To be disappointed by weekends

[TellMeWhyIHateSundays]

Every week I look forward to the weekend - yet everytime it’s a disappointment. I have a busy job (NHS doctor) so not much time to do anything in the week. Due to my early starts I’m still awake and up by 7am most weekends. The rest of the family (DP and DD15) are still asleep and prob won’t surface tlll gone 10. Im already bored. DP is a light sleeper so I can’t do anything that makes noise incase I disturb them.
By the time they’ve woken and sorted themselves it’s nearly noon. Then we have to do all the jobs that can’t be done whilst DP is asleep. I’d happily leave them till the evening and enjoy the day - but DP is insistent they must be done first. By this time it’s too late to make the most of the nice weather. I can’t even go out for a walk or activity whilst they’re asleep as getting ready, using the en-suite etc is too noisy.

Tgats the other thing. We both have busy lives and my way to relax is to get out and enjoy fresh air. But DP’s is to watch Tv. I don’t even really like much TV and especially not when it’s sunny outside! But DP is very keen that we do things together. So I end up sat on the sofa watching repeats of a box set I didn’t enjoy first time.

So Sunday comes round and I feel frustrated again I’ve wasted the weekend when there’s lots of things (simple things like going for a walk) that I wish I’d done.

Ive started volunteering for extra weekend shifts at work because it’s more interesting than staying at home

AIBU to want more from a weekend?

To hell with them OP I'd be doing all the jobs I needed to do and if they don't like it I'd tell them to use earplugs then I'd be off out.
Life is far too short for this kind of nonsense. I like getting up early and seizing the day.
I can't imagine anything worse than sleeping in until 12.
I'm an NHS podiatrist and I need my weekends to stay sane.

Precisely!

I get this, also work within nhs, drained when the weekend comes and get cabin fever. Staying at home until the afternoon gets my nerves up for the weekend and feel just as drained returning to work from doing not much?

Has anyone spoken to you about coercive control? Your life is being dictated by this woman, if she doesn't want to stay home alone she needs to negotiate.

If they want jobs doing first then get up and do then early so your not wasting the day

it’s not time together if they’re lounging in bed

sorry I’d be setting out at least 1 activity I d want to do at a weekend and then working that into a schedule

I’d sit everyone down and agree a week ed plans that works for everyone’s priorities

I'd be banging saucepans together and playing Metallica but that's probably why three husbands failed to tolerate me as a wife 😂

Get a white noise machine for your bedroom. It’ll take a day or two to get used to but then your husband will be able to sleep with you doing things

Your wife sounds very controlling and I wonder if you need to take some control back. I would get up, shower and get yourself out for an early morning walk. To be fair you could even throw clothes on and shower when you get back if the fancy takes you. You only get one life and you deserve to have some time for you doing the stuff you like. Take control back OP.

You must go for a wee and brush your teeth before they get up so getting dressed isn’t really going to make any more noise. Leave your clothes in the other bathroom or downstairs, that’s what I have to do with bedclothes when coming home after nights.
Go for a walk or run or gym whatever while they sleep

@mandroid not in the slightest bit concerned. OP is in good company. I have a senior stressful job and I make enough decisions everyday, I can’t deal with them on a weekend and sometimes a simple decision about what shoes to wear is too much. Very common amongst my colleagues also who are the decision maker all day in the roles.

This is a joke right? Why on earth would you let your partner dictate what you do at your weekend?

Just get up, do the housework and get out. Don’t be beholden to someone’s slothful ways. Does your partner work?

As for can’t be on their own - unless your partner has a big back story you’ve not told us, that’s absolutely pathetic!

Can’t be bothered to get up but won’t let you live your life?

But then you need to grow a pair and stand up to your ‘partner’. There’s no partnership here 🤣

You need to make plans. On your own if that’s what it takes. I like going to the theatre, so much so that I now go every Saturday 😃😮 got to seize every moment, not sit about moaning you’re bored.

Why don’t you go and do stuff?! Nobody is holding you back!

💯

Leave them to it and go and do something you enjoy!

I may be selfish but if I need to get ready to go out in the mornings I will 🤣 if I have plans on the weekend I will tell my partner that I’m out Saturday morning or whatever and he will expect me to be getting ready.

if he wants a lazy day he will easily go back to sleep or chill out on the sofa if he wanted.

my partner isn’t massively keen on walking whereas I am, so I will try and ask friends first if it’s sunny or he will come on occasion.

we also tend to have one lazier day where we will have a lazy morning, a bit of housework and shopping and one day at the weekend where we go out for the day or a walk etc. I find this balances out as we are tired from working all week but get to have a bit of both at the weekends.

Wow, no offence but you have an incredibly dominating and needy DP!
I like to have a lie in but DH wakes up early, even on the weekends.
I have my earplugs and sleep, he does what he needs to do or wants to do.
Your DP sounds spoilt, selfish and dull!
I hope at least some of your needs are met because from what you describe, she likes things her way and you don’t really get a say in things. It shouldn’t be like this but you allowed this to happen.

Where on earth do you work as an NHS Dr where you get every weekend off 😂
I digress, this sounds like an awful situation for you. Does your DP work? Sounds like she is unhealthily attached to you. Get up and do whatever you want on the weekend, this is YOUR time off too! You have absolutely earned the right. If she wants the cleaning done first thing but doesn't get up to do it, then she can bloody well do it herself when she decides to drag her arse out of bed!

You need to stop allowing this situation . Lay out your clothes etc the night before in the living room/kitchen - anywhere and tell your family you won’t be around first thing because you are fed up with the late starts and are going to try something different. Maybe go shopping or to a gallery or just a walk and suggest meeting up either way them when they surface for lunch/brunch. Be honest, say you want to do things together but box set repeats are not doing it for you, but you are willing to compromise

I'm an early waker too. I often sneak out of the bedroom at about 6:15 at the weekend. I love my early morning time! I mostly knit or read, but lately I've started doing work (teacher - planning and marking), so I don't have to do it later. I could easily slip out for a walk if I wanted (and shower later). I don't see why you need to try and time your return for when your dp gets up. Hanging around wasting your time because she 'doesn't like solitude' is ridiculous. You sound like you are treading on eggshells a bit.

ALSO what an example to set your teen DD! My mum would let me lie in but no way would she be quiet. It was her house!!

There would be hoovering, dishes, bathroom use, you name it. Yes I could stay in bed til around 10 but sod pussy footing around me. Then when I was 16 I got a job and had to be out by 8. Your DP and DD should definitely not be holding you back from living your life at the weekend!

Boo bloody hoo. If she wants it doing, then she needs to get her arse out of bed and get it done.

And how needy that she can’t spend time on her own whilst you’re prioritising her sleep.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. If I have a lie in and DH wants to vacuum, I just pull a pillow over my head. Equally he likes to go out for a long walk sometimes whilst I’m snoozing. I’m asleep so I don’t even notice.

Don't let your husband dictate to you for a start. I'd leave him sat in his shit pit and go out without him.

Why is he dictating your weekend? Ur enabling it by letting him.

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