To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

I wouldn’t feel anything about it. One of my parents have died and I never told them either. I’m sure they knew, as I’m sure he does.

Exactly this.

Interesting!

If/when you have kids? Would you tell them? Or just leave it till they are old enough to ‘know’?

My parents never said they loved me. I knew they did. I didn't find it perplexing when I had kids. I didn't go round telling them I loved them either

No idea, I don’t want kids.

My sister has two. No idea if she’s told them but she certainly doesn’t every time she leaves them or whatever.

I’m pleased it’s not just me.

Why do people how disparaging to people in other situations to them? I'm the same as the OP. My DP and I are have been together for five years, don't plan on living together and don't intend marrying. Both of us have been there, done that. However we're certainly not just "dating" 🙄

People can’t seem to comprehend that not everyone dreams of marriage and kids.

Oh, I was on that one. OP was infuriating. Thanks for linking.

I always tell people I love them because I’m worried they will die and i wouldn’t have told them. Several times a day, end of every phone call etc and when I say goodbye.
My husband never tells me he loves me. He was never told as a child so suspect this is where it stems from. I make jokes about it. He jokes about it but still never tells me. I do know he loves me by how he treats me which is far more important really.

My parents were not I love you types, I don’t think my dad ever said it and I definitely didn’t feel it… so I tell my kids daily and used to tell DH - although recently that’s going a bit pear shaped but that’s another issue

I think not feeling it is the big issue.

My parents never said it me growing up and I never said it to anyone. Then I met my current partner and after like 3-4 months I thought wow I actually do love you but wouldn’t say it before him, luckily he told me after 6 months and we’ve not stopped since .

See my sister does this, it’s like ocd and to be honest it’s just meaningless when she says it to me now

Yes. If I was on death’s door I wouldn’t be wondering if the people I loved loved me because they hadn’t said it that day. I’d know they did.

I know.

I can relate OP! Me and DP never say it though have done a handful of times. My parents sound very similar to yours, they never say it but I have no doubt of their love. That said, I tell my kids at least once a day and always when I leave them and plan on doing so always! Not sure why it’s different with my partner, I think because neither of us are hugely into romantic love (the thought of a big white wedding fills me with dread, if/when we ever get married I was a registry office and a pub dinner).

I agree. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to say vows to him in front of an audience.

My parents weren't/aren't the I love you type of parents either, or huggers. Although do love me very much and I them. I do very occasionally tell them I love you. But it always feels slightly awkward. My husband's parents are also the same.

But me and the husband are opposite we tell each other frequently, be it conversation, midway through things, text/phone etc.

But with my children i tell them at every opportunity and hug them lots. Even if the 17YO icks at it (jokingly or course).

BTW I don't find it strange as that you don't say it to each other. For me it would be just the way you are.

I think the only bit I find a little hard to comprehend is that you've never said it all. But each to their own. And if your happy with each other and your relationship then it shouldn't really matter!

I'm not sure my parents ever said "I love you" to me

I never felt anything less than absolutely loved as a child.

I remember both of them using various terms of endearment like "love" and "darling" (and occasionally duck, though that was more my grandmothers) and my dad continued to make a point of kissing us goodnight - even when I visited as an adult, if I happened to be in the vicinity when he was going up. Oh, and one of my enduring memories of my mum is her picking me up and saying "ooh my little girl" well into my teens

H's parents were even less demonstrative, to the point that he thought he might be unable to kiss his sons.. he got over that very quickly, fortunately.

We both made a conscious effort to say it in the early days of our relationship, and every now and then we remember to say it again (usually when we're tired and emotional). Also tried hard to say it to the kids. The younger one would end his uni phone calls with "love you!" so we seem to have vaguely succeeded.

If it helps, most of the vows aren't declarations of love. They're - well, they're vows. They're statements of intent. Yes one of them (in the rites I am most familiar with) is to love and to cherish, but that's more an act than a feeling. You don't stand there and gush, you stand there and promise.

I know. It’s just the idea of standing up and making personal vows/promises to him in front of an audience. I would hate it. I’d hate having photos taken too. It’s not for me.

I just can’t imagine a situation where we’d tell each other we love each other.

Yes!
Every relationship I've had, ended because it just icked me out in the end.

Parents never said love you to me - I have never said it to my husband - he does say it to me - I squirm for some reason! We been together married 30 years!