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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

466 replies

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 15:40

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

OP posts:
Americano75 · 08/06/2025 19:48

That's so cruel and nasty. Just go home.

user1471554720 · 08/06/2025 19:50

I have a stammer and everything is 10 times harder e.g. getting a job, making friends. I am in my 50s now but I would leave my relationship if my dh or his family laughed at my stammer. In fact I don"t speak to one or two of the mums at a sport my dcs do, as they laughed once at my stammer. I refused to work with a person who laughed at my stammer and I told HR why. Your DH is too quiet altogether for this world.

Charmofgoldfinch · 08/06/2025 19:50

Your family are bullies OP. To mock someone’s speech is awful, and for them to double down and not apologise when you raised it is worse. Id just go home OP and enjoy a couple of days off at home with your partner

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/06/2025 19:57

If I were you, I’d leave as soon as possible, with your dh, @PReggoDuck23.

And I would tell your family that the reason you are both leaving is because they are nasty bullies and their comments were mocking and deeply unfunny. And you will be going low contact for the foreseeable future - until they are prepared to apologise properly to your dh, and to you for the hormonal comment.

Mic drop, walk out, and mean every word.

BellissimoGecko · 08/06/2025 20:00

Your h sounds lovely, and your family sound bloody awful - classless, bullying, toxic. Your dad thinks ‘a man’s man’ drinks? You can’t be a man if you don’t drink? Ridiculous.

WeatherDependant · 08/06/2025 20:03

Lozza70 · 08/06/2025 15:42

Sorry but your family were being complete arseholes. You need to stand up to this and defend your partner. It’s not acceptable for adults to behave like this.

100% agree

Cherrysoup · 08/06/2025 20:05

Completely appalling of them. I absolutely cannot imagine my family behaving like this, it’s disgusting. I’d be gone, no way would I stay after the first comment. Shock8ng.

SENNeeds2 · 08/06/2025 20:06

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 08/06/2025 15:44

I would have left with my partner. I think it's incredibly rude of them. A joke is only funny if both sides think it is. Go and speak to your partner and tell him you think they were outrageous and does he want to leave. I would further say to your family that it wasn't funny to it was hurtful. They have a choice: they can apologise and he might consider accepting it. If they choose not to, it will affect your relationship going forward and that will include a relationship with you and your child.

This - you need to draw a boundary I can’t imagine my family disrespecting anyone in this way but if anyone did that to my partner they would be asked to leave

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 08/06/2025 20:08

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 16:38

yeah he gets migraines every so often, not loads but enough that I know when he says he’s got one he’s not faking it. he’s had the speech thing since he was a kid, it’s just how he talks. worse in the evenings or when he’s stressed which this lot aren’t exactly helping with

and yeah english is his first language, he was born here same as us. that “english pls” comment really got under my skin tbh. like what are they even trying to say?? just makes him feel small for no reason

they’ve always been a bit judgy about him not being into sport or drinking. like my dad’s always made little jokes about how he’s not “a lad lad” and my sister’s said before that he’s a bit boring. but I always thought it was more of a personality clash thing not full on mean spirited, until this trip

feel like I’m seeing it all properly now. you’re right tho I prob do need to take the lead a bit more, he’s too polite to say anything but I can tell it’s getting to him. I just hate that I’ve brought him into this environment and now he’s uncomfortable in what’s meant to be a family holiday. gonna chat to him again after dinner and maybe see if we just pack up in the morning and head off x

OMG please take this more seriously OP! Your partner clearly is lovely and doesn’t want to cause a fuss. But he needs you to stand up for him. Def leave in the morning. The fact he said it’s up to you, means he feels too awkward to say “yes let’s leave”.

Brunts12 · 08/06/2025 20:09

Just wow! Your poor partner, OP! I’d tell your family that they are nasty bunch of bullies! Pack your bags and set off home tomorrow. Let them brew in their unpleasantness.

Bobnobob · 08/06/2025 20:10

They are your family OP, so I’d give them one last chance

’You treated OH appallingly last night, mocking him for something he can’t help. He’s too nice to say anything but I won’t have it. If it happens again, we are leaving.’ .. then be prepared to leave immediately if they respond badly

Next time someone suggests a family trip just give them a flat no and say it’s because they can’t treat him with respect.

