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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

466 replies

PReggoDuck23 · 08/06/2025 15:40

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

OP posts:
SuperTrooper14 · 08/06/2025 17:46

Your poor DP. My DP has a stammer too and my family would never dream of being so cruel. I don't mean to alarm you, but stammers are often inherited down the paternal line – our DD developed one as well and needed speech therapy when she was small. Maybe point that out to your family and ask if they intend to be raging arseholes to their grandchild/niece/nephew as well? Honestly, I just couldn't be around people that did that. You should go LC/NC.

thepariscrimefiles · 08/06/2025 17:50

Your family have behaved like horrible school bullies. Not only were they shockingly rude but incredibly cruel. Only ignorant cunts make fun of people with speech impediments. If I were your partner, I'd say that I didn't want them round the baby.

YesHonestly · 08/06/2025 17:50

You make the decision and you leave, show your boyfriend you have his back 100% and won’t allow him to be treated like this.

Your family are vile, I’d be showing them this thread so they could see what people think of their disgusting behaviour and I’d be having nothing more to do with them until they all sincerely apologised to your partner and changed the way they treat him. Poor guy.

meercat23 · 08/06/2025 17:52

OP I don't usually comment on threads about family issues but I just have to say that your family sound quite unpleasant. Here is hoping none of them get some kind of illness or condition that makes them look, sound or move differently. I am guessing they wouldn't take well to having that laughed at.

As for him being too sensitive, rubbish. Anyone would be upset at family constantly laughng at them like that. Again, guessing they would be quite a bit more sensitive on their own behalf if the tables were reversed.

I think I would be heading home too and certainly never going away with them again.

TesChique · 08/06/2025 17:52

I'd have packed up and left the arseholes to it.

What abhorrent behaviour towards your partner!

Thoroughly unpleasant people

MrTiddlesTheCat · 08/06/2025 17:53

This is just like my family. A pack of bullies. My advice, pack up and go home, but make it crystal clear why and keep away from them until they are prepared to apologise.

Juliedcymru · 08/06/2025 17:53

My husband has severe speech impairment as does my young adult s . It’s a neurological genetic symptom / thing. Your family must learn that this is akin to making racist /disablist jokes and not on. How you do that - it’s up to you. You spell it out or you go cold, quiet and remove yourself. Sometimes actions speak loudest. one way or another they need to learn the behaviour is inappropriate and to not do it again/ ever. Your child may inherit the same condition, they need to know that they cannot treat your child in that same way..
Good for your partner in removing himself and hopefully sending a very clear message.
your family must learn to listen harder if they are having problems understanding your partner - that is on them not on him . He has the right to express himself tell stories the same as anyone else.

Roselilly36 · 08/06/2025 17:55

That is really uncalled for, no wonder you’re upset, I would be too.

Alwaystired23 · 08/06/2025 17:57

Yanbu. My son is 13 and has a speech problem. He's come home from school a few times and said there are kids that have taken the mick out of him. To be honest, they're kids, they don't know better, but adults? Pathetic. As a mother of a child who has struggled I worry about this sort of thing happening to him in the future.

ButItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 08/06/2025 17:59

'He's being too sensitive' is the universal cry of bullies being called out for their shitty bullying behaviour.

Your family are arseholes.

Picking on someone with a speech impediment like s stammer. There is NOTHING funny or humorous in their behaviour. It's bullying, pure and simple, and they've doubled down. I'd be going home.

MissyPants · 08/06/2025 18:00

I have a stammer and it sounds similar to your DP's and I can confirm your family were completely out of order. He would have felt so belittled. We need support not mocking. I would have been very offended by their behaviour if I was your DP in that situation and I would have made it known to them.
He is now avoiding them because of their dispicable behaviour.
They owe him a full apology, however he is unlikely to ever forget it.

WearyAuldWumman · 08/06/2025 18:01

Your family sound like awful people.

lifeonmars100 · 08/06/2025 18:02

Ugh, they sound vile, sorry I know they are your family but that is downright nasty and cruel

DipsyDee · 08/06/2025 18:04

Your family are being extremely ignorant and if I was your oh I would have nothing to do with them until they apologise. Who in the hell do they think they are?

2Magpies24 · 08/06/2025 18:05

Do your family usually take the piss out of disabilities?

Lancrelady80 · 08/06/2025 18:06

Tlds

That behaviour belongs in the playground. from p1

No, it doesn't. Any child in our school caught doing that would be absolutely hauled over the coals, especially if getting others to join in, and their parents would be informed at the end of the day. If they still seemed not to understand why it is despicable behaviour, or if repeated, their parents would be being called in for a formal meeting.

Absolutely despicable behaviour mocking someone for something completely out of their control.

pestowithwalnuts · 08/06/2025 18:07

How horrible they are.
I'm glad your. DH has you on his side

morden123 · 08/06/2025 18:07

My husband has a stammer and when we were young it was pretty bad especially in situations like this, being with my parents etc. My parents would never have behaved like this but I think your husband should tell them personally rather than you and let them know how despicable they've been. I've just asked my husband how he would have handled this and he said he would have told them.

Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 08/06/2025 18:07

The bantering bullies the domain of the thick and stupid.

Imisscoffee2021 · 08/06/2025 18:08

What a bunch of knobs. It's only funny if the recipient of such "humour" also finds it funny. Anyone with an ounce of emotional intelligence would have seen he didn't, so it's not a joke it's a piss take ans very unkind.

Spinachpastapicker · 08/06/2025 18:09

Tiredandtiredagain · 08/06/2025 16:39

Oh the “too sensitive” comment, said by arseholes when they’re called out on shit behaviour.

So unkind

Yeah bullies always try to make out it’s always the other person’s fault - they are usually too thick to self reflect on their awful behaviour.

Noshadelamp · 08/06/2025 18:09

I don't know how you're still there, especially as you say you feel protective of your dp.

You know they're nasty bullies, you know your dp is upset, you know they're trying to gaslight you.

I'm guessing that they've always been like this but you're only just realising now so you feel a bit unsure what to do.

We're telling you, what you do is leave.

PrincessOfPreschool · 08/06/2025 18:10

That's so awful, OP. I feel furious on your behalf, and DH's. It's just going to make it so much worse. I would seriously consider going NC for a while and see if they get it. If they don't then stay NC because that would never ever happen again.

Bonbon21 · 08/06/2025 18:10

Why are you waiting til tomorrow? Do you have your own transport?
Go now!!
Stand up for the father of your child..

blueshoes · 08/06/2025 18:11

You had no idea growing up that your family are dickheads? This cannot be the first time they have laughed at disabilities.

You should show full support for your dh by leaving the den of bullies immediately and going no/low contact from now on. Your poor dh. He does not need this.