To be disappointed by weekends

[TellMeWhyIHateSundays]

Every week I look forward to the weekend - yet everytime it’s a disappointment. I have a busy job (NHS doctor) so not much time to do anything in the week. Due to my early starts I’m still awake and up by 7am most weekends. The rest of the family (DP and DD15) are still asleep and prob won’t surface tlll gone 10. Im already bored. DP is a light sleeper so I can’t do anything that makes noise incase I disturb them.
By the time they’ve woken and sorted themselves it’s nearly noon. Then we have to do all the jobs that can’t be done whilst DP is asleep. I’d happily leave them till the evening and enjoy the day - but DP is insistent they must be done first. By this time it’s too late to make the most of the nice weather. I can’t even go out for a walk or activity whilst they’re asleep as getting ready, using the en-suite etc is too noisy.

Tgats the other thing. We both have busy lives and my way to relax is to get out and enjoy fresh air. But DP’s is to watch Tv. I don’t even really like much TV and especially not when it’s sunny outside! But DP is very keen that we do things together. So I end up sat on the sofa watching repeats of a box set I didn’t enjoy first time.

So Sunday comes round and I feel frustrated again I’ve wasted the weekend when there’s lots of things (simple things like going for a walk) that I wish I’d done.

Ive started volunteering for extra weekend shifts at work because it’s more interesting than staying at home

AIBU to want more from a weekend?

Stop tip toeing around everyone else in your household. Obviously don’t go banging and clattering or hoovering while they are asleep but using the bathroom etc isn’t that noisy and if it is it’s for a short amount of time and won’t really disturb them that much.

Why can't you just get up, shower and go out?

DH sleeps in late at weekends, I just get on with whatever I need to do. It wouldn't occur to me to sit around bored while I wait for him!

Early mornings are the best time to walk. I have seen deer and lots of other wildlife when it's quite. You are using excuses for your lack of motivation. Also tell your DP to live his life and stop trto live yours too.

Why can’t you use the family bathroom rather than the en-suite?

If the roles were reversed and my DH was an early riser, I would struggle with him using the en-suite, even quietly as I such a light sleeper and I hate that I am but can’t change it.

However, I presume the main bathroom has a shower - kit it out with duplicates of toothbrush, toothpaste, shower gels etc and towel and use it at the weekends.

Why are you letting your husband dictate how you spend your time?
That’s your problem!

Because Im not organised enough to arrange moving the towels and toiletries to the main bathroom the night before! Nor to getting my clothes out - I have enough stress trying to decide what to wear on the morning!!

Good grief, go to the gym or something.

Then it's kind of your own problem? Very easy to fix but you don't actually want to so continue to sit by yourself in the morning and sulk

You're being an absolute martyr.

Get your clothes ready the night before. Shower in the evening. Don't use the en suite to brush your teeth.

This is a problem of your own making.

I get up hours before my partner. I just take my clothes to the living room to get dressed and go about my day. I wouldn't deliberately wake them, but if my day involves running the dishwasher, washing machine, vacuum or lawnmower so be it. I wouldn't be tiptoing around them.

This is sad to read. Fair enough to leave your child to it but there’s no way I’d let my husband dictate my life like that. Find your own thing and go do it. Fair enough to be a bit considerate (my husband tends to stay up later than I do so he’s quiet when I’m in bed) but I wouldn’t expect him to sit in the dark in silence.

I don’t understand why you can’t put on clothes and go for a walk. If you are worried about noise, don’t bother with the shower until you come back. Going out to work can’t possibly be any quieter than getting ready for a walk.

Then stop complaining if you're unwilling to do the most basic things to sort it. Pants, bra, socks, leggings, t shirt. There, you're welcome.

Your DP is controlling. Divide up the jobs between you and say you’ll do yours at a time to suit you.

Then, if all they do is sleep and watch TV, take yourself out for the day: cinema, country walk, pub lunch, bike ride, museum or gallery, watch or play a sports match, go for a run, go to a National Trust house and garden or a village fete, or the beach. Endless possibilities.

I appreciate you’d prefer company but if DP and DC’s won’t stir I’d go without them.

And stop letting your DP dictate how you spend your limited free time.

God I’d rather be single that watch TV in the dark than sit in the sun!

buy dupes of toiletries for the main bathroom
have a weekend outfit that you don’t think about and just put on.
is there a park run near you ?

you DP sounds dreadfully controlling.

I had this and now have a plastic box in my bedroom with a day's worth of exercise kit ready to go. I move it into the bathroom or downstairs the night before

So, this is entirely a situation of your own making then.

Wow OP, take control of your mornings, all of this is entirely solvable.

And your DP is dictating too much also.

There seem to be pretty easy solutions to this but you’d rather sulk? Either get a tiny bit organised or continue to “waste your weekends”.

It sounds like what you actually want is for the rest of your family to wake up at 7am like you do, which I don’t think is particularly fair or realistic.

As I said by duplicates of bathroom things - they are not expensive!
Clothes - what is there to decide? Bra, undies, jeans, jumper, t-shirt and socks.

What do you do when you have to get ready for the extra shift at the weekend that you have volunteered for?

You sound incredibly passive, of course you can get ready and go for a walk while your partner is asleep, just do it.

I sympathise…but I have an autistic son who often refuses to leave the house and go out. He is too young to be left alone and too old to be carried. Feel very trapped sometimes, and it can also be hard on my other child who does want to go out. In your situation I would go out on my own

Use the family bathroom and just wear a t shirt & jeans and go out without them. Its like your purposely looking for a reason to sulk.

I get up early both Saturday and Sunday, spend a couple of hours at gym, then on Sunday I’m home as family Are making a late breakfast. Win win! If you prefer being outdoors go for a walk or a run or a cafe. Mornings are the best time to enjoy yourself imho!