Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

[PReggoDuck23]

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

This. What horrible behaviour from your family.

“hope he’s gonna be able to pronounce the baby’s name” like what even is that??? just felt like a punch to the gut.

I can't believe you let her say this in front of him and didn't tell her to shut the fuck up!

Honestly, you need to work on stepping up. Yes, you're family are in the wrong but you don't come out of this looking like a great partner, either.

Your poor DP deserves so much better than that.

I’m glad you made the (right) decision to leave.

I wouldn’t go away with them again or invite them over again.

OP has told them it’s unacceptable and is leaving the holiday early, what more do you want?

If she started effing and blinding, she’d lose the moral high ground and her family would say she’s aggressive and act like the wronged ones.

She’s played this all out perfectly.

Good point. They knew, enjoyed it, and wanted that effect on your DH. Bullies, as we have all said.

Why would their endanger themselves by driving at night? They could be in a rural area with unlit country roads.

That is awful. I think I’d go home. In what world can anyone think this is ok ??

If he was my brother and you weren't pregnant I would be advising him to get away from you and your disgusting family.
They sound like real low class, mocking a person's speech impediment.
Who even does that?
The dregs do.

I am cringing for you OP.
Are you married if not, I would be telling him to never marry into such an uncouth bunch.

You need to think long and hard about your scummy family because he should refuse to ever be in their company again, and rethink the relationship on the whole.
Nasty oiks.

So if it was me, I'd be telling them what's what and they'd be left in no uncertain terms that they are arseholes and I'm not putting up with them.

But I think you've been bullied by them all your life and don't know better.

But the are bullies and at some point in life we need to stand up and be counted.

You're about to bring a brand new life into this world. Isn't it bad enough that they've already tainted your life so much already?

You have one chance to make sure your baby is never exposed to their toxicity. You don't even have to go as far as never seeing them, you just have to be prepared to stand up to them and know that's your last resort but that you will take it if you need to.

Family means love. Love isn't bullying. Bullies aren't family that count.

Be strong and be a new you.

Your family sound like absolute beasts.

When people say ' you're hormonal ' or ' too sensitive ' it is a gigantic red flag for someone who does not take accountability.

Your family have traits of an unpleasant dysfunctional family with manipulation, gaslighting, mocking, undermining and zero accountability as the typical currency. The phrases of too sensitive, you're over reacting etc will be common I imagine.

I would fuck them right off as much as possible after that treatment of your husband. Absolute dicks.

And while I understand you're used to them bullying you OP, as an outsider, you keeping quiet while the bully him is obviously a learned behaviour - keep quiet so you don't get the brunt of it.

But you do have to learn to stand up, even if you're quaking in your boots, because its one thing for you to say nothing for you, or your partner, or for him to also stay silent, but what about your baby?

Abuse happens when people stay quiet just because they are relieved it's not them. If you won't stand up for yourselves, how will you stand upmfor your baby?

Same thing has happened to my DC too from a similar age. It's disgusting how grown adults think it's acceptable to mimic, mock and laugh at a child with a speech difference. If they'll do it to a child then poor OP's partner stands no chance.

Yep my dad did it to my toddler son. I haven’t seen him in over a year…

I have a speech impediment, until I was about 40 I had people making for the way I talked, sometimes as though it was a joke sometimes just as all right nastiness.
I hated it.
If I was yoir partner O would be seeking to remove myself from your family
I have nearly six decades of speech impairment and even now I do not know what is so funny about a disabled

Your family are awful. Sorry.

Yanbu to be upset and when your mum said “he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up” you need to be very firm in letting them know that he’s not too sensitive, they’re being very unkind and it’s upsetting for both you and him. Also apologise to your partner about how unkind your family have been (and ask them to do the same). Your family sound awful to be honest and if this kind of behaviour carries on I’d tell them that they’re unlikely to see much of you or the baby until they can stop the rudeness towards your partner as it’s too upsetting for both of you.

Good for you that you are showing support to the father of your child. I am very confident and well spoken but rubbish at pronouncing words that I am not familiar with. My family understand that ,and are sensitive and encouraging. Definitely home time for you tomorrow.

She should be able to stand up for her partner in the moment, in front of him. Having a quiet word after the fact and then just allowing the issue to continue unchecked is not good enough.

I would never allow my family to speak to my partner like that and I'd be PISSED if he allowed his to mock me and said nothing.

The moral high ground has absolutely nothing to do with a person's choice of wording but sure, clutch your pearls 🙄

Message them all when you get home and say you’d love your baby to have an extended family but if they all keep being nasty and taking the piss out of your partner then your baby will just have the two of you because nobody is welcome at our house if you can’t be polite, and you’re ashamed of them all.

And call your mum and say you’re very serious and you don’t want to hear one more it’s just a joke because it’s not, it’s nasty bullying. So if you want to tell me to lighten up or he should be able to take it, or any crap like they mean well, don't call and don’t message. If they mean well then they will work their butts off to never be nasty again, and if they don’t well they will just never meet their nephew/niece.

Your family sound horrible and you sound like you are doing the right thing by leaving. Your OH is obviously different to them and they somehow feel threatened so resort to bullying behaviour. Lesson learned and no more family holidays. When you get back I suggest you make it clear there is to be no repeat or they won’t be seeing you, your OH or your baby.

Well done for standing up to them @PReggoDuck23 and bless your OH, he sounds absolutely and very lucky to have you - just not the in-laws. They’re utter fuckers.

What nasty horrible vile people.
How dare they all gang up on someone with a speech impediment that he can’t control.
Im glad you’ve had a word op and got to the bottom of if he has a migraine or not.
He needs you to support him and take the lead into getting him home and completely away from this despicable pack of wolves.
Before you go make sure you tell them the reason why you’re leaving.
They should their heads in shame.

They are a bunch of tribal, narrow minded bullies.

Well done for not turning out like them. I’m afraid I think you need to keep them at a distance, particularly when your baby is very new as if they do this then, one of both of you will go ballistic. It’s a very raw, vulnerable and exhausting time.

Poor fella. I haven’t read every response but Jesus on a bike, will they take the piss if your child has something different about him/her? Your family sounds horrific.