaviour has pushed your DS closer to his GF as he has defended her to you. What else about her don’t you like? Maybe you should address what’s truly bothering you about her so that you don’t passive aggressively end up spoiling their wedding.

You need to get off Facebook and act your age

Well done to your DS but you're not listening to PPs saying you were overstepping by deleting her post. In doing that action and complaining to your DS about her you're trying to compete with her for his affection and show you are right/top dog. I doubt anyone else would care enough about the "accuracy" to have taken offence at what she wrote. Time to self reflect OP if you want an ongoing relationship with them both and start putting their own boundaries in place with you.

My ex mother in law was like this. Everything was about her wonderful son and how proud she was of him, even on our wedding day. My role in helping him achieve anything was always ignored.

The Facebook post didn’t even need to exist in the first place let’s face it. It was a braggy mc braggy pants move and it’s back fired you’ve soured the relationship with future dil and in turn your own child.

You could have just text how proud and sent a new home gift.

I don’t think that will have helped your relationship with your son-it was really unnecessary & then deleting her comment? I think you should delete your post & apologise to her

Good point.

Having a good relationship with Dil or SIL is priceless and that's why I've worked hard with all the partners of my kids. I'm even on good terms with exDIL.

OP you've shot yourself in the foot and I think it is going to take lots of hard work, generosity of your future DIL and some good luck to put this right.

YABU for broadcasting your son's business. You can be proud without embarrassing him, yourself and looking like a dick to your son's future family.

So were you making a pointed comment? (Try to be honest with yourself)

she then made a pointed comment back..???

But you did it publicly on Facebook. Did anyone else comment, any of your friends? Are you also fuming with them for muscling in on your precious “private” mother son moment?

Yes, you were wrong.

What on Earth were you hoping to gain by deleting her comments?

Wow talk about pissing on their parade! You’ve probably put a real downer on it now for both of them. I think you’ve probably shot yourself in the foot here, this woman will no doubt be the mother of your grandchildren and will probably keep you at arms length from now on, I would. What has your son said about it?

Wow, incredibly petty thing to do.

Why do you care so much what people on facebook think about your son’s achievements? What does it matter? If it was my son I’d be proud that he’s including his fiance and she’s not left feeling like she’s just a guest in his home.

The fact you only reply to the 2/3% of posters who agree with you ….. 😂

But your son has told you that's not how he feels and you've upset him. Even if you're unable to see that you were wrong surely this should matter more to you than keeping on digging your heels in? After all you've described yourself as proud, protective and caring but you've upset him. Make it right

You love your son and you're proud of him, which is wonderful.

He's told you, however, that you were out of line and he's firmly on his fiancée's side. Now it's up to you to love him enough to accept this, or lose him because of insanity.

Whether you were unreasonable or not is irrelevant now he's told you to get a grip.

But what did her comment take away from your son?

Your son has got a mortgage and bought a house. Unless you’re Hobbits used to living in a hole in the ground this is not an accomplishment that requires public rejoicing, particularly not while alienating of the mother of your future grandchildren at the same time

Yabu. I don't read what she put as her trying to claim credit, I read it exactly as put. That she is looking forward to their home (and yes it is her home too if she's lives there) and that she's looking forward to the next chapter. You should have just left it, it's one thing to ignore the comment, it's something entirely different to delete the comment. I very much doubt you two will have a good relationship.

Give it a year , and you’ll be on here bleating about how your DIL completely blanks you and you have NO idea why ….

You asked AIBU.
Look at the poll.

It was horribly unkind and unnecessary thing to do. You’ve set yourself up for a bad relationship with you future DIL, and the mother of your future DGC.
Good luck to you. You’re going to need it.