Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

[PReggoDuck23]

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

Your family are wankers.

I’m partially deaf and get this allllllll the time. It IS a big deal.

Your family are nasty arseholes

Despicable and utter cunts. I would be inclined to kick them in the face

I’d just take the decision to leave in the morning, it might make your family see you are angry with them. Their behaviour is outrageous.

Married to a man with a stammer - if my family had EVER in the last 20 years behaved that way, id have been utterly mortified.

Im so sorry for you as your family are a reflection of you and their behaviour showed ignorance and a lack of emotional intelligence.

From my experience, putting him at ease with family and being supportive will help him relax and decrease his stammer, the opposite also being true. You follow his lead with how to handle it, my husband sometimes jokes if hes particularly struggling to lighten the mood.

And whilst he doesn't stammer much these days, when he does my family know to wait patiently. Even our youbg children know to wait for Daddy to finish.

If I were you, a calm and considered chat with your family is in order to help them realise the short and potential long term affect of their behaviour.

Please give your DH a great big hug from me, my son has verbal dyspraxia and I know what is like, your family are cunts to put it bluntly.
But you carry on being the better person and tell your DH that he has a good one in his corner xx

I don't think it's fair to ask your partner to decide what to do in this situation. He's in a very uncomfortable position with bullies, while trying to show up for his pregnant partner.

I think you need to decide how best to handle your family and implement it. I would have left already tbh, though understand it's a very emotional thing to have to do.

How rotten for both of you this is how your family choose to get their laughs.

I’d go no contact with anyone who behaved like this and unless they completely change their ways, made a very sincere apology and meant it etc I also wouldn’t let them see anything of my children either! Do you want people around who bully and belittle the father of your child?

This is sad, I have one child who mispronounces certain words, he’s been made fun of. Like you I’m highly protective of him because of things like this . You both must feel very upset. How horrible of your family.

I don't think I'd be waiting for the morning to leave tbh. Your poor husband.

Your poor OH. Your family members have been utterly unpleasant, pig-ignorant, and ableist. I would get up and leave immediately. Hope you show them this thread.
For your OH
for your family members.

Oh your poor DP, and totally lovely of him not insisting you go straight home.
You have to step up here OP, he's putting up with this crap for your sake.
Time to leave.

You family are vile. How dare they mock someone like that

Personally I would be packing out bags and going home, leaving a short sharp text to them that their behaviour was disgustingly and until such time as they all apologise and mean it you won’t be having anything to do with them

I would also mention something they may be sensitive about and say how would they like it if that was mocked

My brother is has a slight speech impediment, he is also tea-total and not laddish. He is the loveliest person and I would be absolutely beside myself with rage if anyone dared treated him this way.

I know it must be hard because you will have been brought up with this kind of “banter” (bullying) as normal but it isn’t right and they have made him feel bad about himself, which is unforgivable.

Make a stand, tell them how dreadful they are then go home tonight with him and take some time to work out what to do going forward.

I have a speech impediment and my late DH was deaf, so often mispronounced words - and was thus careful of which words he chose in non-family company. If someone had said this to me (or to him) I would have been hurt to the core and also embarrassed. Why don't you leave your lovely family to get on with their ablist jokes and go home with your OH, who needs your support?
Your family are horrible.

Agree! He has said ‘up to you’ but he means ‘yes’ (but doesn’t want all of the onus put on him!), don’t make him stay with these people it’s not fair!

make the choice for both of you and tell your family you are leaving.

they will make the same excuses again but DO NOT waiver until they profusely apologise to both of you and start to toe the line!

how would you feel if it was your child they were doing this to? Advocate for all of your new little family now!

Just tell them you are both tired and want some relaxing time on your own and go home.

Horrible behaviour from your family. And if done in ‘error’, when pointed out that it was off, they’ve just doubled down in the way that bullies do.

Ah OP, you sound lovely. Not sure how with that family of yours, but well done! Don't let them gaslight you into accepting this shit behavior by saying you/he are over sensitive or hormonal. They're really behaving like arse holes. I would leave and tell them exactly why. The family you make over the family you come from, every time.

Yanbu.

Your family are truly awful OP!! I would have packed up and left immediately…and told them why!! Utter wankers! I’m so angry on your OHs behalf!! 🤬🤬🤬

That’s bloody disgusting what an awful way to behave poor guy.why did they think it’s clever or remotely funny mocking him. I’d be raging

Why would she need to lie?? She should 100% tell them EXACTLY why they are going home!!

Saying that they're 'only winding him up' actually makes it worse, not better. This means that they weren't just thoughtless, and unaware that they might be upsetting him; they were deliberately trying to upset him. Deliberately winding someone up, especially about a personal characteristic, is a form of bullying. Do they have form for bullying, and/ or do they resent your relationship?