AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

If she didn't want anyone else to comment then as a user since 2007 you should know that she could turn commenting off then 😂

It is more common than you think for premarital assets to become matrimonialised and then become martial assets that are divisible and must be shared upon divorce.

Particularly if she will be left without a home or any prospect of one due to her credit history, then the court may determine that he must give her half, or a similar proportion, but there are many factors to consider of course.

Hate to break this to you but FB or any type of social media is not private whatever way you want to look at it 😂

If you had tagged her while congratulating your son for buying his house, it would not put attention away from your son’s achievement, but just tagging her in the post, also included her to feel a part of that home and family.
Tagging her does not mean you are saying she contributed financially to that house.

Yeah I agree, I know someone who always feels the need to upstage, if you’ve been to Tenerife then she’s been to Elevenerife 🙄 so embarrassing. Makes me want to swat her like an annoying fly.

I quite like the baby analogy, I suspect the op isn’t going to shove her son aside and say what? You didn’t grow that baby!! As she rushes into gushingly congratulate her dil.

we will never know as at this rate op won’t be invited to meet any grandchild. Op, I wish you could see what you’re doing. Sure you can be proud of your son, but by putting his fiancé down you might have to be proud from a distance as you are unwelcome in their lives. I’d be proud of a son who stood up for his partner like that so maybe you’ve done something right as a parent, but we can’t see it from this post.

If she wanted to keep it private, she could have called her son and told him how happy, proud of him she was.

Or send a DM to her son so other people didn’t see it. His fiancé saw and commented. Who benefitted from deleting her comment? OP’s son? I don’t think so. He is unhappy about it.

As long as you make sure not to make a congratulatory post when they have their first baby. Or if you do, only tag your DIL. As that will be HER accomplishment, not your sons.

You said in last post you added her name to the post but still feel it was your son who paid for house as an argument against your future DIL wanting to be appreciated for her support. Your son does not see it that way.
It seems like rather than be happy for your son and in extension to his fiancé, you make it about achievement of MY SON. Try to be happy for your son and this house with his fiancé makes him happy according to his response to you.

You're either new to the internet or don't understand how it works 😁
Anyone can comment on public posts, it's not and never has been private unless you do it via messaging.
You sound like one of those strange people in comment sections who you see saying "I wasn't talking to you, I'm having a private conversation" - private in full view of everyone else and you will get people commenting. Especially if they're part of the occasion you're posting on!

The FDIL is territorial and smothering…..

🤣🤣🤣🤣

A post on social media isn't private between 2 people. A private moment would be the 2 spending time together or even private messaging, not a public post.

Ignore the usual suspects, loads of women here just love a pile on.

Rationally, of course you can definitely 100 percent of the time delete comments on your own Facebook Page. Nobody can legitimately argue otherwise and you had absolutely EVERY RIGHT to do so.

Just know that she might exercise that choice with you too.

She was very very definitely marking her territory and making sure she was included in a comment that was not about her.

They're not married and they may never be, you only have to worry about treating her as a wife once she is his wife.

If she had said "I am so proud of what he's achieved, and so looking forward to us living together" I am sure you would think differently.

You're 100 percent not being unreasonable - but she might not see it that way. Don't involve yourself in any arguments about it, and hide future posts from her if she annoys you.

👏👏👏

Yes all 97% of 3399 are “just love a pile on”

🤔

So, if women disagree, it’s just a pile on and OP shouldn’t listen.
If, women do agree, OP is right.

It’s almost like you’re saying, whatever happens OP is right?

Can't wait for the post in a couple of years time stating "my dil doesn't want anything to do with me but I've only ever been kind to her". I think you sound overbearing (at best) and you ought to make changes prior to them marrying and having children.

You sound like you're trying to start a pointless and dreary argument with a woman you have never met as well as jamming words into my mouth, so yes you are indeed one of those want a pile on and are now enraged that someone disagrees with you.

Go away please :)

You won't like to be told that so explicitly, and will probably assign all sorts of projected reasons to it.

But I find with those who want to start a dreary fight for no reason at all and try to jam words into other people's mouths, they are disingenuous and not acting in good faith, so simply being straightforward is best.

No need to reply, nothing to discuss. Just go away please :)

What is unkind about removing a post from your own facebook wall which you find irritating and pushy?

Unkind means inconsiderate and harsh, but she considered it carefully and was not harsh at all.

Do you have other information about the OP that nobody else has which will back this notion, or is this just something you hope will happen?

You’ve spent the whole of the early hours going through posts, like a troll on speed!

Clearly, you’ve got some issues going on, not sure what.

But to explain how MN works, you don’t police it and decide who answers or doesn’t, it’s a public forum.

HTH

Have a good day now.

Honestly if you think being backed up by @Nosuchthing2025 is a positive on your view, then god help you!

But I suppose birds of a feather and all that!

If you don't want someone commenting on a post, change it so that person can't see the post, or better still, don't brag on Facebook. No one needs to know about your family's financial situations, it's horribly crass and vulgar.

A nice post about your son moving into his new home would have been fine but all the stuff about his achievements is just cringey.

Then you try and justify your pathetic, childish, rude behaviour. The whole thing is pathetic.

The argument against the future daughter in law not being on the mortgage and your son saving whilst she paid the rent just shows how ignorant and blind you are. He couldn't have done it without her paying the rent and i bet they agreed that before he started saving. I wouldn't be surprised if they have something written up to say some of the house is hers and haven't told you.

You do ‘magically’ get stuff when you marry someone and divorce them. Maybe not half of it’s a short marriage but marriage is a legal contract that automatically gives people rights financially. It’s legal not ‘magic’.

Reassuring to see only 3% agree with OP.

The problem is you see it as your son's accomplishment through hard work and his credit.

They see it as something they planned together, they chose the house together, for their future as a married couple and any children they may have. They see themselves as one unit.

Be proud that your son can provide a home for his family.

And the only reason you put that post up on fb was to boast, so it was about YOU or you would have told him in private.

Please don't dig your heels in about this, you will only push your son away. You have a chance now to change how you think of them, she is going to be your daughter and potentially the mother of your grandchildren. You need to accept this and find a way to love her.

Forget about just deleting one comment you should be deleting Facebook!

Also the sock puppetry on this thread is hilarious