AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

You are so unreasonable it's laughable. Everyone is telling you this but you are not listening. Worst of all you are not hearing your son. You have done a lot of damage here to your future relationship and I really think you should listen unless you want to be cut off from your son down the track.

Indeed you do.
But you don’t have the right to dismiss his partner.
I should think he’s quite upset with you over this.

God in heaven, it’s a Facebook post, not the Court & Social pages in The Times. Why are you even posting it in the first place, can’t you speak to him or send him a card? Isn’t that how normal people congratulate their kids?

That was your thought process? Beyond weird unless there's a back story. Flipping heck. Why did you not just congratulate them on their new home and wish them both well? You need to accept that your adult son is building his own family and future.

I miss the days when we were all grown-ups and acted as such.

You’re not getting piled on “simply bc I’m a FMIL” - you’re getting piled on because you’ve done a stupid, nasty thing.
Or because you should be getting ready for school in the morning.

They are marrying. It’ll become a joint asset.

O think you’ve done a very good job at starting the difficult MIL/DIL relationship.

Of that was your intention you’ve done yourself proud.

If it wasn’t ……. 🤔

No they wouldn't!

You sound exactly like my MIL, she’s an arsehole as well

It’s OK to be concerned about your DS buying a house with his fiancé without her contributing, but at this point in time the wise move would be to wish them both happiness in their new home.

Your first post should have included her.
When you didn’t include her and she gave you the opportunity - you deleted her post.
In my view, you have behaved badly towards both of them.

Could you not just have messaged him directly saying you were proud of him, why the need to plaster it on social media? This seems a deliberately public dig at the poor woman.

Total mil from hell incoming. She wasn’t diminishing what he had achieved but you’ve set your tone for the relationship with her going forward now.

just remember when she births the grand babies to congratulate only her since she’s the one who birthed and carried, he will of just cum. You know since she will of been the one who put in all the hard graft while he just came along for the ride 😉

Wow how spitful!

@northernballer doesn't it just? I hate this performative crap.

Sounds like you’re going to be one of those mother in laws. Your son’s fiancé will be posting on here in the future about what a nightmare you are if you don’t do something about your attitude towards her. They are going to be a family unit whether you like it or not. He’s choosing to be with her and to live with her. He’s engaged to her. You don’t need to be nasty to her because she’s excited.

Buckle up. You’re the nightmare MIL. You’re engineering a rift, and likelihood is you’ll get one, then what?
When compelled to chose family or partner adult children usually chose their partner
You risk being estranged and ostracised - rightly so

Fucking Hell, I’m so embarrassed for you.

She didn't say she had bought it though, just that she was excited to be moving into their new home. She wasn't taking credit for buying the house. I'm sorry I don't understand your point

Thank you! I’m trying to say this wasn’t about his fiancé in this one given moment this was about me as his mother recognizing that due to my son’s own accomplishments he was able to purchase this home

I don't think either you deleting the comment on Facebook, or posting here, have had the outcome you anticipated @ThisFastEagle.

I would not be surprised if you've started a war with your FDIL, one which will only alienate you from your DS. Your FDIL is perfectly entitled to feel upset at your actions, and your DS will, in all likelihood, support his DF, rather than his overstepping DM.

You sound like a bitch.

Oh well. You’ve fucked your relationship with her and he’ll take her side in the future. Well done.

I bet he's really proud of you too, for the way you took one of his greatest achievements and soured it.

He's probably apologising for your behaviour while his fiance is wondering how to keep you as far away from them as she can.

Good lord, I am grateful every day that my MIL is not like you.

You could’ve done that in a private message. Guaranteed your son has to warn people about you before they meet you.

If that's the case, even more reason to have made it a private moment. I think you're playing a very dangerous game here.