Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

[Mall03]

Out with friends last night - one has been travelling so I’ve not seen them for over a year. She asked me why I’m not on Instagram anymore; I replied I turned 30 years old and grew up - she laughed.

Another friend who was present (and uses IG) said my reply was rude and that I insinuated anyone over 30 who uses IG needs to grow up.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

Do you think my reply was inappropriate or did my friend over react?

You know what you did, either own it or apologise.

Do you usually make comments like this?

I know a couple of people who do the same, and they're insufferable.

Not to upset more people but Instagram these days is really for 'old' people, i.e. Facebook is for 60+ and Insta probably for 30-50, with a fair few kids using it too, but not posting much. Anyway that's beside the point...

Whatever reply you would have given though, it wouldn't have been that well received. I get a lot of messages along the lines of 'hey, I don't see you on LinkedIn/Facebook/... anymore, did you block me?' or 'I see you haven't posted for years, are you ok?'

What can you really respond? It's a bit of a strange thing to ask, right?

I might reply 'I just prefer life offline these days' (not adding 'scrolling is the new smoking'😇or whatever else i'd like to say) but I feel that's equally rude. Not sure what a good response to this question is.

As for your friend... You probably need to know your audience. Sounds like that person isn't close enough to you to have honest conversations with, or someone that looks for offence in everything, so you may just have to keep things polite and superficial with her going forward.

do people in their 20s even use Instagram?

I like Instagram, you only follow what you are interested in and you get content of actual interest to you, but I am old.

*Mall03 *
you sound more "cringe" that youngsters who might be using it, in saying you are too good for it, you sound ridiculous.

How incredibly babyish of your friend to be ‘in a mood’. People have different opinions. She should either have taken it up with you or shrugged it off.

Odd remark as people of all ages use many different social media platforms.

ot to upset more people but Instagram these days is really for 'old' people, i.e. Facebook is for 60+ and Insta probably for 30-50, with a fair few kids using it too, but not posting much

cross-post, I though so 😂

Looking at the extensive use of FB for school parents, and local events, I'd say FB is for any "boring" adult (like me) dealing with kids and ...local things 😂

I do see what you mean. When people ask why I don’t have TikTok I tell them I’m 33 🤷‍♀️. They know it’s kind of a joke and no one has ever taken offence, so maybe it was your tone/delivery or your friends took it personally. I think it probably came out a bit blunt and there was a better way to phrase it e.g. you’ve lost interest as you’ve grown older, or you used to be into when younger but not anymore etc.

It was a joke, me and my friends can take banter and wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but some people are sensitive. It was a case of you not reading the room, and your friend has taken your comment as passive aggressive, so just apologise and move on. And instagram now, isn't all about immature people doing silly dances, there’s lots of insightful accounts about food, finance, interior design etc that can be very insightful to the over 30s!

This. It was a pointed comment.

Agreed. Surely you're not dense enough not to see the undertone in what you said?

Well, not even an 'under' tone. Especially backed up by your 'cringe' thought.

Facebook definitely for older people (I dislike it and don't use it, but I know several people who do). Insta, not sure, my DD (18) and her friends use it a lot. Most of them seem to have private accounts and post stories for their friends, rather than "posts" as such. And they watch a lot of reels.

Yeah if you knew they were still on it then you come across majorly superior and rude, sorry. There are much better ways of answering

Yes this. My son says Facebook is the snapchat for old people 😂

People are so touchy ..!

Hallelujah - good answer. There are an awful lot of precious little Misses getting their knickers in a twist about OP's comment.
It was a throwaway remark.

If I was your friend I would find your comment rather judgemental and condescending to anyone who was still on Instagram. Plenty of people run successful self employed businesses and use Instagram for marketing and are aged above 30. Should all those just quit using it because of their age? Very strange. Fair enough you quit it but why be so sweeping in your condemnation of others still on there. I don't blame your friend's reaction.

There’s a lot of it on the internet and there’s a lot of it on mumsnet!

It was very rude and judgemental. If someone is away travelling then it’s a perfect place for posting photos, I’m fact isn’t photos the whole point of Instagram? I’m 50 and never been on it, but my 65 year old sister in law runs her crafting business from Instagram. She’s the most grown up person I’ve ever met 🤣

Does it really matter? When did it become such a big problem for other people to have a different opinion?

So what if the OP did sound (or even intend to be) a little bit judgemental. Does it really matter? Why are some people so insecure in their own choices that someone else thinking it's a silly thing to do bothers them so much?

Honestly it's ridiculous.

I can see why she took it that way. Perhaps if you said i turned 30 and grew out of it, It wouldn't have sounded as provocative. If that's what you meant then just say sorry if the way i phrased it sounded rude. I meant as i got older i lost interest in it.

If you did mean it, then say that it's just your opinion that it's for younger people and that you wasn't directing it at her. so if she likes it then it doesn't matter what you think. No need to take it personally.

Wow, ladies, I am surprised by the tone of some of these responses.

It's not a big deal and your friend overreacted. YANBU.

care to elaborate?

It was an awkward phrasing but she's reading too deeply into it.

I don't understand this...