To be disappointed by weekends

[TellMeWhyIHateSundays]

Every week I look forward to the weekend - yet everytime it’s a disappointment. I have a busy job (NHS doctor) so not much time to do anything in the week. Due to my early starts I’m still awake and up by 7am most weekends. The rest of the family (DP and DD15) are still asleep and prob won’t surface tlll gone 10. Im already bored. DP is a light sleeper so I can’t do anything that makes noise incase I disturb them.
By the time they’ve woken and sorted themselves it’s nearly noon. Then we have to do all the jobs that can’t be done whilst DP is asleep. I’d happily leave them till the evening and enjoy the day - but DP is insistent they must be done first. By this time it’s too late to make the most of the nice weather. I can’t even go out for a walk or activity whilst they’re asleep as getting ready, using the en-suite etc is too noisy.

Tgats the other thing. We both have busy lives and my way to relax is to get out and enjoy fresh air. But DP’s is to watch Tv. I don’t even really like much TV and especially not when it’s sunny outside! But DP is very keen that we do things together. So I end up sat on the sofa watching repeats of a box set I didn’t enjoy first time.

So Sunday comes round and I feel frustrated again I’ve wasted the weekend when there’s lots of things (simple things like going for a walk) that I wish I’d done.

Ive started volunteering for extra weekend shifts at work because it’s more interesting than staying at home

AIBU to want more from a weekend?

This!

It sounds like you may be a little afraid of your partner. He needs to compromise more and if he does get woken up in the mornings by you making a teeny noise is that the worst thing ever - he can just go back to sleep? It’s not like having small noisy children jumping on you who refuse to leave you alone

I can't imagine being so passive about my weekends.

DH often sleeps late - I'm an early riser. I just get up and get on with my day - sometimes that means housework, sometimes it's walking the dog, sometimes I go out and have breakfast with friends. It would never occur to me to tiptoe around him all morning - he can wear earplugs if he doesn't want to be disturbed by normal household noise.

I also wouldn't let someone else dictate when housework can be done - if he wants to sleep late and then do chores, he can, but I wouldn't be sitting around for him - make your own plans and go out!

You're over thinking (which I'm sympathetic of, I'm guilty of doing that far too much myself!)
You're going for a walk, not attending a fashion show.
Shower the night before.
Stick a pair of trousers, t-shirt, underwear on back of a chair ready to just sling on when you get up the next morning.
Take yourself off for breakfast in a cafe or a walk somewhere.
If anyone wants to get up and join you, great, if not, just go!
Enjoy. Life's too short waiting around for other people to want to do stuff and you'll end up missing out.

Just carry on being disappointed in weekends then. It's not an unsolvable problem, you just can't be arsed.

You want change but seem to be unwilling to change. It is quite common, You sound stuck,

Suggest you start with trying a small change. Lots of great examples given. Think of it as an experiment and see what happens.

Go out with your friends instead, OP! @TellMeWhyIHateSundays go for a hike with them or a bottomless brunch or whatever you like!

leave your boring husband and daughter in front of the telly!

Give your DP some earplugs, tell them you’re getting up and going out early to do something. Also let them know you’ll do the jobs in the evening when it fits your days plans better.

Repeat after me = I am an adult and can make my own choices with what I do on my day off

Saturday - get up go for a walk, swim, gym, meet a friend, sit in the garden. Arrive home noon for jobs. Evening box sets. Sunday- as Saturday, except substitute jobs (which will have been done the previous day) for an outing. Would that work?

Yes there is so much more fun to be had in the weekends! In the 2- para description of yours there’s so much you can take ownership and convince your DH or allow him to find solutions for himself, to allow you to start the days the way you want to!

YABU being a passenger your own life

You are being ridiculous. The solution is in your hands.

My DP is the "morning person" round here, but I'm not a controlling arse who tells him what he can and can't do. Of his own volition, he pops his next day's clothes on the landing so he can get ready without disturbing me in the morning.

Luckily, I don't have an en suite. But surely it's not behind your whit to just keep a spare towel in the bathroom, you don't have to move the ones you use. And a shower gel and shampoo for this weekly irritation.

Also, tell him to wear some earplugs and an eye mask.

This is a 'you' problem I'm afraid. Take control of your life, they're your weekends too!

It’s a bit silly that you can’t get up and dressed in case you make to much noise. Surely by 8-9am they can either get up or just go back to sleep?

Your partner insists on you watching tv with him? Who made him your boss? Is he controlling in other ways, ie, with meals, housework, sex?

Time for you to start insisting on things you want instead of letting him rule the roost.

Weekends are for living.
Generally im awake at 7.30am.
I leave running gear downstairs night before and go to toilet, brush teeth then get out for a run or to gym if weather not great. Then i collect food shop. By time im back DC are awake with TV on. I put washing in, coffee on and relax for half hour. Then I do kitchen clean and hang washing out.
If DH wakes up unlucky. Im not wasting my days.

This can be solved so easily it's ridiculous. Get up get dressed go out if you want to or don't go out and just do the jobs that need doing. Why are you pandering to your DH and DD. Why are you so worried about waking them up that's not your problem. The making you sit and watch the TV when you don't want to is your problem just tell him you don't want to watch the TV and go and do something else.

Just set an alarm on your phone to do this the night before.

Do what Mark Zuckerberg does and just were the same clothes in different colours so you don't have to think, especially at the weekend. I do and the sky hasn't fallen in

Why is everything dictated by what your husband wants to do with absolutely no consideration for what you want to do? Why does he get his way every time?

God forbid you leave the house without showering! 😱
Im sure you’re mature and professional in your job. Apply the same thing to your weekends.

Nah couldn’t be doing with that. Decide what you want to do and do it! For me it’s meeting friends for a run or a walk. I love being outside. Why do your DH’s needs trump yours?!

The weekends aren’t the disappointment here, your partner is. He sleeps in for the morning and then dictates the activities for the rest of the day? And you’re not even allowed to have a shower in case you disturb him?

Nope, nope, nope.

What’s with all these weekend threads of people complaining because their other halves have different body clocks to them, but when given a solution they don’t want to hear it?!

Last week was the woman whose husband and daughter got up too early, this week they’re getting up too late 🙄

You sound very young, but have a 15 year old daughter, so you can’t be. Just make your own decisions, your husband is not the boss of you. You’re lucky enough to have a house with two bathrooms, so use one of them at whatever time you like. Your husband and daughter can wear earplugs and/ or turn over and go back to sleep if you do happen to disturb them.
You are a highly educated, professional woman and you are letting your husband rule the roost. If I were you , I would give that some serious attention, rather than be concerned about boring weekends. Perhaps use the extra money from your additional weekend shifts to pay for some counselling to give you the opportunity to reflect on what you are getting out of this relationship.

Yes you are. You’re a bloody doctor FFS! Why are you being so passive?