To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

Now that you have children and tell them “all the time” you love them, are you not perplexed by your parents never saying it to you?

Yes, yes and yes.

I think you just say to your friend that it’s not you never saying you love your partner Op. it is neither of you saying and you’re both relaxed about that.

So all good.

Just neither want to live together. That may change but doesn’t sound like either wants that, so maybe not.

My favourite is ‘happy birthday to Emma! I love you more than words can say. You’ve changed my life and saved me’ and so on. Emma is four, can’t read and doesn’t have Facebook.

Your relationship is different to most other relationships out there. That doesn’t mean it is worth any less, if you’re both happy where you are right now then who cares what others think x

Yes actions speak louder than words but why cant you do both?
Me and my husband have been together 11 years married for 6, show each other we love each and say it.

I think it is really bizarre you can't bring yourself to say it even if "actions speak louder than words"

How interesting! Have you said it to previous partners?

I think I’ve got that impression.

To me it sounds like two causal daters albeit for half a decade. But to the Op and her DP it’s clearly a fully functioning relationship
… just on their terms

Like a companionship? Doesn’t mean it’s worth less or OP doesn’t love her DP and vise versa.

I didn’t say I didn’t know whether he wants a family - he doesn’t.

Exactly

My parents never did but i have absolutely no doubt they did/,do love me and I had a lovely childhood they were very affectionate.

Yes and yes. I’m not sure why people keep asking if we holiday together and share a bed.

Have you met his family? You have never heard the word love being bandied about in relation to one another?

@Takinitgottobserd i am the same as you. You don’t need to say something when it can be shown and felt.

i find the people who are saying it in excess are normally insecure and are trying to convince themselves that they are in a loving relationship.

When you say it’s actions that show love Op, what actions have you / DP taken or take to show that love in actions?

No people are different, they were born during the war ,they showed love in many ways they just didn't say it.

How do you know it’s “too excess”?

Give you never say it, I imagine anything above zero is “too excess” !

and who are the people saying it to excess? To you?

🙄

“Born during the war”
and never telling you child that you love them, not once…
I honestly don’t see the two is related but 🤷‍♀️

I did! It seemed to make her think it was more strange, not less. She couldn’t fathom that I didn’t care if he said it or not.

Even though you told her that you don’t care either?

what an odd friend!

It doesn’t repulse me or anything. I’ve said it in previous relationships. I just don’t see or feel the need to say it, or hear it.

The people who say it every day, the people who end every phone call with it, the people who are constantly posting stories on SM about getting in after a girls weekend to find a spotless house #loveyoubabe.