AIBU for deleting the FB comment?

[ThisFastEagle]

So my son just bought his first house and I'm beyond proud! He's worked hard for this and it's a huge achievement. I posted a congrats message on FB, tagging only him, and mentioned how this has always been his dream. His fiancée commented on the post saying 'we're excited for our home' and 'we're looking forward to this next chapter'. Thing is, the house is in his name only due to her credit issues. I felt like she was overstepping and taking credit for his achievement. We've had a long distance thing going on initially when he moved for work and she later joined him. I deleted her comment and had a word with my son about it, asking him to maybe clarify my intentions to her. Was I wrong to do so, or was her comment just a bit much?

You love your son, that is clear and I hope you take this with the kindness i intend. Even if your intentions were to celebrate him, long term if you hurt the people he loves, he will take distance from you. He seems already upset so you might want to listen to what he is saying, even if deep down you feel you are right in what you did.

Actually thinking about it. Do people still post shit like this on Facebook?

What did she do to make you dislike her so much?

Only the over 60’s and those with joint accounts 👀

What horrible, petty thing to do.

No one has said you don't. I'm really proud of my son too, but I tell him that. Why the desperation for everyone else to know how proud you are of him, no one else will remotely care. You were unnecessarily unkind to the woman he is going to marry, not a wise move at all.

You're deliberately excluding her, not v nice.

Presumably she will be contributing to household expenses, maintenance, etc once she's living there.

Took her little prince away

The only reason for you posting on FB in the first place was to show off to anyone who might read it. Why not just congratulate your son privately? Also - buying a home is not the earth-shattering achievement you seem to think it is, people do it all the time, so you don’t need to celebrate as if he has just flown to the moon. Get over yourself, get over your golden balls son, and stay in your lane. Feel sorry for this girl having you as a future MIL.

My son's girlfriend comes from a family of millionaires. They (and I say 'they') bought a house last year, 90% of which was paid for with help from y her family funds - he had managed, by living with us working and saving to get the other 10% and far from being revolting and snooty about it, her family love and respect him as much as they would if he was from a loaded family too (he's totally not sadly!)
Your reaction is disgusting and petty. I hope they realise that and have as little contact with you as possible

I think you’re out of line. The DIL was being nice and you were nasty in return. You could’ve left her comment it didn’t take away from yours.
Now you’ve upset your DIL and your son, instead of being open to understanding another point of view other than your own, you are more interested in digging your heels in to be right. Your son won’t pick you when push comes to shove, you’d do well to remember that.

This reminds me of those videos when the MIL ruins the gender reveal or engagement by thinking she's the main character.

You keep saying “imagine if the roles were reversed and it was a woman’s mother posting about her daughter’s “achievement” of buying a house”. I can’t imagine this scenario at all because most people would allow the actual house buyer to make a Facebook post about buying their house. If my mum posted on her Facebook about me buying a house I’d wonder what was wrong with her because it’s my news to share not hers 🙄

It will be a marital asset when they get married. I expect your son is mortified by you.

Beyond embarassing and completely unnecessary

You seem mean.

Actually I don't think there's anything wrong with congratulating your son on his own achievement. Mumsnet always acts like mothers of sons should vanish and forget they had a child. There's nothing insular about still having a one to one relationship with one's own child. Frequently the advice on here is for DHs to deal with their own families in other circumstances.

However you should have just done that congratulating privately. Social media is a very open platform and it's open to anyone else as you've found out.

I'm afraid by deleting her comment you've made yourself look mean and mealy mouthed. She is unlikely to have meant to offend you and when they marry it will be her asset too.

Will any New Home cards just be addressed to your son too? Buying one bath towel as a present? Comes across very much like you feel as though she's not good enough for him due to her past errors, she probably already feels crap and you've just solidified it.

You sound awful 🤣

Look at the OP's post on her son's response. Seems they share an apartment, bills and everything else, reducing his outgoings - aiding in his saving to buy the house...

She's a bit more than your cocklodger. And the man actually appreciates her contribution - emotional and financial.

They will definitely go low contact with you. Maybe see any grandkids twice a year?! That will be HER accomplishment you see

“I’m a total nightmare of a mother in law.”

That's really not the case. Plenty of younger people still post about their 'little man/princess' or my personal favourite, 'the boy done good' on birthdays/Christmas/Valentine's day.

She wasn’t claiming it was her achievement, though.

She was simply saying they’re excited to moving into their new home. Because it is their home as they’re getting married and are both going to be living in it.

Is this a reverse or what, because surely nobody is this openly unpleasant and petty.

And there it is. You already resent her.
Let me guess, she’s not good enough for him?

You have a rocky road ahead.