Family mocking partner’s speech - AIBU to be upset?

[PReggoDuck23]

Bit of a rant really. We’re on a UK break with my family, just a cottage thing in Wales. Me, OH, my parents, my sister and her fella. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and just feeling a bit raw anyway tbh.

So my OH’s got a bit of a speech thing. Not a full stammer but he struggles sometimes with certain words or says stuff wrong, mispronounces things a bit. I’m used to it now and usually know exactly what he means. He gets worse when he’s tired and it’s been a long few days. We’ve been walking loads and it’s not exactly relaxing.

Last night after dinner he was trying to tell a story and got stuck on a word. Tried like 3 times to say it and my dad and sister just started laughing and taking the piss. Doing voices and repeating it back to him all wrong. He tried to laugh it off but I could see he was gutted. I told them to pack it in and they were like oh calm down we’re only joking. Then my sister said I’m just hormonal.

This morning he said he had a migraine and stayed at the cottage. Might be true but also reckon he just didn’t fancy spending the day with them after last night. Can’t blame him.

I said something again to my mum and she just rolled her eyes and said he’s too sensitive and they’re only winding him up. But I don’t think it’s funny at all. I feel really protective of him and also just really sad he’s been made to feel like that. It’s meant to be a nice time away before baby comes and now it just feels crap.

AIBU to be upset? Should I have said more?

Oh, OP, I’m sad you felt you had to lie and say you have things to do rather than saying they have ruined your break with their bullying ways.

As others have said, a joke is only a joke when everyone laughs.

Stay strong with your OH.

Over the last 10 months I’ve developed a speech impediment as the result of facial palsy I can’t say P’s and B’s. I often have to repeat things and it’s harder over the phone. If someone spoke to me like your family speak to your husband I’d tell them to “f… off and more, and I never swear. I wouldn’t have anything to do with them ever again.

You do need to tell them why you're leaving. Maybe do it just before you go, pack the car up tell them and just walk out. Nasty bullies.

Is your sister prone to Mean Girl crap?

You can't have them doing this to your DH or have your child hear them mocking their dad. I had that with my grandparents and hated them for it and resented my mum for not stopping it. Still do to be honest and as an adult I can see my dad is very flawed, while your DH has done nothing wrong he's just being bullied.

Omg OP they are vile bullying scum. I think you should message them when you get home and tell them the real reason you left, and say if they don’t accept they’re wrong, apologise and promise to never do it again, then you’ll be cutting contact and they won’t be seeing your baby. I would honestly never want to see them again. Cunts.

Gosh how nasty. Poor guy has probably been dealing with it most of his life. My son has a stammer and we've already come across strangers mocking him 'as a joke.' he's only 3.

Oh my god this is absolutely horrible. Go home and make a stand. Your partner and you and your unborn baby deserve so much better than this.
They need to learn a lesson.

I think you and your partner are handling it brilliantly. You can’t argue with unreasonable people. Your family are behaving unreasonably and quite nasty too.

Have a lovely day together, you sound like a lovely couple. Having a day together to reset is a great idea.

You and your partner have your own little family now with baby on the way. You do things your way. 💐💖🌼

Yeah they are bullying him. How unpleasant. Good that you stood up to them, but make it very clear to them that only cowards take cheap shots like they did.

yeah we’re defo going in the morning, already packed most of our stuff. I’ve told them we’ve got bits to sort and we’ll head off early. I’m gonna message them once we’re home properly about all this, no point getting into it tonight and making things worse for him

I honestly feel like they’re exaggerating how hard he is to understand on purpose just to make him feel bad. even on our first few dates I understood him fine. yeah he had to try a couple times with certain words but I just reassured him it was alright and we moved on, it really wasn’t a big deal at all. I think they’ve decided to focus on it now cos they know he’s quiet and not the type to kick off. like my sister’s boyfriend is loud and always making himself heard and they bend over backwards for him

I’ve told OH I won’t stand for them treating him like this and he just kind of shrugged and said he doesn’t want to come in-between me and my family. which broke my heart a bit cos he shouldn’t even be in this position. he’s done nothing wrong. I’m so mad they’ve made him feel like this and that I didn’t call it out harder from day one.

