To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

How does living together have any affect on showing love?

Ok scrap that

what kind of deeds?

My ex was like that... almost never any sign of affection. It was an issue for me, I'm a naturally affectionate man. I left eventually, but it took me nearly 30 years to do so 😀

I never said we never had any signs of affection.

I find this a really weird question. What do you want? How does anyone show love? Quality time, consistency, security, thoughtfulness, physical affection and sex.

I was just curious what kind of thing you did for one another that showed your strong love for one another

I suppose I was looking for an example rather than good time keeping! But I’m being nosy so ignore me

OK, sorry, I didn't mean to imply that was the case for you.

Eh? Who mentioned timekeeping?

Actions speak a 1000 time more than words ..
It’s different for everyone & once you feel loved & so does your husband, well then 🤷🏻‍♀️☺️

I never heard those words at home, so first I time I told my husband felt weird, almost “fabricated”
I knew I was loved as a child (I know that NOW as an adult , but didn’t feel that way as a child) I now know that love was shown other ways rather than saying it out loud.

How patronising, the same old, you don't understand as you dont have kids 🙄.

Not everyone expresses their love verbally.
OP has said she felt loved by her parents and never questioned it.
The main thing is to feel loved.

I hear it a lot around me and it's mostly surface, no true meaning to it.

I don’t think it’s weird you haven’t told each other.
I (58) have been with my bloke (59) over 14 years. I’m twice divorced. Three kids. He’s never married or had kids. We don’t live together although he spends three or four nights a week at mine. We’ve never said “I love you” to each other. We’ve never written those exact words in cards to each other either although have written things like “Love you loads”. He’s my everything. It’s been at a point in my mind for some years now that if I spoke the words it would jinx the relationship.

I don't live with my partner. I still do things to help him out, cook for him ( and vice versa) take trips together etc. Not sure what's so different to living together and doing stuff.

I have lived with people before and don't do anything different

I'm of the opinion that the people who say "love you" every time they walk out the door or end a phone call are more odd. Surely it loses all meaning? And therefore the one time you are rushed or forget, doesn't the non recipient start wondering if they are still loved?

We tell each other multiple times a day.
It's only weird if you feel its weird. It's unusual, but if you are happy, then that's OK.

We tell each other multiple times a day, and it doesn’t lose meaning. I tell my mother, siblings and dc that I love them too.

My df never said it. I tried out telling him that I loved him as a young adult and he was so horrifically uncomfortable that I never said it again, until he died. He had other ways of expressing himself and I don’t doubt that he loved me, in his way, but it would be a deal breaker for me in a partner.

I definitely don’t think words are meaningless. My teen ds disputes it with me “no you don’t or you’d let me [fill in the blank]” but I’d much rather he remember me as someone who said it too much, than the person who never said it at all.

If you’re both content and happy in your relationship, that’s the main thing.

My Dad always told me he loved me but my Mam never did. I know she does though, but unlike with you, it has always hurt. Especially since my Dad died.

I tell my kids (& DH) that I love them every day. When my kids sometimes tell her they love her like they do with other set of GP, it’s very awkward and she just can’t say it back. Sad for them really. And for her, because she adores them completely.

My husband told me he loved me every day - we are now getting a divorce … saying it and showing it are 2 different things. Words are easy; actions harder so go with the actions !

For me, I couldn't imagine not saying I love you frequently and freely to my partner; however as long as you are both happy and the relationship is healthy then I can't see that there's anything wrong with not! I presume you're both on the same page with it, so it's hardly anyone else's business.
My mum very rarely told me she loved me as a kid, but I have zero doubt that she does and is proud of me.

We’re the same. I just think it sounds a bit cringe, we’ve been together 36 years since I was 14.

My parents never told me they loved me growing up

In fact, from the age of 5 (when my dad left us) until I left home at 18, my mother told me every single day "you are too much like your father, I hate you".

Obviously, this has a profound effect on me, and as a result, every single time I see or speak to my own (now adult) children, I tell them that I love them. I do the same with my partner (we don't live together either).

Not only do I make sure to tell them that I love them (so I'm safe in the knowledge that I'm doing the exact opposite of what my mother did to me), but I feel, probably irrationally, that if I don't say it and something terrible were to happen to one of us before I got to speak to them again, they could think that I no longer loved them, so I don't take that chance.

Even if they've done something I may not like, I'll tell them that "I don't like you much right now, but I still love you", which will usually elicit some kind of remorse from them, either immediately or the next time I speak with them.

It doesn't work like that at all! I don't suddenly think OMG DH doesn't love me (because he had to rush out) - if anything, the reverse is true, and no more so than if we have an argument as 99.99% of people do. In the back of my mind, even if I'm temporarily pissed off with him, I know we both still care and it's just a temporary situation. And it makes you want to make up, to restore harmony (We can't stand conflict). I grew up never being told I was loved, and for a child, having to guess that is really unfair, so all those I love never need to guess. It does shape your thinking. But we're all different,

Has anyone ever said to you “love you” every time you walk out the door?

So the two of you are very affectionate? Sorry not clear

No. Dh and I tell each other we love each other frequently. Possibly 7/10 text messages we send each other ends in ‘love you’. The other 3, I’m not wondering if he still loves me because I’m not 15.