Not to leave child home alone

[EmbarrassedMum1]

Me and hubby are have a little disagreement about leaving our child home alone for an airport run.

For context, child is 10 and an overall sensible child, very well behaved and a great sleeper in general. DH and friends are off on a short trip next weekend and need to leave for the airport at 4am.
DH says leave DC in bed because I'll be back in 45mins (1hr max).
I'd planned on getting him up and putting him in the car in his dressing gown, but everyone thinks that's silly.
DC says he doesn't care about being left alone at home but he will ultimately do as told.
So am I being unreasonable to get him up to come with me?.

I wouldn’t leave my 10 alone in bed. I’d tell DH to get a taxi

If he can afford a lads holiday he can afford to pay for a taxi and let you and the child sleep in peace

Exactly.if someone is watching the house or is going by and sees them leaving it would be a perfect opportunity to break in.just saying.not appropriate to leave a ten yr old.

I know it's illogical because its obvious in bed is one of the safest places to be.
But that just doesn't make it right to leave a child sleeping with no adults in the house.

It just doesn't seem right to leave a child at home alone at night.

I agree, it feels uncomfortable, but it's also really selfish to increase the risk on a child by several hundred times, to make us as a parent feel better.

I'm not saying that you're selfish btw, but that as parents we often actually act selfishly, increasing the risks on our children, to make ourselves feel better. And we do it under the guise of keeping them safe, even though in reality it's the opposite.

Like the parents preferring to carry a tiny baby across a busy petrol station, risking being run-over /falling/whatever, compared to keeping them safe in their car, because of a theoretical risk of fire (1-2 a year with 1-3 billion petrol station visits a year) or kidnapping (even rarer).

People are terrible at assessing risk. So many of us get in a car with our child severely sleep deprived (massively increased risk of crashing) but berate a parent for not staying in a room with a newborn whilst they nap.

Should only be an hour (still a long time) but what if there is an accident on the motorway or you breakdown or something so you get stuck out for longer?

Then the OP phones him hands free when he'll be waking up, he'll make breakfast and probably watch too much TV or game.

Alternatively, he could be stuck for that time in a car, with probably no food or drink, bored!

@EmbarrassedMum1 And what if something happens to you or the car and he's all alone? Taxi for the airport.

I'm sure he would have a bottle of water in the car, and given the tie travelling is min could easily plan and pop in a cereal bar or croissant or something. And he could still watch something just via his ipad (or equivalent!) instead of a TV, or do homework on it or read. Or just talk to his mum! Plenty you can do in the car with absolute minimal planning.

Also, he may not have a phone if he's only 10.

True that not all adults wake up for fire alarms either. Ours went off and my reaction was to put the pillow over my head and go back to sleep apparently. Luckily OH woke up and checked (false alarm) or we'd be in trouble!

While I wouldn't like to leave a child asleep (I'd wake them up - though another poster has made some good points about leaving them sleeping being statistically safer) why would you think a 10 year old wouldn't understand their parents leaving for the airport and waking up to find themself alone? Unless you didn't tell them, which would be shitty parenting indeed, but if you tell them the night before then of course they're going to understand - they're 10 not 2!

ffs he can get a taxi. What if you got into an accident

You and child stay asleep and your husband gets a taxi!!! So self serving to think his needs come above yours and your child’s safety.

If he can afford to go away with friends then he can afford a 20-30min taxi ride. Most people wouldn’t ask. Just say no.

There's driving them to the airport and there's having to do this at 4am when there's a sleeping child and it's only 20 mins away.

The DH can get a taxi in this instance.

Yes, but they're 10. And will probably worry.

Or.... Just takes him with her, or DH gets a taxi. Both are preferable to leaving a 10 year old sleeping alone at night.

No way would I leave a 10 year old alone during normal sleeping hours. They’re completely vulnerable if actually asleep. And if they wake up, it’s a potentially scary time to be awake and alone in the house. And that’s assuming they remember where I am, and don’t get themselves worked up in that post-sleep fog most people get.

That’s without considering the potential that something could happen to you that delays you or prevents you coming back at all.

In an absolute emergency, it would be just about acceptable. Not for something optional where a can is completely viable.

Why would they worry if they know where their parents are and when, roughly, they'll be back? Worrying if they don't get back when they say they will, sure, but just worrying because they're alone for a known period of time? Not any 10 year old I've ever known.

I'm gobsmacked that considering how super strict parents in the UK can be about bedtimes and go to any expense to make sure their little darlings are asleep super early and unable to have a later night ever that lots of people think waking a child hours earlier than normal for this is ok. It's insane

Leave child in bed (totally fine in my opinion) or tell them to get a taxi (what mine would do regardless of kids)

I’d tell child the plan and let them sleep. I’d leave a note on the tv in their room so if they wake up they see it.

I’ve done this myself when I had to pop out at 4am, and all was fine. 10 is old enough to be left imo but it comes down to your kid. Mine is a sensible kid who would just stay in bed.

Cheapskate husband and his cheapskate friends can club together for a taxi or stay at the airport hotel.

@NoKnit not everyone is super strict on bedtimes but 4am is the middle of the night.

No guarantee that the child will sleep in the car or go back to sleep when they get home. Which really means Ops left dealing with her own lack of sleep and a grumpy tired child the next day.

While statistically the child would be fine in bed, something just doesn't sit right with me.

A little young I think. Needs to be a couple years older.
If you have to take them and they won’t get a taxi is there a grandparent/aunt/uncle he can have a sleepover with? Or an older cousin he gets along with that can come stay over?

45 mins is nothing and 10 is old enough- how will they ever lead an independent life if they are never given any opportunities to be on their own?