To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

people don’t keep asking OP. It’s just fingerpie for some strange reason. Spanish Inquisition 🤣

Yes, when they’ve said it to me I’ve said it back or it would’ve felt a bit harsh. To be honest I got the impression with the last one that he thought saying it for the first time was giving me a bit of a treat.

😂Why are so many people taking issue with someone not saying something that becomes more meaningless the more you say it?

We say it a few times a year, perhaps - when we really mean it. If we said it every day, it would just be like saying hello or goodbye. Actions mean everything, words are throwaway.

The people who say it every day, the people who end every phone call with it, t

too much for you
but I tell my two I love them every day
and I will invariably end any calls with “love you” or “remember your mum loves ya!”

Did you actually love this person though?

Why do you doubt she loves him?

That was unfair and wrong of me

I don't think it's that weird. I don't really remember my parents saying it when I was growing up (though they'd put 'lots of love from' on cards) but I was never in any doubt about it and felt very secure, loved, protected and supported growing up. I say it all the time to my kids though. But I'd say it's not a prerequisite for being a loving parent (or partner). Plenty of abusive partners and parents say a lot of 'I love you's when they're not being abusive. It's meaningless if the actions don't match.

I’ve met them but don’t spend much time with them.

I forgot to say I love you to dp when he left for work the other morning- he text me to remind me. We say I love you every day. I tell me dc I love them every day and vice versa. I find it weird you don't.

Many.

Are you a parent?

No, I didn’t. I was just being polite. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually said it and meant it.

Well everybody is different. We do say, Love you Bye and Love you, goodnight, and I say it to friends and family and partner. I guess its part of my natural language, I am not meaning it as declaring undying love every time I say it.
To have never have said the word love at all, I would find it odd. But then as I said, its part of the way I speak to use the word love, a lot.
So, if you and your partner show you love each other in the same way, and that way doesnt include verbal expressions of love then it's not weird for you both, it's your normal.

Because my point was simply was of your own parents never ever said I love you to you, then I imagine it would be at the very least perplexing once you have your own children (presuming you tell them you love the
like @x2boys )

I find the idea of this stifling. Each to their own.

That made me laugh! He sounds like a tit.

If it works for you, it works for you. Some people are very prescriptive as to what a ‘proper’ relationship must look like and, if yours doesn’t fall within their narrowly defined parameters, will dismiss it. Or they’ll get weirdly angry. It’s a bit mad.

I tell my DH and DC I love them all the time, but that’s me. I don’t think that’s the only way to be.

I tell my husband that I love him all the time, because I do. We say “I love you” to the other whenever one of us leaves the house, we say it at the end of most phone calls and sometimes I just randomly text him during the day to just say “I love you” followed by some kisses. Sometimes I’ll be doing some inane activity and he’ll just sneak up behind me and give me a cuddle and tell me he loves me.

It’s not a performance or white noise, it because I genuinely love him and I like telling him that.

I can’t even count how many times I tell my children I love them every day 🤣

I love my husband just like I love my children so telling them just feels so natural.

With regards to actions speaking louder than words when demonstrating love, the way we all act and behave towards each other is also very loving - it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

I mean obviously it works for you it just wouldn't work for me and I think that's why I don't understand.
You know you love him and he knows he loves you so really, it doesn't actually matter what anyone else thinks x

We tell each other all the time, morning, noon and night but we are still like lovestruck sappy teenagers even after 8 years together, 3 married.

My parents were born in the 1930s and 40s, and never told me they loved me when I was growing up but I felt loved. My dad actually did tell me he loved me when I was 24. I remember the exact time and place! I’ve told my DD that I love her every day since the day she was born. I haven’t been able to help myself! I understand that my parents were from a very different generation where feelings weren’t discussed but can’t imagine not telling my child that I love her, I can’t keep it in! If I had a partner I’d expect to be the same.

😅 He was a tit. It was right in the middle of an argument and he dramatically threw his hands in the air and said ‘I love you!’ He had misread his audience.

I wasn’t expecting the onslaught about other aspects of my relationship. It is a bit odd how worked up people get.

🤣🤣🤣

It’s hardly ‘casual’ if they’ve been together 5 plus years and in a committed and exclusive relationship 🙄. You know not every loving relationship looks like a married couple with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever! Also, doesn’t every couple have the relationship on their ‘own terms’. Your multiple Qs and appraisal of OPs relationship is just so very judgmental and blinkered!

We're exactly the same!