AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

What the actual hell is wrong with you? You sound horrific. Your poor future DIL.

What a horrible thing to do. I would hate to have you as my mother in law

But is she planning to contribute to the mortgage? I'm assuming your son hasn't bought the house outright. Either way, they are engaged and it is her 'home' too.

Nahhh you didn’t delete her comment 🤣🤣 it’s so ridiculous it’s honestly almost a joke.

Honest to god, OP, you’ve made a right tit out of yourself. Embarrassed for you.

Oh god! you're a right drama queen aren't you? She was excited and was just adding to your comment but you see bad in it. And the "but I was just congratulating my son , am I not allowed to do that?" is you deflecting, because it's not that that was the problem, no one is saying you can't be proud that your son bought a house, it was you being deliberately nasty to your future dil, who did not in anything she said take away from you being proud of your son. If you want to lose your son keep it up!

I’ve read all the updates on this post. So glad the son stuck up for his future wife.

Like a previous poster said… Life is definitely about balance. There was a time I was out of work retraining and my DH supported the family, paid for my car etc. I am now the high earner.

You really do run the risk of not being welcome in to yours sons family. He will soon be married, kids will follow and that will be his immediate family. You will be his extended family who, will need inviting for visits. Do you really think your DIL is going to welcome you with open arms?

Also did the whole world know this wasn’t a joint purchase? Did your son and DIL want this announcing on Facebook? That really was not your place to announce.

Shit like this makes me so thankful I saw the light and deleted Facebook. Jesus Christ.

OP - AIBU
Everyone - YES YBVU
OP - no im not & proceeds to basically post the same 'justification' 50 times 🙄

Let's be honest about the real reason you deleted the comment.

You probably have friends on FB with children of a similar age who don't own their own homes and wanted to brag. FDIL's comment made it seem like they both bought the house, which took the shine off your "My son is better than your kids, Hah!" moment, so you removed it.

Now your son is pissed off at you and instead of saying "Sorry, I fucked up" you are trying to justify what you did with a bunch of bullshit excuses.

You clearly don’t care if 100% of responders think you are unreasonable; you are choosing to die on this hill. That poor woman who is supposed to marry your son, I feel for her. It’s was a bitchy, petty move. Period.

Has it occurred to you OP that the reason your son has managed this accomplishment at this point in his life is because of his fiancée?

They are renting together? So she’s been part of the reason he could save enough? She may well have provided the emotional stability and practical support on a day to day basis - sharing the chores and cooking and general life admin that gave your son the help and space he needed to take this step now.

You were indeed acting like he’s a single man doing this all on his own.

Oh my god, I’d run for the hills if I was her. You’re going to be a nightmare mother in law! How horribly unkind & petty. If my mum did something like that to my partner, I’d be furious & embarrassed.

You were spiteful and you’ve upset your son. Apologise and just delete the post because it’s too late to salvage it now. Your son loves her, he’s marrying her, and if you start trying to push her out it’s not going to go well for you. No doubt you’ll be on here in 5 years’ time moaning about how you never get to see the grandkids.

You may be proud of your son OP but I'm pretty sure he's not proud of you, or your unkindness to his fiancée right now.

You're a bit late to the party OP.

The time to raise concerns about her poor credit rating was before they got engaged, not getting involved in this passive/aggressive stuff now

Do you know if she has she got any bad debt outstanding?.More importantly, does he?

I understand the OPs concerns re bad credit rating, hopefully it is a one off and she's building her credit rating back up again.

I wouldn't have put it on FB in the first place it's a bit braggy. Though to get a mortgage solo is an achievement. It's private imo. Next time just pick up the phone and call them, send a card.

This is one of those posts that I genuinely hope is fake. If it isn’t you are the mother and the mother in law from hell. Your poor son must be mortified. Why on earth would you post such a thing in the first place?! It’s so obvious you’re just bragging which is embarrassing. As for deleting your son’s future wife’s comment,that is just nasty. You are clearly jealous of her as he prioritises her over you. You need to change your atrocious attitude and quickly. If you don’t,you’ll be lucky if you ever see him.

I think when your son finds a lifelong partner you have to take a step back. She is who he's chosen and failing to support her is also failing to support him. Her comment might irk you for the reasons you have stated but it's not for you to say anything. Remain proud for your son but don't tarnish the relationship with your future daughter in law.

If you love and admire your so much you would be trying to undermine his relationship with his fiancée. And honestly if you don't like his fiancée, it would be better to pretend you do

Whether you meant to or not you’ve started a war here. This is the future home of your FDIL and DS and presumably they picked it together in some capacity. Your post should have been celebrating this new development for them as a couple rather than just ignoring the FDIL altogether. You’ve now changed the entire focus of his achievement to be on this spat and your clear animosity towards your FDIL. Your Facebook friends have no idea who contributed financially or otherwise so your post just comes across as malicious. If you want to congratulate your son about a financial achievement then do that privately as others have said.

What a really horrible attitude.

This! Can you even imagine if a woman came on here and happened to mention that they’d just bought a house and their male fiancè hadn’t contributed a penny to the deposit?!?!?! The word ‘cocklodger’ would be trotted out within seconds……

Wow. You will realise that he loves her and will choose her.
And you’ve preemptively screwed your relationship with future grandchildren. Tragic.

Well not if the buyer ring fences their deposit and both couples pay towards the mortgage. Which I assume is happening in OP’s case.