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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend in a mood with me because of comment I made at dinner

183 replies

Mall03 · 07/06/2025 22:44

Out with friends last night - one has been travelling so I’ve not seen them for over a year. She asked me why I’m not on Instagram anymore; I replied I turned 30 years old and grew up - she laughed.

Another friend who was present (and uses IG) said my reply was rude and that I insinuated anyone over 30 who uses IG needs to grow up.

That’s not what I was saying (although I do find it all a bit cringe these days if I’m honest!).

Do you think my reply was inappropriate or did my friend over react?

OP posts:
Bonjovispyjamas · 08/06/2025 00:18

I'm 58 and only joined Instagram around 5 years ago. It's a great way of keeping in contact with friends abroad and for talking to other fans of a singer I like all over the world.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 08/06/2025 00:43

I mean it was a bit rude, but I think it's OTT to sulk about it.

I'd probably have said something like who wants to grow up and get creaky knees these days, and laughed it off.

BobbyBiscuits · 08/06/2025 00:49

Well it did mean you thought those over thirty were immature for using it. How else could the comment be construed?

But if it was in a lightheaded way I'd still just laugh it off of I was her. You'd have to be pretty insecure to think you should stop using a social media platform because someone made a throw away comment.

If you hurt her feelings then it would be decent to apologise. But neither of you should dwell on it and just maybe make your jokes a bit more subtle next time.

LBFseBrom · 08/06/2025 00:58

Might have been better if you'd just said you had outgrown it.

ChessorBuckaroo · 08/06/2025 01:12

Instagram is definitely for children. The worst is people posting images of food they are about to eat.

MrsEverest · 08/06/2025 01:19

Surely you don’t really think that though? That you needed to hit 30 to grow up, and that anything to do with social media was evidence of it?

I would laugh a little at anyone who said anything as silly as that, and I’d laugh a bit harder if I knew they rushed straight to another social media platform to record my reaction whilst retaining their bizarre sense of superiority.

whitewineandsun · 08/06/2025 01:20

CatsMagic · 07/06/2025 22:51

Come on, it was a dig and you know it otherwise you would have just said ‘no, I’m not on IG’

Don’t be one those people that makes smart arse digs and then gets all upset when you piss people off because of it.

I don’t use any social media apart from Facebook, it doesn’t make me special or interesting or cool.

Agree. At least own it. Good for her calling you out for being condescending.

whitewineandsun · 08/06/2025 01:22

I would laugh a little at anyone who said anything as silly as that, and I’d laugh a bit harder if I knew they rushed straight to another social media platform to record my reaction whilst retaining their bizarre sense of superiority.

Well said.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 08/06/2025 01:27

I think you know why she’s annoyed and that’s why you said it

EconomyClassRockstar · 08/06/2025 01:30

whitewineandsun · 08/06/2025 01:22

I would laugh a little at anyone who said anything as silly as that, and I’d laugh a bit harder if I knew they rushed straight to another social media platform to record my reaction whilst retaining their bizarre sense of superiority.

Well said.

YES!!! Exactly this! If the OP can't see the irony, I give up!

Sunshinestate07 · 08/06/2025 01:48

My guess is that you feel embarrassed that you have been called out for making such a rude and untoward comment and now you’re coming on here hoping people will side with you 😂😂 .. eww. Maybe next time think twice before you try and be funny.

Jumpingthruhoops · 08/06/2025 01:59

By your own admission, you literally replied: 'I turned 30 and grew up' in response to someone asking why you're no longer on Instagram.
So yes, you're comment was rude.

DreamTheMoors · 08/06/2025 01:59

YOU turned 30 and YOU grew up.
It seems people these days look for ways to be offended.
I wouldn’t have thought twice over your comment, @Mall03because I know about intent.
And you intended nothing offensive by it.
Did you?
I don’t think you did, but maybe I’m wrong.

GreyCarpet · 08/06/2025 02:07

Blimey. Are people really not allowed to make lighthearted, throwaway remarks about anything any more in case someone is offended by it?

Not everything has to be a well considered comment.

Never2many · 08/06/2025 02:08

Dear god. Anyone who gets offended at someone else’s non use of social media needs to grow up.

she wouldn’t have been so offended if she was secure in her decision.

I judge anyone who is on TikTok but if they are happy being on there they’re not going to care are they?

RawBloomers · 08/06/2025 02:28

Your friends appears to be feeling defensive about her use of IG. There’s a lot of anti-social media rhetoric going about at the moment so I can see why it might get a bit wearing after a while to have something you still like be negatively commented on constantly. But your comment was obviously about how you felt about it. At 30 your friend should really be more confident in her own choices and able to nod and smile at someone who doesn’t like things she likes.

novanoir · 08/06/2025 02:49

You’re so grown up you had to post on Mumsnet to figure out why this annoyed her.

TheIceBear · 08/06/2025 03:58

It may be a tiny bit bitchy but she is silly to care so much and get in a mood. Plenty of people over 30 on instagram , it’s quite obvious so if it were me I would just ignore your comment.

Noshadelamp · 08/06/2025 04:13

You were being judgemental but your friend has proved you right by her immature moody response.

I'm guessing Instagram has become what facebook did for my older generation, where the younger people grow out of using it like they used to but older people find a new way to use it

You'll probably go back to it in a few years looking for recipes, gardening and crochet.

Stephenra · 08/06/2025 04:20

OP, I'm quite with you because IG can be a nightmare. This is so because of the way some people 'abuse' it: and I have to use the word 'abuse' there because it's relative.

By the same token I loathe and detest Facebook (for many reasons) but I have a page there. But I seldom look at it. I don't let it bother me.

Yeah it was an inappropriate thing to say. Nothing that can be fixed with a sincere apology and a cooling off pariod.

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 08/06/2025 04:39

I feel it's a comment that maybe insecurity can make it more of a big deal than it is? It feels like OP made an offhand comment not with any malice or thought.

Flashahah · 08/06/2025 05:24

That was rude

Fitasafiddle1 · 08/06/2025 05:36

I would have assumed it was a joke and not taken offence at all. It depends how you normally are though, as it could come across as judgemental.
It says more about her insecurity than you tbh. Why make a huge deal over one comment?!

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 08/06/2025 05:41

Noshadelamp · 08/06/2025 04:13

You were being judgemental but your friend has proved you right by her immature moody response.

I'm guessing Instagram has become what facebook did for my older generation, where the younger people grow out of using it like they used to but older people find a new way to use it

You'll probably go back to it in a few years looking for recipes, gardening and crochet.

Is instagram good for recipes, gardening and crochet?! Links to proper recipes not this 10 second stuff?

I don't have social media because I live under a rock cooking, gardening and crocheting 😬 but do I need it is the question 😂

WaltzingWaters · 08/06/2025 05:46

Yes, it was rude. “I lost interest “ would have sufficed. I think the majority of IG users are over 30.
I don’t spend ages on IG/FB but as someone who has spent my whole 18-30’s travelling I do find it a lovely way to keep up to date with what old travel friends are up to with their lives and keep a little communication with them. And it has on occasion found that I’ve been in the same area as some and we’ve met up after 5/10/15 years. I of course have closer friends I’ve met who I keep regular contact with regardless of social media, but these are friends I’d have forgotten about otherwise but it’s lovely to keep that little connection. I do think your comment was rude.

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