Not to leave child home alone

[EmbarrassedMum1]

Me and hubby are have a little disagreement about leaving our child home alone for an airport run.

For context, child is 10 and an overall sensible child, very well behaved and a great sleeper in general. DH and friends are off on a short trip next weekend and need to leave for the airport at 4am.
DH says leave DC in bed because I'll be back in 45mins (1hr max).
I'd planned on getting him up and putting him in the car in his dressing gown, but everyone thinks that's silly.
DC says he doesn't care about being left alone at home but he will ultimately do as told.
So am I being unreasonable to get him up to come with me?.

I wouldn't be leaving my 10 year old alone at 4am nor would I be getting him up out of bed. Tell him to book a taxi.

I left my 10 year old alone, but wouldn't when he was asleep - it feels more vulnerable and he still asks (at 13) for me to wake him up before I go out anywhere. Why can't your husband get himself to the airport without you?

Well, obviously you can't give your husband a lift, OP, and any sensible person wouldn't even ask at that time. Just tell him to book a cab - it's clearly not a long trip to the airport anyway.

It's not about them being sensible it's about situations beyond their control that could happen to you or them.

I have a 10 year old and I just asked her and she said no way would she be happy with that.

Tell your dh to get a taxi.

No. And the danger probably isn’t that something would happen to your child. It’s that something could happen to you to prevent you coming back within that timeframe.

Would you leave them in the daytime?
what does the child prefer?
id ask mine if they would rather be woken or left to sleep

I'd say 10 was too young to be left sleeping. You say DH is going with friends - can't DH or one of friends or friend's partner take them? What about sharing a taxi between them?

Although you're only leaving DS for an hour, you could be delayed coming home, car could break down, you could be involved in a car accident on way home-doesn't matter how carefully you drive, you could be unlucky enough to have some idiot run into you.

Yep!

Your DH needs to book a taxi and stop being so ridiculous.

I wouldn't leave him home alone...what if something happens to you or you're delayed? Or he wakes up and is confused? Dressing gown in the back of the car for a one off early morning is fine...

How is waking a child at 4 am fair on the child they need to get a taxi or whatever

Oh OP. Don't you and DH know that spouses never drive each other to the airport😂
Shame on you

Pp have a good point about what if something happens and you can't come back.

Of course you mustn’t leave him alone at 10! Anything could happen on your car journey which means he could be alone for much longer. If it’s a 1 hour (approx) round trip that means it’s only 30 mins or less there - let him get a taxi!!

I think this is OK actually although I can see I’m in a minority. I’d tell your DS the plan though.

I wouldn’t ask DH to drive me anywhere at 4am, regardless of our children. For such a short ride, I’d organise a taxi for myself and leave everyone else to sleep. I’d expect my DH to do the same.

Why is it "silly" for the 10yo to go but obligatory for you to go? If there's no reasonable alternative to you making the trip, then use your good judgement and instinct and take DS along. It's actually pretty mean of "everyone" to ask you to sacrifice your peace of mind when you are the one who'll feel responsible if something goes wrong (and will no doubt worry while you're out even if everything goes smoothly).

This is pretty much word for word what I was going to say!
Your DH and his friend can get a taxi! Tell him to stop being selfish

Get a taxi. Or he can drive and pay parking. I would leave a 10 year old in an emergency, but not for this.

My DS is 10 and I'd do this. At 9 I left him for 30 mins at night to pick older DD up at midnight from a late event. He was happy with the plan and would have been really pissed off to get up at that time.

10 is too young to be left alone at 4am. A good rule of thumb for gauging whether something is 'right' is to consider how would it look on a safeguarding review if something was to happen...? Also what's the balance of probability that something could go wrong at any point on the process? Left alone in the house at 4am, asleep, and you're out driving.

IME, there are absolutely fewer cars around at 4am but people tend to drive more recklessly because of it - the worst bear miss I ever had was at 2am when a car going 60 (in a 30 zone) jumped a red light, I ended up half on the pavement from my swerve to avoid him and when he pulled over to check I was okay he said he thought it would be fine because the roads were so quiet

You've also got the potential for DC to wake up, they might forget you've gone to the airport or might think you've been gone longer than you actually have (children aren't the best judges of time) and start to fret or panic.

What if there was an emergency? There are going to be no neighbours awake that DC could go knock on for help. If they rang any local family/friends to come over then waking up, getting dressed, etc adds an additional layer of time before assistance can reach DC, etc.

I'm not unnecessarily risk adverse. I leave my 11yr old at home if I'm going to the corner shop or it's raining and they don't want to come around the field to walk the dog, but it's never for more than 10-20 minutes, I'm never more than five minutes away (2-3 if I run), and it's never at night or in the early hours. My eldest was 13-14 before I started leaving them for longer periods.

It's absolutely fine... families do things for each other and there's nothing wrong in them understanding that we sometimes make sacrifices to help people we love. 4am isn't that awful ..I'd have found an airport run in my PJ's pretty exciting at that age.

Put him to bed early the night before so it's easier for him to get up at 4am, take him in his dressing gown, and stop for breakfast at the McDonald's or Greggs drive-thru on the way home. If you live somewhere with a nice view like near the beach then go sit in the car to eat it and watch the sun rise. He'll love the adventure.

As others have said just get a taxi. If it’s only an hour it’s not even a long or expensive trip. Irrespective of the child, I’d expect my DH to do this/he wouldn’t ask in the first place.

A decent husband would get a taxi, not expect his wife and child to get up at 4am to take him to the airport

You know your child and family. I would say it's not out of the question to leave a 10 year old, that you often leave on a Saturday morning to do the shopping and in the evenings to collect a sibling and they are comfortable with it. But if I had never left my 10year old alone before I probably wouldn't choose a 4am airport run as our first time.