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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to leave child home alone

251 replies

EmbarrassedMum1 · 07/06/2025 09:52

Me and hubby are have a little disagreement about leaving our child home alone for an airport run.

For context, child is 10 and an overall sensible child, very well behaved and a great sleeper in general. DH and friends are off on a short trip next weekend and need to leave for the airport at 4am.
DH says leave DC in bed because I'll be back in 45mins (1hr max).
I'd planned on getting him up and putting him in the car in his dressing gown, but everyone thinks that's silly.
DC says he doesn't care about being left alone at home but he will ultimately do as told.
So am I being unreasonable to get him up to come with me?.

OP posts:
Nopicplease · 07/06/2025 10:29

I wouldn't even think twice about it. Dc is asleep, very unlikely to wake up. You'll be back in bed and asleep before they wake up.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 07/06/2025 10:33

Nopicplease · 07/06/2025 10:29

I wouldn't even think twice about it. Dc is asleep, very unlikely to wake up. You'll be back in bed and asleep before they wake up.

What if there's an accident and OP is stuck in traffic for hours? That would be my concern here - and it's not unlikely, accidents on airport routes are really common.

Natsku · 07/06/2025 10:34

The obvious solution is that your DH takes a taxi because why should you have to drive him at 4am even without the child issue??!

I have zero problem leaving a 10 year old but I'm not sure I'd like to leave them asleep, I would wake up before leaving and ask if they want to come with (the promise of a nice breakfast on the way back as a pp said could be inciting) or stay home but at least they'd be awake and know what's going on.

The posts about what if you get into a car accident and get delayed returning - I'd certainly rather my child was not in my car with me if I got into accident!!

DoodlesMam · 07/06/2025 10:35

Itsjustnotthevibe · 07/06/2025 09:56

I wouldn't be leaving my 10 year old alone at 4am nor would I be getting him up out of bed. Tell him to book a taxi.

this.

FoodAppropriation · 07/06/2025 10:39

It's MN where posters can't leave a 17yo home alone 😂 - there was a recent thread about this. I wonder how these posters ever survived themselves.

It's not even dark at 4am at the moment!

But he's only 10, and if he's not used to be left alone, just take him with you, and on the way back stop for a nice breakfast together. If you get stuck in traffic you might be longer than you thought.

FoodAppropriation · 07/06/2025 10:41

The obvious solution is that your DH takes a taxi because why should you have to drive him at 4am even without the child issue??!

unclench.
If YOU don't want to, that's your problem, but in many families it's a non issue. People give lifts to each other. I get lifts from my husband at 3am for 6am flights, it's nice.

HundredPercentUnsure · 07/06/2025 10:42

It doesn't sound like you are available to give your DH a lift.

Why can't he get a taxi or public transport?

MattCauthon · 07/06/2025 10:42

I am a big believer in instilling independence in children and have left my children/allowed them out much earlier than many people. DS, in particular, is a very independent child, confident and relaxed being at home alone even in the evenings etc.

I say this to give context... even I would not have dreamed of doing this. DS is now 14 but I'd say until he was at least 13, if we were leaving while he was sleeping, I would wake him up if we had to go somehwere (I wanted to AND so did he) Children of this age don't wake up when fire alarms go off or things happen, and if they do, they're disorientated and confused.

HundredPercentUnsure · 07/06/2025 10:44

FoodAppropriation · 07/06/2025 10:41

The obvious solution is that your DH takes a taxi because why should you have to drive him at 4am even without the child issue??!

unclench.
If YOU don't want to, that's your problem, but in many families it's a non issue. People give lifts to each other. I get lifts from my husband at 3am for 6am flights, it's nice.

Would your husband agree that it's nice? Sounds like a chore to me, your poor husband! 😂

Comedycook · 07/06/2025 10:55

FoodAppropriation · 07/06/2025 10:41

The obvious solution is that your DH takes a taxi because why should you have to drive him at 4am even without the child issue??!

unclench.
If YOU don't want to, that's your problem, but in many families it's a non issue. People give lifts to each other. I get lifts from my husband at 3am for 6am flights, it's nice.

