AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

How long till the wedding.

It’s June of next year

I’d hold off on buying a hat….
You need to put this right. Soon.

When my DH and I bought our first home we weren't thinking about how great we were for working hard and saving up. We were thinking about how excited we were to move into our first house and start this next chapter.

Your son is also right that although he was the one who saved up, she helped and supported him on this journey. And I'm sure she will contribute to the household.

You say you were only congratulating his hard work and ability to save a deposit, which is a weird thing to congratulate your son on, especially publicly. She probably just thought it was a normal post congratulating someone on their new home and joined in with her excitement.

Deleting her comment was wild. The equivalent of holding your hand up to her face to stop her talking if this conversation was happening in person.

I don't even know what your issue with the comment was. Is noone allowed to talk about the new house except for to say how great your son is for having loads of money?

I'm glad your son stood up for himself and her.

Yeah we are all suckers and you are the wise one 😂
You can look down at us gullible stupid people while you aren’t that naive oh worldly one….🤣

Can you explain this saying please? Once a son is married I’m not longer allowed to have a relationship with him?

Least you have some time to try and ass kiss a bit.

Honestly I’d just delete the whole Facebook post.

My MIL doesn't like me or think I am good enough for her son even though we have now been married 18 years.

My DH has had very little to do with her for years. Imagine that being you.

Total bitch move.

They're going to become the family you don't see if you keep on keepin on. Is that your goal?

You sound like an insufferable fucking snob to be perfectly honest. Why would someone old enough to be a mother to someone who's got a mortgage feel the need to tell all her Facebook friends how fabulous her son is? and making a point of broadcasting that it's HIS purchase so deliberately skirting around your obvious intentions with the post. You wanted everyone who knows you all to know her financial standing within their relationship. You've got zero moral high ground or right to do that to someone and have the audacity to mask it as being a proud mother whilst your opinion of her reeks out of your attitude. Buy him a card for his new home and write a nice message to him congratulating him if you want to validate and celebrate his achievement. But it should still say I hope you BOTH have a happy life together in your new home. I wonder if you'll still be as proud of him when his own morals and loyalty to his future wife makes him look at you through fresh lenses and put you in your place.

He may have bought it but it's their home.

You've screwed up your relationship with them probably. Very nasty thing to do, regardless of intentions.

And she’s right. Your post wasn’t “happy new home”, like any decent person would post, it deliberately set out to exclude her, then you made an idiot of yourself by deleting her comment.

I don’t see you getting many invites to their home.

Oh, I love these sort of posts ... The ones where 97% of the poll thinks that the OP is being unreasonable, but she ain't having that!!
How exactly was his fiancé undermining your son's achievement or making it about her?
You said that you were proud of your son. She said that she was looking forward to them living there. It's not like she was trying to claim that she this was a shared achievement.
I mean, by all means, continue to ignore any comments, but you have upset both your son and your future dil. If you wish to maintain a good relationship with them both, you need to climb down from this one and apologise to the pair of them. Your Dil wont forget this easily and, tbh, I wouldn't blame her.

Really? Why delete the whole post?

I guess your son is 18, hence it being a major achievement
and that he is the 1st in your family to buy ( albeit with a mortgage ) a property

and I also guess the fiancee will not be paying a penny in rent / lodgings only towards utility bills / council tax etc. as it is HIS property.

and obiv you had him at a solicitor to ensure his purchase of his property was watertight incase of marriage.

Hate to piss on your chips, but when it’s the matrimonial home, it’s doesn’t matter if it’s 100% bought by him.

she’s entitled to half of it. Especially if they have kids.

Also, she didn’t take any credit - she only said she was looking forward to the next chapter!

Yup. Total stealth brag. Which has now turned into a petty bit of spitefulness that can never be undone.

Your son became defensive and said she’s given him support. He didn’t like what you did. Why can’t you accept that and listen to him? It was a bit weird to put the post up anyway, he hasn’t won star of the week, he is a grown adult whose achievements are his own.
The fact that you’re not listening to him and continuing to argue the toss over a stupid Facebook post means that you value bragging more than you do your relationship with your future DIL and by extension your son. I’d have a good think about that as it may well come back to bite you.

Because the post and your deleting her comment caused issues.

That post to your son and his fiancée isn’t a nice post anymore. It’s a dig at her. While it stands it’s a continued dig at her to them.

Send a nice new home card jointly with a gift hamper and hope all can be swept under a nice new rug.

Yup, that’s the law. Soon as he’s married he legally has to go no contact with you.

you don't want his fiancé getting any credit for the home he's bought but you're basically doing the same thing by posting. It's very 'look what my son has achieved' and alludes to you wanting credit for bringing up such a fabulous and sensible young man.

i hope you haven't also been daft enough to buy a congrats on your new home card and only address it to him

OP you don’t sound very nice.

OP AIBU
MN yes
OP no I am not.

Absolutely this. My PILs alienated me, and now DH is NC with them.

Ah, our house was funded by my DH too.

my MIL is quite like you….and now, regardless of who put the money in to our home, she’s actually not allowed to visit.

I wish your son’s future wife all the luck in the world.