Your family are utter cunts! Stammers are hereditary, are they going to take the piss out of your child if they develop one too? Tell them in no uncertain terms that it stops now.

It sounds like your partner might have verbal dyspraxia- my son has this.
what a horrible family you have…

Time to get your brave pants on and stick up for YOUR family (husband and bump), OP. Tell them exactly why you're leaving early and go low/no contact. They cannot get away with this, it's only going to get worse...

Yes - I’d send a message to the whole family once you have left.

“Just to be clear, we are leaving because of your rude, bullying behaviour about X’s speech. It’s not funny and it’s not “banter”. It’s stupid and it’s not needed. If you can’t treat my partner with respect in future then we won’t be able to spend time together. Imagine that was our child, would you bully them and take the piss out of them too? You can say I’m stuck up and have no sense of humour bla bla bla. Whatever. Your behaviour was way out of order this time.”

I would have have gone today, this afternoon. Not sure why you need to wait and drag it out another day? I hope you leave first thing in the morning. Crack of dawn. I'd get away from there asap and I'd have little to do with your family again. I wouldn't even have them have visits with the baby, I'd tell them 'I'm not sure you can behave well enough to see the baby'.

Your partner sounds like an adorable decent man. Your family are horrible. Choose him over them.

Our family is quite a ' piss taking family' however we would only do it if the person was of the same humor . I have an aunt with a speech issue due to an accident. She takes the piss out of herself and we do. Not spitefully and we always laugh with her not at her. But never take it to far.
However If it was someone who struggled and was conscious/ paranoid about it we wouldn't.

I also have a family member who is paralysed and her phone ring tone is ' when your legs don't work like they used to before '
She often jokes she's having a lazy day so using her chair or we will say ffs we got to carry you up the stairs again . But again it's well received banter. If she didn't like it we wouldn't do it.

And they were wrong to say you're hormonal.

Your family are fucking dicks.

This I'm afraid. Not often a thread is unanimous like this one. My DS has disabilities, I am not sure what I would say or do if I ever heard anyone mocking him. Your DP sounds lovely, and they have been cruel to him and deeply disrespectful to you both. I would keep clear of them until/unless they sincerely apologise.

They are indeed low class OP. Whenever I meet people irl who behave like this I think of them as ignorant low life scum. Nothing to do with snobbery in stating that; people like this can come from all walks of life. But then I think that people are only as superior (or otherwise) as their behaviour.

My son has severe speech issues, we deal with this quite often. I'd have hit the roof! You're family are disgusting and sound like complete arse holes.

Your family are bullies.

This is a heartbreaking thread OP. Your OH obviously thinks the world of you to go away with these people. It sounds like they've mocked and bullied him since the day you arrived. Time for some straight talking and strong boundaries.

Wow that was really very mean of them, and it's not good that your mum brushed it off as well. I very much doubt he'll ever feel the same with them again. It's hard as actually they should apologise but that will only embarrass him again. I would talk to them again and make it super clear how awful this is. Do they not want him to be part of the family?! Poor guy, and you. It was horrible. I think all you can do is now be very supportive and protective of him.

All the best OP, your family sound like shitty arseholes. Glad you are sticking up for your partner who sounds wonderful.

That’s the saddest thing I’ve heard in ages! How anyone can mock a 3yr old is beyond my comprehension. Sending a hug to him and all of you who love him.

So glad you’ve made a plan OP. Your family are very unkind and uncaring and don’t deserve you or your lovely H. I hope you have a happy day tomorrow.

Do make sure your family know how unacceptable their behaviour has been and that you aren’t putting up with it any more. put in place some measures and boundaries to protect you and your H and stay firm.

Best of luck with the pregnancy!

You're right to support him. What awful behaviour!