To never tell partner I love him?

[Takinitgottobserd]

Is it weird? I have never told him I love him, and he's never told me he loves me. I do love him, completely. My parents never told me they loved me growing up, and I never told them, but there was absolutely no doubt that we all did.

I spoke to him yesterday and a friend commented that she always told her DH she loved him every time she said bye, and did I not do the same. I said I’d never said it and nor had my DP, and she found it mind blowing.

Is it that strange?

But he did say it to you before he asked you to marry him?

My boyfriend hasn’t asked me to marry him.

Yes we all know that OP!

Hi OP, I don’t mean this rudely at all, but more food for thought. You say you know he loves you, but he has never told you that and you have never asked. You say that you love him, but that you “wouldn’t care” if he didn’t actually love you. You say you’d marry him if he asked but you don’t care if he does ask you…

I totally agree that actions speak louder than words, but what actions has he carried out to show you that he loves you in a way that implies any kind of serious commitment ? It sounds like he is kind and thoughtful, that you have fun together, that you are affectionate/ physical etc. but people can be all these things in a less committed/ serious relationship. You haven’t moved in together, you haven’t discussed it, you don’t want a family, he’s given no indication that he wants to marry you, you don’t know his family too well, he doesn’t post about you on social media... Of course none of these things equal love and you can have a committed , loving relationship without each or all of these things , but without any of the typical actions that differentiate between serious commitment/ love and a happy-but-causal relationship, and without him telling you he loves you, on what basis are you assuming the former? Couldn’t someone who really liked someone for now and enjoyed the relationship but who had no long term intentions or particularly deep feelings behave exactly as you have described your BF?

So what are these actions that speak louder than words?

So your question is irrelevant.

I wasn’t asking you

Aside from having kids, getting married, living together or posting on social media (?) what differentiates a casual and serious relationship, in your view?

He makes time for me. He makes me absolutely secure he neither lies to me nor cheats on me. He’s thoughtful and supportive. He’s reliable, trusting, and as far away from controlling or possessive as it’s humanly possible to be, which is a big thing for me. How does anyone show love? Getting married, having children, living together and posting about each other on social media are not always demonstrations of love, and often hide many underlying problems.

Yes I know, I can read. You’re asking so you can twist it, as you’ve been doing for the whole thread.

Yes I do understand and of course it sounds like a healthy happy relationship. But he could do all these things and it wouldn’t necessarily imply a serious or long term committment surely? Couldn’t a happy , time limited , sincere friendship also contain all these things? How do you know this is a ling term committment I guess without asking bim/ him telling you, or him doing something that obviously entails a long term committment (like getting a joint mortgage, having a baby , getting married, etc)?

We could do any of those things and he could still leave tomorrow.

Couldn’t a happy , time limited , sincere friendship also contain all these things?

Do you really think that if you don’t live together and have kids that you might as well stop having sex and just be friends?

oh Come one OP

go back to your early posts….
indifferent to marriage and even living together
very happy living alone
never ever spoken about marriage or love and a casual conversation about what flat it would take for the two of you to even consider moving In together (sound proofing and two receptions rooms!) in passing but nothing more

and now…. You’d be “tempted to move in together”
and you’d “probably say yes if he asked you to marry him”

you are in a relationship where you don’t say I love you to one another, don’t live together , very happy living apart after 5 years together, Indifferent to getting married and the two of you have never spoken about it.

All I’m saying is… the things you are indifferent to, really don’t appear to remotely be on the cards anyway

Or carry on having sex and be friends

Why would I want to do that? 😂😂 Honestly your posts get stranger and stranger.

I don’t think you understand what indifferent means.

Are you in a bad relationship yourself? It is clearly annoying you that other people are very happy not being in a traditional set up.

How about you tell us what you mean by indifferent?

Op, it’s all good. I very much doubt that you’ll ever have to test that indifference to marriage. Or find that sound proofed two reception room flat! And you will never ever be forced to squirm as he says I love you to you.

rejoice!

do you mean why would you want to carry on doing that? Who knows

I will leave you to it op.

line of duty season 6!

Unconcerned. Those things are neither good nor bad. I don’t really care one way or the other. The classic, usual definition of indifferent.

😂😂 I don’t care whether it does or doesn’t happen. It makes no odds. I’m very happy. We are very happy.

You might give your pals a good rogering. If so, lucky them.

FWB

night

No you won’t. You’ll be back like a little troll moth to a flame. Just like you are to multiple other threads you’re on under different names.

I am sorry that you’re so unhappy in your own life.

Another term you don’t understand. Friends with benefits can sleep with whoever they like, whenever they like. You do not remain faithful to a FWB.

Try it. Might give you some happiness in life.

chill op
25 years down the line you still won’t have had to squirm because the words “I love you” will never have been said, and you’ll still be very happy on your flat and him in his flat.

it is all good

and yep, I may well be back he he