Agree...I'd drive my DH at that time and he would for me too.

justgoandgetpizza · 07/06/2025 10:57

What do people actually think is going to happen?

Letstheriveranswer · 07/06/2025 11:00

Can't one of your DHs friends pick him up? Or maybe take him the day before and he stays overnight near the airport?

It's not fair to wake a child at 4am and you can't leave the child home alone in the middle of the night.

Failing that, have you got a friend who can sleep over so at least he isn't alone with no adults there?

Lolala1890 · 07/06/2025 11:00

I'm very relaxed with being left home alone but I wouldn't leave my kids home alone during the night at 10. I would leave my 13 year old who is well experienced with staying home alone but even last year I wouldn't leave him home alone in the unless I could be home within 15 mins.

For me the distance you are makes a big difference if something goes wrong you need to be able to get back ASAP. What if he wakes upset 10 mins after you leave and calls you to come back your dh would either miss his flight or your child would need to wait alone for 45 mins.

I would tell them to chip in for a taxi.

CatsWee · 07/06/2025 11:03

You’re doing a big favour for your husband, you get to decide the terms. If he doesn’t agree, he can get a cab.

FoodAppropriation · 07/06/2025 11:04

HundredPercentUnsure · 07/06/2025 10:44

Would your husband agree that it's nice? Sounds like a chore to me, your poor husband! 😂

Show quote history

Do you think I put a gun to his head to force him? Or do you think he's threatening to beat me up if I don't give him a lift?

What kind of relationship have you got to make this kind of comment?

"I am off to xyz on Tuesday, taking the 6am flight coming back evening.
Cool, I give you a lift? I can't do evening, but I'll drive morning"

Is a perfectly normal conversation in most houses I know. I know some posters are uptight, but it's ridiculous.

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/06/2025 11:04

Recently started doing similar but DDs are 12&13! It started with train station 20 mins away. Once I had to go to ferry port leaving at 6am. They texted me so I knew they were up, they were leaving for school etc.

10 is too young.

Kurokurosuke · 07/06/2025 11:15

Husband gets a taxi. Even if your child was 20...

Needspaceforlego · 07/06/2025 11:16

Op I'm another who thinks you need a better answer.
Taxi, he gets a lift from a friend, book car into carpark.

I just think disturbed sleep for 10yo just isn't fair, nor is it right to leave him alone in the middle of the night.

I can't really explain why. I don't think it's right to leave him. It just doesn't sit right with me.
The chances of something going wrong at home is remote but still

Springtimehere · 07/06/2025 11:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

beefandblackbeans · 07/06/2025 11:27

I can’t quite believe you’re even asking this.

Snowblues · 07/06/2025 11:33

I have an 11 and almost 13 year old and I wouldn't leave them in your position.

A few times a week they let themselves in from school and are alone for up to an hour, I'll leave one to go drop or pick up the other 5 minutes away but I'm always 5/10 minutes away when they're home alone and they're both very responsible and know the rules we set out for this. So I'm all for slowly building responsibility. That's just too far imo especially whilst they're asleep, what if you broke down or had an accident, there's too much risk in that for me. Is there anyone who can pop round and just be there whilst you go? Otherwise I'd take them without apology.

Bonbon21 · 07/06/2025 11:42

FanofLeaves · 07/06/2025 10:02

No. And the danger probably isn’t that something would happen to your child. It’s that something could happen to you to prevent you coming back within that timeframe.

THIS!

And if they can afford a holiday.. they can afford a taxi..

usedtobeaylis · 07/06/2025 11:47

This would be a no for me - all of it. He can make his own way to the airport. I wouldn't be waking my kid up at 4am for an airport run and nor would I leave them alone sleeping at that time. My daughter is just turning 10 and I've only just started leaving her for 10/15 mins while I'm local - I wouldn't do an hour round trip like this yet. You know your own child and the fact you're instinctively resistant to leaving him says something.

Mishmashs · 07/06/2025 11:48

I’ve got a 10 year old and we leave him for 30-45 mins sometimes during the day when we’re walking distance away in the town. I wouldn’t dare leave him asleep in the small hours for fear of the what if…what if a fire started and he slept through it etc. I know v unlikely to happen but I would be uneasy