Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

[Mall03]

Out with friends last night - one has been travelling so I’ve not seen them for over a year. She asked me why I’m not on Instagram anymore; I replied I turned 30 years old and grew up - she laughed.

Another friend who was present (and uses IG) said my reply was rude and that I insinuated anyone over 30 who uses IG needs to grow up.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

Do you think my reply was inappropriate or did my friend over react?

There are lots of amazing recipes on IG, yes. Can’t comment on gardening or crocheting, but probably the same. Of course doing is better than browsing, but for a bit of inspiration, I’ve found many nutritious meals that I’ve them cooked up from IG posts.

Do they have the links to the whole recipe or is it just a clip and you have to try to figure it? Or pause the clip and write it down?

I do browse online recipes in general but I thought Instagram was short videos so I'm confused! I have noted down a recipe from YouTube and it did take a while so wondering if the same for Instagram.

I browse!! Inspiration is always lovely and you can't learn it all from just doing. Especially in gardening (but I have the oldies I talk to who know a lot 😂) one must learn things from somewhere and I'm open to the somewhere just didn't know instagram was a thing.

your friend over reacted.

I’m 62 and use Instagram 🙈 I’ve only used it in the last couple of years! I swore I never would, but I did and now I’m hooked 😩 I loved seeing my colleague who was travelling the world’s photos on there. I am definitely immature though!

see this is how I see it! 62 year old here!

Some are useless, or some you have to comment to be sent the recipe. But if you find some good accounts to follow that give you the whole recipe then you’re sorted!

I mean it was obviously meant as a quippy comment, but I could see whysome people would be offenended. I also got of FB and Insta because I outgrew them so I understand how you feel.

You were trying to act superior by saying you had "grown out" of Instagram and if course that's a judgement on people who still use it. Tiresome really.

Of course your reply was rude.

Gosh people are oversensitive. I don't think your comment was rude some people just don't like social media and that's okay.
I think it's actually in immature that someone was upset by that.

There’s definitely a difference between browsing IG, and using it to post duck-lipped pouty selfies with silly slogans like “vibing” written over them in big neon letters. If you’re still doing that at 62 then your friends would need to have a word!

Oh dear. That really was a rude, judgemental comment that will make her think you’re jealous of her travel pics. I don’t use Insta anymore but wouldn’t say that to my friends who do. I think you need to sit quietly with yourself and ask what your intention was when saying that and why you felt you needed to. It’s ok to act like a knob as long as you own it and apologise. By the time you’re
40 you’ll have grown up even more and might think it but not say it. Own the apology. It’ll feel good. Good luck!

Yet there you are at 30 using the word “cringe”.

Instagram is about posting pictures of yourself - very different.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

That WAS what you were saying. And you should own it rather than pretend you meant something else. Just know that implying anyone who is over 30 and on IG is immature and juvenile will cause offence to some people.

Did you really grow up though? Seems to me you are still stuck at the bitchy school playground phase.

I don't use Insta to post pictures of myself. I post pictures of things I've seen that interest me, holiday snaps (that don't feature me or indeed any person). Most of the Insta accounts I follow do not feature photos of people at all - or if they do, they're modelling something (eg, a bag).

Not everyone uses Instagram to post a bazillion photos of themselves.

You haven’t grown up op

Completely unreasonable, the correct response was that you no longer find it engaging.

Your comment implies that you feel you are more mature and superior by not having it any longer. I distanced myself from a friend who emigrated because they constantly told everyone back home that they had emigrated for a better life for their children, the suggestion being that we were all dragging our kids up. Her children did not end up in better employment, with better family networks, better friends or better lives.

I love Instagram for saving my holiday pics, seeing what my wider family are up to, cat and horsey clips, recipes, knowing what to do with my lavender at the end of summer so it comes back, house inspiration. All childish stuff ya know, I’m so old I should have grown out of this stuff.

Yes I agree, although op if you often make those kind of digs because it was a dig then perhaps think why you felt the need to say it. But you’ve obviously hit a nerve and perhaps she knows she spends too much time on it or does feel bad about social media use. We only usually react to things that hit a nerve.

I agree with your sentiments about IG - but I wouldn’t have voiced them. They would sound judgemental and rude, I’m afraid.

I don’t think it would make the friend think she was jealous. I would think the friend would think op thinks she’s a vacuous immature person and it’s that which has hit a nerve with her.

Hmmm, I’m over 60 and use Instagram. I’ve probably only ever posted 5 times, but I follow some wonderful travel tip pages, some investment pages, airline points pages, dog rescue groups, sporting teams.

Your comment was condescending. If you don’t want to use Instagram, don’t. But it doesn’t make you better than anyone who does. What a ridiculous thing to imply.

48 and enjoy instagram. It’s not just for young people. Though they probably follow different people to me. My current favourite is ‘cycling around the world with my dad’ - now I seem to have lots of suggestions for similar, so also following someone cycling to Australia, and a couple who are walking to Vietnam! Annoying the photo suggestions I get are of dead people, assume it picked up on my mood my close friend died in March. Now I can’t get of them, and it’s pretty depressing to see photos of people in coffins etc!

But yes that kind of comment is rude. Social media is for all ages, and whilst facebook might be more my age (my teens say it’s for mums!) instagram and tiktok are used by multi generations. So yes, your comment was uncalled for really.

But if you don’t use it how do you know?
As I said upthread I look at garden photos and it just gives me more garden photos to look at like magic!
Recently had a lovely discussion with a woman in Germany about some plants in her garden. Fortunately she could type perfect English.