PicaK · 08/06/2025 20:14

As everyone says, op, your family are wanky cunts

Your DH otoh seems a real keeper - quiet thoughtful unassuming and quietly putting up with your family to give you a nice time when you're pregnant.
Keep the lovely DH - leave the nasty family. Well maybe not leave, read them the riot act and set your boundary. It's what your DH deserves

Sedgwick · 08/06/2025 20:15

Your family were rude and unkind. My family do a lot of leg pulling but this is just nasty, not funny at all. It isn’t your hormones.

You and your DH sound like a lovely couple. I would see a lot less of your family until they show their manners have improved. I certainly wouldn’t go on holiday with them again.

Trendyname · 08/06/2025 20:18

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 16:38

yeah he gets migraines every so often, not loads but enough that I know when he says he’s got one he’s not faking it. he’s had the speech thing since he was a kid, it’s just how he talks. worse in the evenings or when he’s stressed which this lot aren’t exactly helping with

and yeah english is his first language, he was born here same as us. that “english pls” comment really got under my skin tbh. like what are they even trying to say?? just makes him feel small for no reason

they’ve always been a bit judgy about him not being into sport or drinking. like my dad’s always made little jokes about how he’s not “a lad lad” and my sister’s said before that he’s a bit boring. but I always thought it was more of a personality clash thing not full on mean spirited, until this trip

feel like I’m seeing it all properly now. you’re right tho I prob do need to take the lead a bit more, he’s too polite to say anything but I can tell it’s getting to him. I just hate that I’ve brought him into this environment and now he’s uncomfortable in what’s meant to be a family holiday. gonna chat to him again after dinner and maybe see if we just pack up in the morning and head off x

Horrible of them to not care that he would be self conscious.
Hope you have left. Let your family know you won't tolerate these jokes at your partner's expense.

Alwaysalert · 08/06/2025 20:22

The fact that he knew they were looking at him and listening to him just to hear any error or slip up, will have put added stress on him. Currently I am not well (too much to go into) but I have suddenly started forgetting the word I want to use and not being able to substitue with another which I have always been able to do. That makes me self conscious and when there are a couple of people in the conversation group, it makes it 20 times worse. It was totally rude, ignorant and bullying of your family and they just showed how nasty they truly are. There could be something seriously wrong with your partner for all they know and this may be a symptom or it could be that he was over tired, or anxious around them (I used to be like that when I had to speak at work where there were bullies and they could be rude or take the mickey - if it was out of work they would have seen/heard the real me because I would have told them in no uncertain terms, and with some choice language, but at work you have to be so careful unless you are up the boss's behind and I have never been like that, so I just used to ignore them but feel really anxious and then feel so self conscious and low).

I do feel that you should take yourselves out of the situation and try and enjoy the rest of your holiday together. Don't get in a row with them 'cos you will just get more stressed - if they ask why you are going just say "If I/we have to explain then there is definitely something wrong with you all and we are not wasting another minute of this holiday" and then leave.

Dpresst · 08/06/2025 20:23

Pack up and go OP. Your family are disgusting.

Cherrytree86 · 08/06/2025 20:25

Your family sound horrendous OP. Sorry you’re both having to deal with this.

theDudesmummy · 08/06/2025 20:27

I would leave immediately if I were you.

Lesina · 08/06/2025 20:30

Your family are cunts.

Rewis · 08/06/2025 20:31

I think the key here is how they reacted when asked to stop. Let's assume for a second it is all in jest and good fun. When specifically asked to stop, the only appropriate reaction is to say "sorry, we will stop" and then actually stop.

I think the key here is when they blame your partner not having a sense of humour is to say that it has nothing to do with what they said to him. But more about how they refuse to have basic respect when specifically asked to stop and how their banter is more important than making their child and their partner feel comfortable. That it says a lot.

alcoholnightmare · 08/06/2025 20:33

Your family are totally out of order.

Confusedmeanderings · 08/06/2025 20:34

F

millymoo1202 · 08/06/2025 20:35

Your family sound awful

alcoholnightmare · 08/06/2025 20:36

I think the best thing you can do for your totally innocent partner in this scenario is head off in the morning and assure him and show him that you've 100% got his back and are disgraced by your family on this one.

Coarsepepper · 08/06/2025 20:36

Your family sound vile. Thank goodness the apple has fallen far from the tree in this case. I would just leave with DH. He shouldn't have to put up with this nastiness. They sound like a bunch of teenage bullies