Not to leave child home alone

[EmbarrassedMum1]

Me and hubby are have a little disagreement about leaving our child home alone for an airport run.

For context, child is 10 and an overall sensible child, very well behaved and a great sleeper in general. DH and friends are off on a short trip next weekend and need to leave for the airport at 4am.
DH says leave DC in bed because I'll be back in 45mins (1hr max).
I'd planned on getting him up and putting him in the car in his dressing gown, but everyone thinks that's silly.
DC says he doesn't care about being left alone at home but he will ultimately do as told.
So am I being unreasonable to get him up to come with me?.

I wasn't commenting on being alone in general. I was commenting on being at home alone in the 80s.

Which likely was less safe. Because of a variety of reasons, one being that household appliances were less safe whether in use or not.

If it’s a round trip of 45 mins then a one way taxi won’t cost too much.

I wouldn’t consider driving DH to the airport at 4am, would also expect him to be quiet and not wake the DCs when he left.

OK so if it was riskier then to be home alone in the 80s with all these unsafe appliances ( not that I remember ours giving us any trouble) why are people far more neurotic about leaving kids at home alone now when appliances are safer, mobile phones are commonplace ( if child doesnt have a phone you can just tell Alexa " ring mum" for example) and ring doorbell will show who is at door?

Maybe its a combination of our memories of knowing the uncomfortable or dangerous situations we could get into plus the wider reports of things that do go wrong.

In many ways the most dangerous appliance is the Internet now.

What if you were in a car crash. What if there was a fire. What if DS woke up and couldn’t find you and left the house. What if, what if. Just not worth the risk. Child safeguarding would be investigating if anything happened. Your DH & his mates can afford a taxi between them!

Absolutely not DH would get a taxi/lift

I wouldn’t leave my ten year old alone that long, especially not at night

My sister nearly lost her daughter in a custody battle. I’m not going to go into all the details but it was carefully explained by the family law barrister that leaving a child alone for an hour or so in the afternoon is a very different matter to leaving them alone for an hour in the middle of the night. It also depends on the child’s maturity. It’s not a fixed age because some children reach that level of maturity earlier than others.
so bearing that in mind I would say no way should a 10year old be left alone at 4am. Your DH should make alternative arrangements that don’t affect your son.

I was really quite liberal around leaving our kids at home alone when they were younger. They were both very sensible and I’d often leave them aged 8 & 10 if I had to nip to the shops or drop something at a friends. However the thought of being a 90 minute round trip away on public highways fills me with absolute horror, and there is no way I could do it. With the best will in the world, it only needs one minor incident and your son could be home alone for hours. Absolutely not worth the risk, in my opinion

The internet is definitely the most dangerous thing in the home (and in their pockets) now.

I'd planned on getting him up and putting him in the car in his dressing gown, but everyone thinks that's silly.
I hope "everyone" doesn't include dh's friends or they are seriously cf!

If its only 20/25 minutes in a taxi it would be really cheap between them. I dont know why they wouldn't do that rather than suggesting leaving a 10yr old in bed and dragging you up at 4am.

YABU to be waking him up to take him.
YABU to be going in the first place!

Why are you giving your DH and friends a lift? Why can’t they get a cab?

Just go with your gut feeling. If you are happier taking him then do so. I would definitely be taking him and at even older than 10. It's nothing to do with teaching them to be independent either.

Definitely get a taxi or wake him and take him with you. So many variables that (hopefully won’t) could go wrong….car trouble, for one.

Not worth the risk imho, not at 10 years old anyway. An older teenager, probably yes.

No way, I have a 10 year old and wouldn’t leave her in bed alone. My eldest is 14 so probably would leave both together just about.
I would be asking DH to book a taxi tbh, I don’t think it’s acceptable to get a child up at 4am to give DH a lift to the airport either. Can’t believe he wants you to take him actually- DH or me would be getting a taxi or booking airport parking

I would.

I agree that between being home alone and going there and back in a car, the car ride is the more dangerous part. And I don't see any reason for the child to sit in the car unnecessarily when they can be safer at home.

If you get delayed, they will sleep through it. If you get into an accident, why should the child be in the accident as well?

Make sure they know what to do in case of emergency (what would they do if you fall unconscious at home?) and let them safely sleep at home.

I leave my 10 year old for up to an hour during the day and only if I’m going to be local. I wouldn’t leave him at 4am to do an airport run, no way. YANBU

Taxi.

FFS - less than a half hour taxi trip, and could team up with a friend?

Why is he expecting you to get out of bed and drive both ways at 4am.

Not a chance I would do this.

No you shouldn’t be leaving your 10 year old alone at 4am and you shouldn’t be waking them to go with you either.

It’s a very anti social time for an airport run. Tell your DH to drive and park the car and the group splits the cost or to get a taxi.

I wouldn't have a problem with this for 45 minutes. My children would have been fine to leave.
The child probably won't wake up.
Tell them the night before what will be happening in case they wake up and wonder where you've gone

Only you know your child well enough to make this decision. Have you spoken to them about it? Do you have a plan in place for what would happen if you got delayed? Eg child could knock or ring neighbour who can be on standby? What is ok for one 10yr old, may not be ok for another 15yr old. You need to judge what is right for your own child and your own peace of mind. The internet can’t tell you how to parent unfortunately. Would be good if it could!

It wouldn’t occur to us, when DH has trips he would just get a taxi or a lift at that time.

I do think being left alone at night is far different than the day too, I know my niece was perfectly happy to let herself in after school at 13 but even by 15 in late nights she used to get freaked out at noises (they were rural too).

Sorry, but if you have an accident/break down?

Not worth the risk. Tell him/his friends to book an Uber.

The car crash argument doesn't stack up. If mums in a crash the kid is safer at home.

But leaving a 10yo home alone at night. Just doesn't sit right with me, but I can't really explain why